Fuck this stupid fucking country

[Minimalist]

Probably not the best idea to criticize Germany while you're IN Germany. Poland tried that and look what happened.

Boru

I think you missed that the Nazi Party was dissolved after WWII.

It has re-formed.  They just don't speak German any more.

[pocaracas]

In terms of education, the public school should be just as good as the private one (often, better)
The advantage of the private one seems to be that classes are in English.

Personally, I'd take the 5th grade repeat deal, with reviews that may get her to jump ship to 6th grade... so, ensure that she aces everything in 5th grade for the first few weeks and then... something cool may happen.
Can you ask them for the 6th grade curricula so that you may give her some pointers on what she'll be missing during the start of the year?

[Aroura]

Public school usually gets a bad reputation.  I'll leave it at that, because there are so many things I could state that I just don't want to right now.

It's ok, I understand exactly what you mean.  Public school is better than none, and I'm glad they exist, but damn, they fail a LOT of kids.

German public schools are not that much better than American, at least for a foreign student. They were very rigid, focusing mainly on memorization and testing.  There was a great deal of bullying and misbehavior, where our daughter was actually minorly injured a couple of times. 

The international school has small classes, creative question based and hands on teaching, and a very nice staff.  We really like every teacher we met (5 of them now) and the principal, too.

@Jor, I do appreciate the advice.  I agree that being challenged is important. The issue was that she wasn't challenged, she was just unable to follow along at all.  For instance, in math she was fine, math is it's own language for the most part, so she could follow along.  But in every other subject she was put in; biology, history, geography and general science, she was unable to understand the language well enough to follow the lectures, read the homework papers, or take any of the tests. It caused her to start to develop the habit of just tuning out. Even 5 months of immersion is not enough to suddenly follow a 5th grade biology lecture.  It's not just her, I saw all of the poor immigrant kids having the same issue.

Of the two options....really the private school is the only one we are willing to do.  It's not fair. But life isn't fair, I know. :/

p.s. This has made me WAY more sympathetic to spanish immigrants in America.  I swear to you, I didn't think I was racist, but living it from the other side is an education unto itself.

---

Also, thanks everyone for the advice, and for listening. Because I have such a thin personal support network, I'm very thankful for all of you!

---

I think you missed that the Nazi Party was dissolved after WWII.

It has re-formed.  They just don't speak German any more.

You are wrong.  The Nazi party is alive and well over here in Germany.  They meet on Monday nights in the public square here in Dresde (and everyone knows not to bother them. The police are always there, but nothing has ever happened since we moved. They just chant and shout and wave their little signs and banners for a an hour or two, then go home).  They don't use the swastika anymore, but they are the new Nazi's.

We saw this old man attack an islamic fellow on the bus.  He started beating the muslim dude with his cane and saying all sorts of insulting racists stuff.  America does not have a monopoly on white power racists.

---

In terms of education, the public school should be just as good as the private one (often, better)
The advantage of the private one seems to be that classes are in English.

Personally, I'd take the 5th grade repeat deal, with reviews that may get her to jump ship to 6th grade... so, ensure that she aces everything in 5th grade for the first few weeks and then... something cool may happen.
Can you ask them for the 6th grade curricula so that you may give her some pointers on what she'll be missing during the start of the year?

Thanks Poca, I think this is exactly what we will do.  They can't hand out their curricula, so we'll just have to see how it goes.

(I attended a private school from grades k-6, then public from 7-12, and both did fine by me.  Other's miles may vary).

I shouldn't bash public schools, but she did not have a good experience last year, or in American public schools for that matter, or I wouldn't have chosen to home school her.  But things have changed in America.  When I went to public school, it was still very education oriented, kids got individual attention.  I always actually love school.
Nowadays they really do force the teachers to teach to the test.  It's as destructive as can be.

[pocaracas]

I don't know what it's like in Germany, but if it's anything like Portugal, for each subject there is a base curriculum mandated by the ministry of education.
Schools must adhere to it, but may also add stuff on top. They can't remove anything, though.
May be worth some investigation.

[I_am_not_mafia]

Public school usually gets a bad reputation.  I'll leave it at that, because there are so many things I could state that I just don't want to right now.

Thing is that it's different in every country. Children start school at about the age of 7 or 8 in Germany (depending on your state), whereas in the UK it's the age of 4. I don't know what it is in the US. I think I was 5 when I started because I was born in September. My very first memory is from 2 1/2 years of age. But I had also gone to Kindergarten / nursery school from the age of 3.

