A Simple Way to Shut Up a Street Preacher

[downbeatplumb]

Have you ever actually used this method? If you have I would be interested in hearing how the preacher responded. I don't see how it would stop anyone from preaching.

No, preaching is a hard disease to cure. So the afflicted should be quarantined.

Street preachers, noise polluters of the worst kind.

[Jaysyn]

Have you ever actually used this method? If you have I would be interested in hearing how the preacher responded. I don't see how it would stop anyone from preaching.

Good point. Having their hypocrisy shown to them has never slowed down any preacher I've ever heard of.

[Existentialist]

I find the quickest method to silence a street preacher is to walk out of earshot and go and do your shopping. That way you don't violate the street preacher's right of free speech, you minimise the impact on yourself and you affirm your own right to stand in the street preaching atheism (if that's ever what you want to do).

[chatpilot]

Living in New York I get my share of preachers from just about every denomination imaginable, it's a freaking nightmare. But i have learned to just laugh them off and tune them out along with the rest of the noise in the city. As soon as I am approached I stop them dead cold and tell them I am an atheist and I don't have time to tell them why. That usually does the trick for me.

[Loki_999]

I find that this usually does the trick

Ah, gaffer/duct tape... is there anything it can't be used for?

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and you affirm your own right to stand in the street preaching atheism (if that's ever what you want to do).

It would be a bit difficult to preach athiesm though. I mean, its not really like you can do the hellfire and brimstone routine to rattle the masses.

"You are NOT going to burn in the fires of hell"
"Nobody died for you and you are not sinners"
"Evolution is proven to be scientifically correct!"

Nah, i can't see it working.

[Existentialist]

It would be a bit difficult to preach athiesm

But you have a right to try

[leo-rcc]

Ah, gaffer/duct tape... is there anything it can't be used for?

Lubrication.

[Anomalocaris]

It would be a bit difficult to preach athiesm

But you have a right to try

How about "thou shall neither fear burning in a lake of fire for an eternity, nor look forward to sucking the cock of an executed roman criminal to the end of time"?

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Ah, gaffer/duct tape... is there anything it can't be used for?

Lubrication.

Yes it can. The nonsticky side is reasonably slick.

[Watson]

If he's preaching Christianity, this passage probably isn't a problem for him.

[coffeeveritas]

Considering all of the proselytising that has been going in my school due to the elections (as well as unpleasant conversations with preachers/street evangelists in the past), I thought I'd make a simple guide as to disarming these loud-mouthed know-it-alls using one simple Bible verse.

Should you find yourself in a situation involving this type of Christian:

1. Ask the Christian for his/her Bible.

2. Locate and read (out loud) Matthew 6:5. http://goo.gl/mk1Qc

3. Watch the magic happen!

We had a street preacher across the street from our music venue/ministry back in my home town. Typically the staff would just roll their eyes at him and try to ignore him. But a lot of kids hung out in front of the place and when we'd go up to talk to them the crazy guy across the street at least gave us something to talk about. It was along the lines of, "That guy is crazy, it's like he hasn't even read the Bible."

It'd be interesting to quote the verses from Isaiah that the Gospels quote about Jesus, which clearly state that His mission is a mission of peace, and mercy to the poor/oppressed. Or the fact that the only people Jesus condemns in the Bible are self-righteous religious leaders who oppress people with their over-bearing religious views. I might get no where, but it would be interesting to try.

Plan B: Wear a pink shirt (guys only) and stand next to the street preacher with a megaphone and keep saying, "Listen to what my life partner has to say, legalize gay marriage."

Plan C: 10 people dressed up as Lion King characters march around him in a circle singing the "Circle of Life" song. Especially good for that first part of the song that's in some African language, that's really fun to sing. If he asks what you're doing just say, "It's the Circle of Life!"

Plan D: Mimes, mimes everywhere, all around him, non-stop trapped in an invisible box.

Plan E: Dress up like Jesus, stand behind him repeatedly rolling you eyes and shaking your head "no", occasionally exclaim, "Wrong!"

Plan E (alt.): Dress up like Satan, prowl around the man nodding, smiling, and laughing deviously while saying, "YES, YES my minion, FILL THEM with your HATE!"