Porn, porn and more porn!

[Silver]

I wrote something recently that I plan on using in a future novel. It relates to the theistic notion of sin.

What the early theists saw as "sin" was just happy living and celebration. A notion most people don't understand is that the concept of "sin" was merely created to make perfectly good people feel bad about enjoying life. Early theists were the scrooges of life.

Those who attempt to dictate others based on their misguided perceptions of sin are merely scrooges of life.

[henryp]

That's a pretty tough standard you've set.  You're a straight lass and seem to have the hots for Megan Fox.  What chance does a hetero guy have?

Having sex with your wife rather than masturbating to porn doesn't seem like that much to ask. I'd feel pretty shitty if he'd rather do that than have sex with me.

They're very different experiences.  Sometimes it's nice to be by yourself and have a relaxing go of things.  Sex with wife is way better.  But they are so different, that it's more about what someone is in the mood for, than rejecting one for the other.  

I think the disconnect may be that one woman can be more than enough in reality.  But in the fantasy reel that is playing in our heads, I'd be very surprised if it was always just one person for any man.  Is the line that's crossed for you physically seeing it?  Would you be hurt if there was imaginings going on?

[Simon Moon]

That's a pretty tough standard you've set.  You're a straight lass and seem to have the hots for Megan Fox.  What chance does a hetero guy have?

Having sex with your wife rather than masturbating to porn doesn't seem like that much to ask. I'd feel pretty shitty if he'd rather do that than have sex with me.

You seem to be setting up a false dichotomy.

Just because someone enjoys porn from time to time, does not mean that they would still not rather have sex with you.

One experience is not a replacement for the other. They can coexist in a healthy relationship.

[Catholic_Lady]

Having sex with your wife rather than masturbating to porn doesn't seem like that much to ask. I'd feel pretty shitty if he'd rather do that than have sex with me.

They're very different experiences.  Sometimes it's nice to be by yourself and have a relaxing go of things.  Sex with wife is way better.  But they are so different, that it's more about what someone is in the mood for, than rejecting one for the other.  

I think the disconnect may be that one woman can be more than enough in reality.  But in the fantasy reel that is playing in our heads, I'd be very surprised if it was always just one person for any man.  Is the line that's crossed for you physically seeing it?  Would you be hurt if there was imaginings going on?

But he would still prefer that to having sex with me (or just looking at my naked pics) at that moment.

Also, theres the betrayal part of it for me because sex is an "us" thing. We were both V's when we married and so it's something we've only experienced with each other. It feels exclussive to us and our relationship, and I like that. It's our special thing, if you will, and introducing another person into the mix (even if she's just on the TV screen) wouldn't sit right with me one bit.

I would also be hurt if I knew he was day dreaming about having sex with other women. Now before anyone says anything, let me say theres a difference between A. seeing an attractive person and thinking they are hot (and even having an involuntary moment of arousal) but going on about your day..., and B. taking the time to voluntarily day dream and fantasize about having sex with them.

I would feel upset about the latter.

[Fireball]

Addressing the OP, not singling anyone out- My brother knows a guy who was doing it horsie style, and laid an opened Playboy magazine on the gal's back, to view the centerfold. She asked what he was doing, and he told her. She didn't bump him off her for it, though. Weird.

[KevinM1]

I think in general all the animal instincts are covered by religious tenets.  The 7 sins are basically a list of motivated animal behaviors that, if they get out of control, become unproductive.

Sex is fine.  Get married, make babies, God approves.  Unproductive sex in any form is a waste of time and energy.
Eating is fine.  Eating far too much is unhealthy and inefficient of human resources, and is therefore proscribed against.

Of course, this all depends on the goal of maximizing efficiency and productivity, and not that of maximizing pleasure.

Yup.  Above all else, a religion is a political entity.  When you’re living in antiquity, surrounded on all sides (metaphorically speaking) by competing sects, you need to create a system that will allow you to outlast them.  And the way you enforce it, so the rubes will stay in line, is to make it so sex for pleasure is utterly taboo by couching it as something that your group’s god finds terribly offensive.

[LadyForCamus]

That's a pretty tough standard you've set.  You're a straight lass and seem to have the hots for Megan Fox.  What chance does a hetero guy have?

Having sex with your wife rather than masturbating to porn doesn't seem like that much to ask. I'd feel pretty shitty if he'd rather do that than have sex with me.

