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Current time: November 7, 2024, 4:41 pm

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The Case Against Elon Musk
#1
The Case Against Elon Musk
Recently, I made the observation that Musk is '...one lab accident away from becoming a super villain.'  Since then, I've done a LOT of serious investigative work of the pointy-clicky type and have come to the conclusion that he's already a super villain.  Attend:

His Name - 'Elon Musk' sounds pretty goddamned villainous to me.  Historically, villains are know for their odd names - Lex Luthor.  Oswald Cobblepot. Otto Octavius.  James Bond routinely battled foes with monikers like Blofeld and Hugo Drax, but I'm sure just the name 'Elon Musk' would make him wet himself.  Furthermore 'Elon Musk' is an anagram for 'Noel Skum', a clear indication that Musk hates Christmas.

His History The origins of supervillains are often shrouded in mystery, and Musk is no different.  He claims to have been born in South Africa.  This claim is specious at best, because 1) He steadfastly refuses to speak Afrikaans, despite countless opportunities to do so; 2) Wikipedia and several other sites all list his net worth in dollars, not rand (this is highly suspicious); and 3)  He doesn't seem to despise black people - what are we to make of this?

His Voice Like other supervillains, Musk kinda sorta has an accent, but it is impossible to nail down - not quite South African, not quite Canadian, not quite American.  What is he hiding?

His Love Life  Musk has (allegedly) been married twice.  His first marriage produced five children, all boys, all by in vitro fertilization.  This is clearly a cover for his genetic engineering programme to create a virtually unlimited number of effectively immortal Elon Musks.  He married his second wife, divorced her, then remarried her almost two years later. Why?  Because he was tweaking her in the lab hidden within his Secret Volcano Lair, trying to create the ultimate wife.  Less than three years later, they divorced again (clearly, the Make-A-Wife process is not yet perfected).

His Emotional Makeup  Virtually all supervillains are emotionally unhinged in some form or fashion.  Musk lost a son to SIDS, has/had a horrible relationship with is father, and has been known to experiment with risky combinations of alcohol and drugs.  We're supposed to believe this guy is stable?

His Most Troubling Business Enterprise  OK, forget about the cool SpaceX stuff, and the Tesla cars we'd all like to have, and blah blah blah.  In 2016, Musk co-founded Neuralink, a company which '... is centered on creating devices that can be implanted in the human brain, with the eventual purpose of helping human beings merge with software and keep pace with advancements in artificial intelligence'.

Get this man a mask, a spandex suit and a red cape.  He's there.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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#2
RE: The Case Against Elon Musk
at least he's not a baby eating atheist

Tongue
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#3
RE: The Case Against Elon Musk
Did you forget the flamethrower?

(Mine worked a lot better.)
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#4
RE: The Case Against Elon Musk
I'm convinced.
VOTE: lynch Elon Musk
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#5
RE: The Case Against Elon Musk
(February 8, 2018 at 2:31 pm)shadow Wrote: I'm convinced.
VOTE: lynch Elon Musk

Speaking of that? Is the break over?
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