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Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
#1
Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
I'm already atheist and I haven't told them yet. Sometimes I wonder if they're sure I'm a believer, if they fear that I only pretend to believe, or that I'll someday leave the faith. When I told my mom I had some doubts about the faith, she insisted that faith is good and I should stay, even though I didn't say I want to leave. She was speaking calmly and gently, but I felt like she was fearing and didn't want to exteriorize it. Dad is also pretty insistent about faith. My parents don't believe in Hell, so it can't be that. What they fear is that I will not follow the herd like a good sheep and life would be harder for me as a minority. 
My question is: are they sure I'm a believer? Can I find the answer without asking them?

Also, Happy Holidays! For those who celebrate them and if you don't, then Happy Nonholidays! or Happy Commercialdays!
"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none"

Charlie Chaplin
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#2
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
What kind of reaction do you think you'd get if you flat out told them? I mean, if you did tell them, you'd probably want to be sensitive to their feelings, and put a great deal of thought into what you say. But if you did all that, how do you think they'd respond?
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#3
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
(December 24, 2017 at 6:26 am)vulcanlogician Wrote: What kind of reaction do you think you'd get if you flat out told them? I mean, if you did tell them, you'd probably want to be sensitive to their feelings, and put a great deal of thought into what you say. But if you did all that, how do you think they'd respond?

They would be shocked, especially if I told them directly.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none"

Charlie Chaplin
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#4
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
Well, if that's your assessment, I think that answers your question in the OP.

They think you believe.
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#5
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
(December 24, 2017 at 5:23 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: I'm already atheist and I haven't told them yet. Sometimes I wonder if they're sure I'm a believer, if they fear that I only pretend to believe, or that I'll someday leave the faith. When I told my mom I had some doubts about the faith, she insisted that faith is good and I should stay, even though I didn't say I want to leave. She was speaking calmly and gently, but I felt like she was fearing and didn't want to exteriorize it. Dad is also pretty insistent about faith. My parents don't believe in Hell, so it can't be that. What they fear is that I will not follow the herd like a good sheep and life would be harder for me as a minority. 
My question is: are they sure I'm a believer? Can I find the answer without asking them?

Also, Happy Holidays! For those who celebrate them and if you don't, then Happy Nonholidays! or Happy Commercialdays!

  No they probably do not know, it sounds like they are not Christians either and if they are not, whether they believe in hell or not if the whole family doesn't change you will spend eternity in that non place. Just because you refuse to believe doesn't make what you think correct, it means you are fooling yourself so you can live the life style you have chosen. I just responded to you in another thread where you called Christians pussies, I believe you were actually speaking of yourself since you are afraid to tell them the truth. Oh, you also mention a moral code in the other thread, apparently in the atheist moral code it's okay to lie, that is exactly what you are doing when you withhold the truth from your parents. So the next time you want to rave about Christians I suggest you get the log out of your eye before speaking.

GC
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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#6
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
(December 24, 2017 at 6:30 am)Die Atheistin Wrote:
(December 24, 2017 at 6:26 am)vulcanlogician Wrote: What kind of reaction do you think you'd get if you flat out told them? I mean, if you did tell them, you'd probably want to be sensitive to their feelings, and put a great deal of thought into what you say. But if you did all that, how do you think they'd respond?

They would be shocked, especially if I told them directly.


I would recommend not telling them, if you think there is a possibility they will freak.

It may put a strain on your relationship with them, or worse.

But if decide to tell them, don't make a big deal out of it. Don't do the stereotypical thing, and say, "Mom, Dad... Sit down, I have something to tell you". That process adds unneeded gravity to the situation.

If they ask, or it comes up in the future, don't use the "atheist" word. There is too much negative baggage connected to it. Just something like, "I do not think I am convinced of that any more".

