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Things that change us
#11
RE: Things that change us
A hell of a lot has changed me in the past 5 years. But that comes with being a young adult I guess.
But let me tell you, a lot happened, I wouldn't even know where to begin.
Could it be the horrendous drama with my dad, depression I had at 15, heartbreak at 17, meeting my sister for the first time at 19, so fucking much has happened in the past 5 years, the things I just mentioned only scratch the surface. It's not a bad thing though, this is life, I don't think I'd have it any other way. This made me who I am.
The bugle sounds as the charge begins

But on this battlefield no one wins

- Iron Maiden, The Trooper
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#12
RE: Things that change us
(March 29, 2018 at 3:26 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Nothing has ever changed me.  For as long as I can remember, I have been the paragon of virtue, moral rectitude and humility you have all come to know and admire.

Boru

Totally see your modesty shining through here! Big Grin
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#13
RE: Things that change us
(March 28, 2018 at 10:37 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: I was thinking when I was taking a shower earlier tonight, about all of the people, events and things that have changed me in the past five years. My grandmother (my dad's mom) died about three years ago, and I never thought I'd stop crying. I felt like the mourning process would last forever, and that every thought would be tainted with pain and sorrow. But, then one day, I stopped crying, and felt joy when thinking of her. And then there were ex boyfriends who treated me badly, and I never thought I'd recover, or stop going back to them. I had to really look at why I kept attracting assholes, and why I thought so little of myself, that I kept dating players. Toxic friends as well, online and offline, who I let steal my happiness, I also thought I'd never get past. But, I did. Time doesn't heal all wounds, it's what you do with the time, that does that. I've bumped into an ex bf a time or two since getting married last year, and they are still the same lost, pathetic souls they always were, but me? I've grown.

I'm better and stronger. 

I never thought I'd let myself be vulnerable enough after all that pain to love again, but I did. And I got married last year to an amazing guy. Maybe we have to go through a lot of bad stuff to get to a better place. 

Can you relate? What things have changed you?

It was the moment of my diagnosis with M.S . The change was immense; 180 degrees.
My movement became very limited, and I got drenched in the worst depression cycle. So I knew that my previous lifestyle can no longer be maintained.

It was a moment I saw all my dreams fade. But new ones now came with respect to what I have; hey I got more into reading.
I just changed. I'm not the same person anymore. Good, bad? IDK.

Irritable? sometimes.
Depressed? yes.
Apathetic? indeed.

But I look to the world in a total different look now.

So.. yep Smile
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#14
RE: Things that change us
(March 29, 2018 at 7:37 am)*Deidre* Wrote:
(March 29, 2018 at 3:26 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Nothing has ever changed me.  For as long as I can remember, I have been the paragon of virtue, moral rectitude and humility you have all come to know and admire.

Boru

Totally see your modesty shining through here! :D

Naturally. My overwhelming humbleness is what makes people realize what a truly amazing human being I am.  

Boru
‘Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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#15
RE: Things that change us
That moment when they brought my little baby girl to me and laid her on my chest, I felt a good majority of my selfishness evaporate, many of my defences came down, which I no longer needed and I hit the peak of how much love a human being can experience at once.
Suddenly, life made sense.
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#16
RE: Things that change us
I had a great job in 2007 that I lost in December, along with 13 other people. That caused me to move to Kentucky, lose my house in Michigan, suffer depression, get estranged with my brother and his family, get divorced, move back to Michigan, and ultimately find the soon-to-be Mrs. Me. I would say that I changed a lot since that 2007 conversation when I was lied to about my job security.
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#17
RE: Things that change us
The stories here are inspiring. It's crazy how at the time, things seem so shitty, but then you grow from the experiences, without realizing. And you become this strong new person. Raven, your story starts off so sad, but what a happy ending!
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#18
RE: Things that change us
I feel like many things have changed me. My first move out of San Diego was at a bizarre time, rigt after my freshman year of high school. Having to adjust to FL amidst adolescent hormones and grief over my biological father's death from the effects of Agent Orange. Then having to switch high schools while in Florida. Ten moving away to AZ to complete high school. If I had any inkling to be a parent, I would try to see to it that my kids stayed at the same high school. I feel like my social growth was stunted due to so much moving.

I will say, though, for a while, things were good in FL. The very first day, four attractive neigbor girls in their swimwear greeted me at my family's door. We hung out for a while, but then my eccentricity I think proved too much. I dressed differently. I listened to way different music. I was a Unitarian, not a Christian. Etc. Lots of self-absorption all around.

Senior year of hig school changed me in its own way because I was at boarding school. It was an interesting experience, but I don't think I grew from it too well, sadly. Made me less dependent, tough.

Pennsylvania was a learning experience as well, due to things that are more appropriate for A69 (not what you'd think, tough).
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#19
RE: Things that change us
The biggest change in my life was when I decided to live for God, I saw the world in a different light and my life in a better light. You know many things change us and we most often blame something for the bad turns in life, if we would only be honest with ourselves we would see that much came because of what we did or did not do. Yes as young people many influences/influencers change us even when we feel wrong about making the changes, but then we can always go to what we know was correct in the first place. I know because this was part of my life and I'm glad God has changed things for me because I now have a better life than I could have ever had on my own.

GC
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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#20
RE: Things that change us
The thing that changed me the most was undoubtedly my divorce. After being with the same person for many years, submerged in his goals and dreams, I came up for air and decided to pursue my own life. It was initially terrifying, but in the end it was a major win and I have no regrets.

In a strong second place is when I discovered the intense joy of playing in a large concert band. Am now into my eighth year. It's hard to describe what happens to me mentally when I sit down to rehearse or perform, but the teamwork and coordination and camaraderie are a de facto spiritual experience for me.
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