Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 26, 2024, 6:37 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
#41
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 16, 2018 at 5:54 am)Khemikal Wrote: If there is a hell, and some god to send you there, it's not as if there's anything you could do about it.  

I try not to spend time worrying about things I have no control over, on principle.

You can always bend your knees and praise Kim Jun God to avoid His just and holy wrath.
Reply
#42
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
Why would that work?  Do gods hand out golden tickets for kneeling or something? I'm told that the prison guard of a god in question requires belief and acceptance.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#43
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 16, 2018 at 10:10 am)Khemikal Wrote: Why would that work?  Do gods hand out golden tickets for kneeling or something?  I'm told that the prison guard of a god in question requires belief and acceptance.

Apparently, they do for altar boys.
Reply
#44
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 13, 2018 at 3:29 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: So I started studying the Bible, creation, evolution, science, cosmology, and I came to the conclusion that the evidence for evolution is just too great to be denied. I realized then that the Bible cannot be literal. My belief in God, at least the God of the Bible, started falling like a house of cards. All of this happened over a period of a few weeks. I became very depressed as I lost my delusion of being immortal seemingly overnight. I would never see my family, friends or pets after I died. My world view collapsed.
I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.
Reply
#45
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 16, 2018 at 10:50 am)SteveII Wrote:
(October 13, 2018 at 3:29 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: So I started studying the Bible, creation, evolution, science, cosmology, and I came to the conclusion that the evidence for evolution is just too great to be denied. I realized then that the Bible cannot be literal. My belief in God, at least the God of the Bible, started falling like a house of cards. All of this happened over a period of a few weeks. I became very depressed as I lost my delusion of being immortal seemingly overnight. I would never see my family, friends or pets after I died. My world view collapsed.
I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.

Sure, but the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Thus the various other versions insinuate themselves into everything. Those other versions are not really any different than YEC, they simply like to pretend they are. It's just that YEC is more vocal. OEC versions are equally as bovine, they just try to keep their heads below the parapet and sneak in the BS dishonestly.
Reply
#46
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 16, 2018 at 10:50 am)SteveII Wrote:
(October 13, 2018 at 3:29 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: So I started studying the Bible, creation, evolution, science, cosmology, and I came to the conclusion that the evidence for evolution is just too great to be denied. I realized then that the Bible cannot be literal. My belief in God, at least the God of the Bible, started falling like a house of cards. All of this happened over a period of a few weeks. I became very depressed as I lost my delusion of being immortal seemingly overnight. I would never see my family, friends or pets after I died. My world view collapsed.
I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.

You are only one short step away from claiming that "gawd" is the solution to all your problems. The only reason you are avoiding that is because you know it will not fly here on this site.
Reply
#47
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
I gave up on supernaturalism in my late 20s. I have a fear of death but not of hell. If you study the Bible, and are open to the critical approach, it completely falsifies itself as being inspired by some all-knowing divine being. The most difficult thing for me is the social aspect since many are still believers. If they are fundamentalists then it can be even worse. They tend to have a more black and white view of things. They often think that you're against them and can never have a truly fulfilling life unless you are a Christian.
Reply
#48
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 16, 2018 at 10:50 am)SteveII Wrote: I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.

Genesis is clearly a story (2, actually), but it provides the theological foundation for the gospels, and of revelation. 

If it is false, then we are not fallen creatures doomed to hell, that required a demigod to shed his own magic blood to fix.  If the Earth is old, then we Jesus isn't going to be "coming soon" to whisk away the faithful, and let the rest die in some sort of Ragnarok destruction of the Earth.

I applaud liberal Christians for throwing away things that no longer make sense to them.  However, I believe that fundamentalist Christians are more honest about the bible.  The bible does not allow liberal interpretation without becoming a shadow of itself, without meaning, purpose, or value.

I greatly dislike "holy books" of all kinds.  They attempt to codify the myths, culture, and power structure of a society.  Why should we try to be like the writers?  Why should we believe their myths?  Why should we even care about the heavens and hells they imagine for themselves?

It is interesting to read up on Buddhist hell.  I believe it was invented by the Buddhist priests, and has nothing to do with the teaching of Buddha.  If anyone is worried about the Christian hell for not believing in Jesus, why shouldn't they also be worried about the Buddhist hell?  It is much more specific about the torments, and you can't get out of it by believing in Jesus.

