The Curious Case of Missing Me

[Ashendant]

I can't speak for meatball, but IMO it is always better to have tried and failed then to have never tried. I apply it to everything because we don't really learn from our successes nearly as much as our failures. I guess it depends on your perspective but I've always seen longing for something without action is far more detrimental than trying something you've always wanted and failing, especially with something as integral, rewarding and foundational to the human condition as relationships.

Meh sometimes trying is not worth it at all, we can build experiences, but because we're sapient we can learn from other's experiences, of course i'm not particularly talking about love, but for example i just sweared to myself that i would never take a drug, drink alcohol or smoke tobacco, i know from other's experiences and examination that will be addictive and bad for me.

[Edwardo Piet]

Trying to love is pretty worthless, sugar. The best loves are the ones that fall into your lap accidentally, like finding a Golden Ticket, or the kinds that suddenly flower where you didn't realize the potential was there. Even if you're lonely in the meantime.

I have absolutely ZERO experience on the issue....

But I bet I'm fucking right if I respond to you by saying: "It depends".

[tackattack]

Well all in all agree that the best loves aren't the ones sought for but "happen by chance" if you believe in that thing. I had been searching for "the one" and failed miserably, it's when I gave up on women that the next day my wife just fell into my life out of the blue and every day I'm thankful for that. The trying comes when you take the risk or the "leap of faith". Also trying implies effort which is what Love required. It's not like the movies where everyone loves at first sight and every aspect of their life is universally compatible. Love is work and IMO is definitely worth it and if my wife left me tomorrow or betrayed my trust all of it would have been worth it, but for now it just keeps getting better soon to be 10 yrs and counting. Longing or searching is an experience but like I said I think it's more detrimental. If you satisfied with who and where you are (longing for little) and happy with yourself (self-assured), and you're willing to take the leap (open to opportunity) if some opportunity comes your way (taking in life with both eyes), I think that you'd be a prime candidate for a happy and well satisfied life.

[Ace Otana]

And just now I thought I'd head back here to see to see what you skeptical bastards are up to.

You are all too thoughtful.

I know what it's like to have someone just leave you for someone else. The best advice I ever got in feeling better was to make a success of myself. The best revenge is success. If she caught you going by and doing far better, the tables are likely to turn. when a bitch called Jessica starting playing happy family with other men, I sent a message telling her that I don't want any involvement, ever. She blocked me and I'm not bothered one bit. She was a waste of space. Days after the block, I bought new clothes, grew my hair, worked out even more (getting some good results) and really did alot in improving my looks. The next thing I did was spend time with family and friends and having a good laugh. I used that block as a driving force to do better. Her sister spotted me in my new look and my brighter look on life. In seconds she was on her mobile to Jess. Felt bloody good. Couldn't stop smiling. When someone kicks you down, get straight back up and do better and climb higher. Success is the best form of revenge.
Because it makes you feel great and your ex feel bloody jealous.

Glad your back mate!

[thesummerqueen]

I'm sure depending on what was on your mind, Evie, you are right. As is Tack. What I meant was that I've been through, and then baby-sat close friends through, the experience of "trying" to love someone solely because they were lonely and wanted a companion.

It's hard to be alone. It's terrifying, and worse you can't escape people's pity. But it's much better to spend your energy on something special than continue a relationship that was flawed to begin with or started out simply because you didn't want to be alone. That was all I meant.

Love IS work - friend love or romantic love both. But I think you'll agree with me that the ones that develop naturally don't require "trying" when it comes to feelings. You just DO.

[Edwardo Piet]

Being alone is something I've rarely had....... but when I've had it I've loved it.

If I had it all the time though...... maybe I'd hate it. Although, maybe not.

[Dotard]

All that over some woman. *sigh*


I can't relate. Whenever any 'relationship' with them ends, my reaction is a bit more like this;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhMRXjGn0...re=related


I never understood how a dude could get all depressive over not having some "Slot B" in their lives.

I see it most often with friends and family. Separations occur, dude gets all clingy to his friends and brothers, constantly calling wanting to 'hang out', residence gets bare, porn collections increase... etc etc....

I guess I'm the 'odd-ball out' as I can't relate nor understand this "panging" that I see and hear about so often. And I really don't get the reason you would be getting upset because she snagged another relationship (or dick to suck) within a couple few days. That's just the nature of the bitch. It's like you getting upset that a scorpion would sting the frog who was only trying to help him across the pond.

It's just the nature of the beast.

[thesummerqueen]

It's not like you men don't screw us up in the head either, sugar.

[Dotard]

It's hard to be alone. It's terrifying,

Bullshit. I would say it is easier to be alone and no where near 'terrifying'. Well, maybe for emotionally weak people, but definately not everybody.

---

It's not like you men don't screw us up in the head either, sugar.

That horse is already dead. Coming along and shooting it isn't gonna make it any deader.

That well is already dry. Looking to see if there is any water in there was not the cause of it drying up.

That chick is already fat. Me offering her a piece of candy was not the cause of her obesity.

(I bet I could do these all day!)

That bowl is already full of water. Setting it out in the rain ain't gonna make it any fuller.

[thesummerqueen]

[shrugs] you have your opinion based on your experience. I don't purposely fuck ANYONE over, much as I joke, and I actively avoid doing it accidentally (I don't always succeed, sure). Just attempting to add a little fairness. Not all of us are a basket of crazy. I'm a big believer in friends-with-benefits instead of starting up some meaningless relationship where you waste time, energy, and money just to get your kicks, all to end up in a hot mess just because some women need the title of "relationship" tacked on to make themselves feel better.

And maybe you enjoy being alone, and I certainly would rather be so than waste time on a schmuck who isn't worth it, but plenty of people find the idea of being companionless to be scary. I didn't say it was right, it's just what happens. Even worse, if you are a solitary person (or at least solitary woman) you run the risk of getting ridicule from the general public because you "can't get a man" to escort you wherever you are. I'm not trying to pull an Eil here about how hard it is to be a woman, I'm just pointing out the things some people (including myself) go through. It gets as fucktarded as a man approaching me at a self-serve carwash and telling me my time ought to be spent finding a man to do that for me. Washing a car. Seriously. Don't even get me started on the crap you get for going to a restaurant or movies alone.

Some people find it daunting to not have companionship, and some people are scared of how society is going to perceive them if they present themselves as single. Like they're not good enough to have caught someone. It's a self-esteem issue.

Me personally, I think every relationship causes you to wade through bullshit - the difference is finding someone who's going to help you shovel it rather than just scattering it around. Save your energies for that person. Even better if they're talented enough to help you turn it into useful compost.