CL, are you telling me that you have never had a sexual fantasy about a man who wasn’t your husband?  Ever?!

[henryp]

They're very different experiences.  Sometimes it's nice to be by yourself and have a relaxing go of things.  Sex with wife is way better.  But they are so different, that it's more about what someone is in the mood for, than rejecting one for the other.  

I think the disconnect may be that one woman can be more than enough in reality.  But in the fantasy reel that is playing in our heads, I'd be very surprised if it was always just one person for any man.  Is the line that's crossed for you physically seeing it?  Would you be hurt if there was imaginings going on?

But he would still prefer that to having sex with me (or just looking at my naked pics) at that moment.

Also, theres the betrayal part of it for me because sex is an "us" thing. We were both V's when we married and so it's something we've only experienced with each other. It feels exclusive to us and our relationship, and I like that. It's our special thing, if you will, and introducing another person into the mix (even if she's just on the TV screen) wouldn't sit right with me one bit.

I would also be hurt if I knew he was day dreaming about having sex with other women. Now before anyone says anything, let me say theres a difference between A. seeing an attractive person and thinking they are hot (and even having an involuntary moment of arousal) but going on about your day..., and B. taking the time to voluntarily day dream and fantasize about having sex with them.

I would feel upset about the latter.

Huh.  That would be an immense amount of pressure to try and not only be the only person sexually for another physically, which I think is reasonable enough, but to be the only person in the fantasy sense as well is tough.  Is there a lesbian loophole?  Sneak Megan Fox into the fantasy, if he's imagining you and Megan, rather than him and Megan, does that lessen the blow?

Do you know that there's often a complete disconnect between the fantasy and reality?  That guys can fantasize about something for arousal/enjoyment purposes that they have no interest in in reality?  Using the lesbian example, despite my wife having had several romantic encounters with other ladyfolk in my imagination, I don't have any actual interest in her being a lesbian.

[Minimalist]

Long story short is we believe sex is a sacred thing that should be reserved as an act of love and life long commitment. (Oh the horror!!)

If it is so"sacred" how come your god didn't just fuck Mary and be done with it instead of all this holy spirit cumming on her horseshit?

[Catholic_Lady]

Having sex with your wife rather than masturbating to porn doesn't seem like that much to ask. I'd feel pretty shitty if he'd rather do that than have sex with me.

CL, are you telling me that you have never had a sexual fantasy about a man who wasn’t your husband?  Ever?!

My ex boyfriends before I met my husband, but that's it lol. I Have to actually really really like someone before wanting to have sex with them.

---

But he would still prefer that to having sex with me (or just looking at my naked pics) at that moment.

Also, theres the betrayal part of it for me because sex is an "us" thing. We were both V's when we married and so it's something we've only experienced with each other. It feels exclusive to us and our relationship, and I like that. It's our special thing, if you will, and introducing another person into the mix (even if she's just on the TV screen) wouldn't sit right with me one bit.

I would also be hurt if I knew he was day dreaming about having sex with other women. Now before anyone says anything, let me say theres a difference between A. seeing an attractive person and thinking they are hot (and even having an involuntary moment of arousal) but going on about your day..., and B. taking the time to voluntarily day dream and fantasize about having sex with them.

I would feel upset about the latter.

Huh.  That would be an immense amount of pressure to try and not only be the only person sexually for another physically, which I think is reasonable enough, but to be the only person in the fantasy sense as well is tough.  Is there a lesbian loophole?  Sneak Megan Fox into the fantasy, if he's imagining you and Megan, rather than him and Megan, does that lessen the blow?

Do you know that there's often a complete disconnect between the fantasy and reality?  That guys can fantasize about something for arousal/enjoyment purposes that they have no interest in in reality?  Using the lesbian example, despite my wife having had several romantic encounters with other ladyfolk in my imagination, I don't have any actual interest in her being a lesbian.

Again, im not talking about passing thoughts that are involuntary. I'm talking about actively visualizing a fantasy of having sex with someone who isn't your spouse.

I don't see this is being a difficult thing to abstain from doing, but I guess that's just because I have a completely different view of sex. I have no desire to do it with someone I don't care about, so there's no urge for me personally to fantasize about it. To me, sex is very much tied into love. I cant seperate the two even if I tried.

Honestly the thought of my husband fantasizing a 3some is probably even worse, even if I was involved. It just doesnt seem at all appropriate.