When you were born makes a huge difference at this age. If the school year starts in September and you were born in September, you're almost a year older than other children in your class born in August. That's a big difference when your brain is still developing. Sport stars are predominantly born in September and October for this reason. They get the initial encouragement and confidence by being better at something than their peers because they were born 11 months earlier . The August babies are more likely to get discouraged because of their relatively poor performance. Maybe the German system takes this affect into account? I think Malcolm Gladwell talks about this in one of his books.

Personally, I'd take the 5th grade repeat deal, with reviews that may get her to jump ship to 6th grade... so, ensure that she aces everything in 5th grade for the first few weeks and then... something cool may happen.
Can you ask them for the 6th grade curricula so that you may give her some pointers on what she'll be missing during the start of the year?

She might start getting a sense of reward from achieving as opposed to struggling.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Probably not the best idea to criticize Germany while you're IN Germany. Poland tried that and look what happened.

Boru

I think you missed that the Nazi Party was dissolved after WWII.

Well, that's good news...no more Nazis in Germany or anywhere else. We have a completely Nazi-free world!  Eedjit.

Boru

[LostLocke]

I love how these people fly the US flag and the Confederate flag at the same time. Do they not realize that those are, literally, two different countries? The CSA was a foreign power residing on our soil. To me this would be like Americans in the late 1700s still flying a British flag, saying "Well, it's part of our heritage and history. What other flag should I be flying?"

[mlmooney89]

Oh darling I understand how hard it is to make this kind of choice for your daughter. Education is such a big deal and there is no perfect diagram that says public or private schools are better. It depends on the child and the specific schools. While she is young enough to learn another language "easier" than if she was an adult she is also older than the sweet age range of fluently learning more languages. I remember living in Germany when I was 3-6 but I was on a military post so while we went to a German school we had English speaking teachers. I did learn German but I doubt I could have been in a real German school fully immersed, that must be terrifying for your daughter. Please give her so many kudos from me that she went to one. Even just trying, and trying as hard as she did, is so brave. Tell her she did her part and she tried and her reward for trying so hard is for a more laid back year. Things are going to get hectic for her when she gets older so she can enjoy a bit more time being able to play and enjoy it. So what if she doesn't get fully challenged for one year of her life? She will get plenty of that over the coming years.

[Whateverist]

It isn't usually something I recommend but have you considered home schooling for the year? I suppose you could get some materials sent to you for the purpose? Not sure what other commitments you have going on that would make that hard to do but lots of people sure do it.

[Aroura]

It isn't usually something I recommend but have you considered home schooling for the year?  I suppose you could get some materials sent to you for the purpose?  Not sure what other commitments you have going on that would make that hard to do but lots of people sure do it.

I am comfortable home schooling ( I wasn't at first but became so with experience).  We did it quite successfully from 2nd through 4th.  She tested very well at the end of her 4th grade, the year before we moved here. She was reading at a 6th grade level 2 years ago, and her math was in the top 20%.  We got to do tons of fun projects at home, and used resources like Khan Academy to fill in where I was not comfortable.

Her only weak spot is writing (and spelling). We worked hard on her spelling and got it more on par, but her writing is still messy.  It's one of the reasons they are using to justify holding her back.  Which is super frustrating.  Kids mature differently with different subjects, and she is physically very uncoordinated, something I suspect she will suffer with for life. Neat and orderly writing simply will never be her strongest suit. But if she's at 6th grade or ABOVE in everything except one subject...meh  I need to let this go, lol.

However, homeschooling is illegal in Germany.      So it's all a pipe dream anyway.

---

Oh darling I understand how hard it is to make this kind of choice for your daughter. Education is such a big deal and there is no perfect diagram that says public or private schools are better. It depends on the child and the specific schools. While she is young enough to learn another language "easier" than if she was an adult she is also older than the sweet age range of fluently learning more languages. I remember living in Germany when I was 3-6 but I was on a military post so while we went to a German school we had English speaking teachers. I did learn German but I doubt I could have been in a real German school fully immersed, that must be terrifying for your daughter. Please give her so many kudos from me that she went to one. Even just trying, and trying as hard as she did, is so brave. Tell her she did her part and she tried and her reward for trying so hard is for a more laid back year. Things are going to get hectic for her when she gets older so she can enjoy a bit more time being able to play and enjoy it. So what if she doesn't get fully challenged for one year of her life? She will get plenty of that over the coming years.

Thanks so much Mooney, it means a lot to hear that, I really appreciate the kind words and will pass them on to her.  She really did try hard, we can't ask for more than that.