You'd believe if you just opened your heart" is a terrible argument for religion. It's basically saying, "If you bias yourself enough, you can convince yourself that this is true." If religion were true, people wouldn't need faith to believe it -- it would be supported by good evidence.
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#7
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
(December 24, 2017 at 5:23 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: I'm already atheist and I haven't told them yet. Sometimes I wonder if they're sure I'm a believer, if they fear that I only pretend to believe, or that I'll someday leave the faith. When I told my mom I had some doubts about the faith, she insisted that faith is good and I should stay, even though I didn't say I want to leave. She was speaking calmly and gently, but I felt like she was fearing and didn't want to exteriorize it. Dad is also pretty insistent about faith. My parents don't believe in Hell, so it can't be that. What they fear is that I will not follow the herd like a good sheep and life would be harder for me as a minority. 
My question is: are they sure I'm a believer? Can I find the answer without asking them?

Also, Happy Holidays! For those who celebrate them and if you don't, then Happy Nonholidays! or Happy Commercialdays!

I just spent 45 mins yesterday talking on FB voice with my biological mother, not my adoptive mother who raised me. No, it was not an attempt to replace my now late mother. But really I had been fishing for anyone to talk to because I hate not being able to talk to someone on that day. 

Anyway, a little backstory to this. I was a adopted at the age of 4/half maybe 5. I didn't find my biological family until the mid 90s. I was born in 1966. 

My younger biological sister ALSO ditched her religion as an adult. But was still a believer when we first met. She got alot of shit from our biological family, alot more than I did because they knew I didn't believe when they first met me. 

BUT, the good thing about family, if you don't make it a war, is time will get them used to it, even if they don't like it. I know my biological mother loves me. We have NOTHING in common, nor am I as close to her as I was with my late adoptive mother. It still took alot for her to give us up, me and my younger sister, so that we could have better lives. 

If you always SHOW your parents you love them, while you may have to put up with living under their roof now, when you get on your own, you can be more expressive, but at the same time give them the space too. 

Even my biological mother said last night, and as much as the mythology and sky hero crap bothers me, she did say, and I agree, "We are more alike than we think."

I really DO hold the position that MOST humans are good, or at least think they are trying to do good. I merely disagree as to where that good is coming from.
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#8
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
Perhaps they are projecting their own doubts on to you?  How could any rational being believe that story?

Sometimes I wonder if our resident fundies don't hang around here because of the doubts they harbor?
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#9
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
(December 26, 2017 at 5:12 pm)Simon Moon Wrote: But if decide to tell them, don't make a big deal out of it. Don't do the stereotypical thing, and say, "Mom, Dad... Sit down, I have something to tell you". That process adds unneeded gravity to the situation.  
I disagree.

Done properly, this method can be employed without "gravity" being a problem. For instance, start dropping hints that you're gay... then, after some time, say, "Mom, Dad... Sit down, I have something to tell you."

In certain parental situations, the revelation that one is an atheist would be met with relief.

You gotta be inventive sometimes.
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#10
RE: Do my parents fear that I'll leave the faith?
(December 26, 2017 at 4:57 pm)Godscreated Wrote:   No they probably do not know, it sounds like they are not Christians either and if they are not, whether they believe in hell or not if the whole family doesn't change you will spend eternity in that non place. Just because you refuse to believe doesn't make what you think correct, it means you are fooling yourself so you can live the life style you have chosen. I just responded to you in another thread where you called Christians pussies, I believe you were actually speaking of yourself since you are afraid to tell them the truth. Oh, you also mention a moral code in the other thread, apparently in the atheist moral code it's okay to lie, that is exactly what you are doing when you withhold the truth from your parents. So the next time you want to rave about Christians I suggest you get the log out of your eye before speaking.

GC

I didn't call all christians pussies, just the ones who practice religion out of comfort rather than actual belief. And I didn't say that all atheists are moral or that I'm perfectly moral, I said that there are a lot of rules in the Bible which christians don't respect, I don't have a moral code on paper which I don't respect, that's what I said. And sometimes lying is required. Do you know what would happen if I told my parents the truth? They would be shocked, they would enforce Christianity even more on me. Dad especially would make a scene. I would expect him to forbid me to go to college. So yeah, I'm a bit of a pussy too, but the "imagine that a God exists for comfort" persons are even bigger pussies. They're literally afraid of reality, at the very least I'm afraid of the people I depend on.
Not to mention that I'm a happy case, there are many atheist kids with fundamentalist parents.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none"

Charlie Chaplin
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