All hell ideas are stupid.
Reply
#49
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 15, 2018 at 12:00 am)Tres Leches Wrote:
(October 13, 2018 at 3:29 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: Hi, All, 

Most of the atheists I've met have been so for their entire lives, or at least since they were kids. I think those of us who leave religion in midlife or well into our adulthood have a different experience as we have a lifetime of conditioning to overcome. I'm really struggling, some days more than others. I hope you'll read the intro, but if you don't want to, please jump to the numbered list at the bottom. (thank you)


...I became the most reluctant atheist I can imagine. I did NOT set out to become an atheist, only to know what truth is, and that led to lack of evidence for Biblegod. 
It's always remarkable when I hear people say they've been atheist since a very, very young age like age 4 or in utero or something like that. Actually we're all atheist at birth. However, whether or not you follow religion at such a tender age is highly dependent on the beliefs of your family of origin. Whether a particular child is raised religiously or not is decided by that family, not by the child themselves. 
Very young children do not grasp the permanency of death, much less whether they should challenge their moms'/ dads' and societal beliefs in gods.
So people who drop religion and become atheist in middle age are much more common than you might think.

I don't have specific answers to your questions but I think dealing with your depression and anxiety in tandem with you grappling with atheism will help. And it sounds like you are on the right track and doing just that. As I said in your intro thread, you're gonna be ok! Keep asking questions - the beauty of atheism is you get to do that - and stay on track. Do keep us posted on how you're doing.

-Teresa

Yes, and I have OCD, so I do a lot of "what if?" thinking. That question of "what if I'm wrong?" is always there. I think that's a lot of the reason why I obsess over this subject of Hell. I know it doesn't exist, but it's really programmed in there. Thank you for the encouragement! I think I'm on track. Things are getting easier. There are good days and bad days, but I'm constantly learning. Thank you!

(October 15, 2018 at 2:39 pm)Abaddon_ire Wrote:
(October 14, 2018 at 6:44 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: I like the "wait just a damn minute..what?" method. You're right--it's worse with stress and illness. I think they who did this to me really believed what they taught. They are all victims themselves. Doesn't make it right, though. 
Stress and Illness are moments of vulnerability that the religious are quite happy to exploit. They sometimes do this in person, but more often by planting those seeds in your mind as a child.

Now, I have had my share of medical misadventures up to and including full on OOBE under anesthesia complete with tunnel and light. So I know it is a load of bollocks for a fact.

An OOBE as an atheist! I bet that would be fascinating to hear about. One of my best friends has written a book about near-death experiences. I'm not a believer, either. The brain is very powerful. 

(October 16, 2018 at 5:54 am)Khemikal Wrote: If there is a hell, and some god to send you there, it's not as if there's anything you could do about it.  

I try not to spend time worrying about things I have no control over, on principle.

I wish I were like that. I've always worried about (seemingly) everything. 

(October 16, 2018 at 10:50 am)SteveII Wrote:
(October 13, 2018 at 3:29 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: So I started studying the Bible, creation, evolution, science, cosmology, and I came to the conclusion that the evidence for evolution is just too great to be denied. I realized then that the Bible cannot be literal. My belief in God, at least the God of the Bible, started falling like a house of cards. All of this happened over a period of a few weeks. I became very depressed as I lost my delusion of being immortal seemingly overnight. I would never see my family, friends or pets after I died. My world view collapsed.
I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.

I've been thoroughly saturated in Christian doctrine, with Christian schools all the way through college. I disagree that YEC is a recent trend. A literal interpretation of the Bible has occurred since the Bible was written. My losing a literal interpretation of the Bible was merely the final straw. I can't believe Biblegod exists after reading the Bible. Everything falls apart if you lose the literal translation. You then have to pick and choose what God says and means, and that's all open to interpretation. Have you studied how the Bible was canonized? It was written over hundreds of years, and then religious leaders basically voted about what books to include in the Bible. If God wanted to give his Word that would be a Book to be followed, don't you think he could have done so in a way that is more reliable and authentic? 

(October 16, 2018 at 10:58 am)Abaddon_ire Wrote:
(October 16, 2018 at 10:50 am)SteveII Wrote: I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.

Sure, but the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Thus the various other versions insinuate themselves into everything. Those other versions are not really any different than YEC, they simply like to pretend they are. It's just that YEC is more vocal. OEC versions are equally as bovine, they just try to keep their heads below the parapet and sneak in the BS dishonestly.

