My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things

[Brian37]

[possibletarian]

So it turns out that my old banger from 2004 is quite an amazing car. It talks to me telepathically and tells me when someone is about to jump out into the middle of the road, if someone is about to crash into me or whether the traffic lights are about to change. It's allowed me to avoid all kinds of accidents in the past.

I've had the garage check it out and the mechanics tell me that it is a normal car. I did explain to them that the car is telepathic, you just need to accept that before you can have a relationship with it. But to be honest they seem a little close minded and keep coming up with materialistic counter-arguments grounded in scientism. They accuse me of being ignorant of how cars work yet I know that I am more of an expert in them because none of them are spiritual and it's a spiritual car.

I personally know for sure that my car is telepathic because I can feel it talking to me but they don't seem convinced by this argument. When they demand proof then I tell them that I haven't been in an accident. This could only have happened for two reasons, either because the car is warning me in advance, or by pure luck. I calculated the chance of me not being in an accident given the myriad of random movements made while driving and found that it was statistically impossible. Then the mechanics come up with arguments from ignorance saying that they can see no way that the car could be intelligent or able to communicate telepathically with me. I tried to explain to them that it was a supernatural car but they didn't seem to understand what the word meant.

Are all mechanics this stupid?

Ignorant fool's, everyone knows Ford make an excellent range of telepathic cars.

[Joods]

So it turns out that my old banger from 2004 is quite an amazing car. It talks to me telepathically and tells me when someone is about to jump out into the middle of the road, if someone is about to crash into me or whether the traffic lights are about to change. It's allowed me to avoid all kinds of accidents in the past.

I've had the garage check it out and the mechanics tell me that it is a normal car. I did explain to them that the car is telepathic, you just need to accept that before you can have a relationship with it. But to be honest they seem a little close minded and keep coming up with materialistic counter-arguments grounded in scientism. They accuse me of being ignorant of how cars work yet I know that I am more of an expert in them because none of them are spiritual and it's a spiritual car.

I personally know for sure that my car is telepathic because I can feel it talking to me but they don't seem convinced by this argument. When they demand proof then I tell them that I haven't been in an accident. This could only have happened for two reasons, either because the car is warning me in advance, or by pure luck. I calculated the chance of me not being in an accident given the myriad of random movements made while driving and found that it was statistically impossible. Then the mechanics come up with arguments from ignorance saying that they can see no way that the car could be intelligent or able to communicate telepathically with me. I tried to explain to them that it was a supernatural car but they didn't seem to understand what the word meant.

Are all mechanics this stupid?

Shit. That's nothing. My car starts itself without being told to.

[I_am_not_mafia]

Shit. That's nothing. My car starts itself without being told to.

Impressive! All this eye witness testimony and the mechanicists still won't believe us because they can't personally see how it could happen. They are arguing from ignorance! They are reductionists who, just because they understand the basics of physics and engineering, they think they fully understand how a car works.

[vulcanlogician]

My Ford does awesome things that aren't objectively observable too! It's amazing. There is this magic gas pump symbol that lights up when I need to fill up-- It somehow "knows" when I'm low on gas. These cars are psychic! Why do the naysayers doubt this?

The only gripe I have is with the owners manual. There is not a single error in it, of course, but I wish it would have been written more clearly. Near the beginning it says that each carburetor has been visually inspected by two different technicians, but later on in the manual it says, "No man hath seen nor can see the carburetor." It's so confusing! But I find that if I follow the manual closely, everything works out in the end. And if things don't work out, I never assume the manual was wrong; instead, I chalk it up to my own inability to follow the manual correctly or the mysterious intentions of the manufacturer. Also, the manual says that there is room for a fuckton of animals in the back seat, but I don't think that so many animal could fit in my car.

Other than that, I'm happy as a lamb.

[I_am_not_mafia]

The only gripe I have is with the owners manual. There is not a single error in it, of course, but I wish it would have been written more clearly. Near the beginning it says that each carburetor has been visually inspected by two different technicians, but later on in the manual it says, "No man hath seen nor can see the carburetor." It's so confusing!

That's because you are using a modern day translation of the Ford manual. You cannot trust it because the word has been corrupted by Volkswagen. My manual from 2004 is the original manual for all Ford cars that have ever existed. It does not use the word carburettor but refers to the fuel / air mixer.

[Brian37]

So it turns out that my old banger from 2004 is quite an amazing car. It talks to me telepathically and tells me when someone is about to jump out into the middle of the road, if someone is about to crash into me or whether the traffic lights are about to change. It's allowed me to avoid all kinds of accidents in the past.

I've had the garage check it out and the mechanics tell me that it is a normal car. I did explain to them that the car is telepathic, you just need to accept that before you can have a relationship with it. But to be honest they seem a little close minded and keep coming up with materialistic counter-arguments grounded in scientism. They accuse me of being ignorant of how cars work yet I know that I am more of an expert in them because none of them are spiritual and it's a spiritual car.

I personally know for sure that my car is telepathic because I can feel it talking to me but they don't seem convinced by this argument. When they demand proof then I tell them that I haven't been in an accident. This could only have happened for two reasons, either because the car is warning me in advance, or by pure luck. I calculated the chance of me not being in an accident given the myriad of random movements made while driving and found that it was statistically impossible. Then the mechanics come up with arguments from ignorance saying that they can see no way that the car could be intelligent or able to communicate telepathically with me. I tried to explain to them that it was a supernatural car but they didn't seem to understand what the word meant.

Are all mechanics this stupid?

Shit. That's nothing. My car starts itself without being told to.

Stephen King, is that you?

[Norfolk And Chance]

I have a 2004 Ford Focus C-Max!!

[I_am_not_mafia]

I have a 2004 Ford Focus C-Max!!

Oh this is exciting news!

Try telepathically communicating with it and get back here with the results. This way we might be able to investigate the spiritual world using the "intuitional science" that Little Rik has taught us.

If we find that they are all alive, you never know. In a few decades time we might even find ourselves reincarnating as a 2004 Ford C-Max.

[ignoramus]

Yeah, but did he have to take out the battery and the catconverters too?