(October 16, 2018 at 1:09 pm)Bahana Wrote: I gave up on supernaturalism in my late 20s. I have a fear of death but not of hell. If you study the Bible, and are open to the critical approach, it completely falsifies itself  as being inspired by some all-knowing divine being. The most difficult thing for me is the social aspect since many are still believers. If they are fundamentalists then it can be even worse. They tend to have a more black and white view of things. They often think that  you're against them and can never have a truly fulfilling life unless you are a Christian.

Yes, that's the kind of fundamentalism I was raised in. I struggle not to take a black-and-white view of things. I also don't know how to think critically. That was never taught in school or they'd lose LOTS of kids to reason. An atheist at the last Skeptics meeting I went to sold me a great book that includes a good deal of instruction in how to think critically, and I'm working my way through it (The Skeptics Guide to the Universe). 

(October 16, 2018 at 6:21 pm)HappySkeptic Wrote:
(October 16, 2018 at 10:50 am)SteveII Wrote: I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.

Genesis is clearly a story (2, actually), but it provides the theological foundation for the gospels, and of revelation. 

If it is false, then we are not fallen creatures doomed to hell, that required a demigod to shed his own magic blood to fix.  If the Earth is old, then we Jesus isn't going to be "coming soon" to whisk away the faithful, and let the rest die in some sort of Ragnarok destruction of the Earth.

I applaud liberal Christians for throwing away things that no longer make sense to them.  However, I believe that fundamentalist Christians are more honest about the bible.  The bible does not allow liberal interpretation without becoming a shadow of itself, without meaning, purpose, or value.

I greatly dislike "holy books" of all kinds.  They attempt to codify the myths, culture, and power structure of a society.  Why should we try to be like the writers?  Why should we believe their myths?  Why should we even care about the heavens and hells they imagine for themselves?

It is interesting to read up on Buddhist hell.  I believe it was invented by the Buddhist priests, and has nothing to do with the teaching of Buddha.  If anyone is worried about the Christian hell for not believing in Jesus, why shouldn't they also be worried about the Buddhist hell?  It is much more specific about the torments, and you can't get out of it by believing in Jesus.

All hell ideas are stupid.

I never knew there was a Buddhist hell! It seems Tibetan Buddhism is much different than Zen Buddhism in the West. Yes, my boyfriend who happens to be an atheist has said that "You know why hell is the most horrific thing imaginable? It's because it's the worst thing that can be imagined!" That one kind of struck me. It's really true. If getting eaten alive by piranhas and drowning were the worst things that could be imagined, that would be hell.
I said to the sun, tell me about the Big Bang.
The sun said, 'It hurts to become.'

~Andrea Gibson
Reply
#50
RE: IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?
(October 16, 2018 at 10:50 am)SteveII Wrote:
(October 13, 2018 at 3:29 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: So I started studying the Bible, creation, evolution, science, cosmology, and I came to the conclusion that the evidence for evolution is just too great to be denied. I realized then that the Bible cannot be literal. My belief in God, at least the God of the Bible, started falling like a house of cards. All of this happened over a period of a few weeks. I became very depressed as I lost my delusion of being immortal seemingly overnight. I would never see my family, friends or pets after I died. My world view collapsed.
I'm sure you are wrestling with all this and I hope you find a way through it. However, I do want to point out that Young Earth Creationism (YEC) is a rather recent trend. Most Christian thinkers do not take the first chapters of Genesis literally. If that is what brought down your "house of cards", you are not well versed in broader Christian doctrine. Just saying.


I agree that criticism of Christianity based on the worst interpretation of just a few passages of the bible is not a good basis for deciding much of anything. On the other hand, just how other passages are selected to be interpreted literally and as providing clear direction for all Christendom is quite mysterious to me.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Did anyone else get deconverted by a single sentence? Astonished 67 9084 July 20, 2023 at 4:29 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  Husband Deconverted!! mlmooney89 39 4567 August 3, 2019 at 8:51 pm
Last Post: mlmooney89
  How did u feel when you deconverted? Lebneni Murtad 32 5030 October 27, 2018 at 10:29 am
Last Post: GrandizerII
  Has anyone here deconverted because of AF? Jehanne 21 4150 July 20, 2018 at 4:30 pm
Last Post: Divinity
  What can we do to promote Atheism? How can we unite? shadowninjax 93 34686 November 20, 2013 at 11:08 am
Last Post: thesummerqueen
  Study says coming out as atheist can help reduce prejudice towards atheists TaraJo 20 8459 February 2, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Last Post: festive1



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)