I Don't Care

[I_am_not_mafia]

Mostly I giggle. I don't understand how anyone can feel butthurt in these discussions. I used to have a woman who stalked me from forum to forum, dropping info bombs about my transgendered history. She did it to me hundreds of times before I finally said anything about it. She intended for it to be 'devastating' to me. But it really wasn't the devastating attack that she kept imagining that it would be. Mathilda tried a variation of that attack recently. As a transsexual, I've dealt with my share of stalkers. Internet bombs are pretty light artillery.

Fuck you. I was attacking you for something despicable that you said which triggered me. And you don't even know what it is because you have internalised the misogyny and transphobia and now believe it to be true.

I stopped responding to that thread when I realised just how damaged you are as a human being.

---

I don't think that's obvious at all. I mean, you obviously hate women for some reason or another. I suspect it has to do with your mother, but that's neither here nor there.

What is the basis for your suspicion about my mother?

Because you perceived her greatest love was given to you when you pretended to be something that you couldn't ever be?

Why is my proudest memory from childhood the way that my mother doted over me and was so proud of me when I put myself between danger and my older sister? My father just nodded at me curtly. But my mother was so freaking proud. And don't get me wrong; I really loved her for that. It's hard to be a big, strong, brave man if your mother isn't proud of you.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Sorry, what?

Boru

 Her name was Lola, from Copacabana, the hottest spot north of Havana...



Sorry, I should have hidden that under a 'not safe for those with a full stomach' tag.

Oh, that.  Yeah, I'm vaguely aware of Barry Manilow, but I wasn't thinking of that when I posted.  I actually had in mind Lola Bunny from Space Jam.  Only because I picture Yonadav as a sexy female rabbit who drives men mad with desire.

Boru

[Little lunch]

Call me a racist at the drop of a hat. Eventually, I don't care about being called a racist.
Call me a misogynist at the drop of a hat. Eventually, I don't care about being called a misogynist.
I don't care. More and more people don't care. Eventually, who cares?
You didn't want to talk honestly. You wanted to slander. Slander turns stale. Then no one cares.
Some people are really racists. I would have loved to help you with that. But I no longer care.
Some people are really misogynists. I don't care.
I don't care any more.

Maybe I missed something, but I wasn't under the impression that you were a racist or a misogynist.
I do think you can be quite rude though.

One thing I'm seeing here quite often is people asking questions of others and then using that information as ammunition, and then a whole lot of people jumping on that band wagon.
It seems that when you're new here, one or two sentences taken the wrong way can destroy you.
I believe people are more multifaceted than that.

[LastPoet]

"The enemy sir? I have bigger worries like kelp, barnacles and... and... My mother!"

[Silver]

I don't care any more.

Good on you.

[bennyboy]

Yonadav, what kind of trans are you? I assumed you were male / male based on your user image.

[Yonadav]

Call me a racist at the drop of a hat. Eventually, I don't care about being called a racist.
Call me a misogynist at the drop of a hat. Eventually, I don't care about being called a misogynist.
I don't care. More and more people don't care. Eventually, who cares?
You didn't want to talk honestly. You wanted to slander. Slander turns stale. Then no one cares.
Some people are really racists. I would have loved to help you with that. But I no longer care.
Some people are really misogynists. I don't care.
I don't care any more.

Maybe I missed something, but I wasn't under the impression that you were a racist or a misogynist.
I do think you can be quite rude though.

One thing I'm seeing here quite often is people asking questions of others and then using that information as ammunition, and then a whole lot of people jumping on that band wagon.
It seems that when you're new here, one or two sentences taken the wrong way can destroy you.
I believe people are more multifaceted than that.

I'm a misogynist for a few reasons. I have pointed out that women can say disparaging things about men all day long, and if any man should happen to object then he is a whiner and possibly a misogynist. But of a man says anything critical about any woman, women, or women in general then he is so totally a misogynist. I have also pointed out that men are required to treat everything that a woman says as if it is intelligent. He can tell men how stupid he thinks the things that they say are, all that he wants. But if he tells one woman that what she's saying is stupid, that woman will call him a misogynist. And her friends will probably gang up on him to. Men have thick skins, despite the constant talk of 'the fragile male ego'. It is women who have very fragile egos. Everyone, everywhere knows that this is true. Constantly being dumped on is something that men are expected to accept. It's part of being a strong man. I have argued that women can never really feel equal to men unless they give up being entitled to belittle men.

I am a racist because I don't feel white guilt. I refuse to be a self loathing white guy, and I am frequently critical of self loathing white guys. I think that it is wrong that black men are more likely to be shot by police. I think that it is wrong that black people tend to receive longer prison sentences than whites for the same crimes. I think that it is wrong that black people are less likely to to be hired by employers. But I am not self loathing. And I am actually pretty proud of the achievements of western culture, despite the fact that we made some horrible mistakes along the way and continue to be far less than perfect. We didn't invent slavery. Every race has practiced slavery. Whites and blacks both practiced slavery. So I don't feel especially responsible for slavery because of the color of my skin.

Many people here are not capable of close or critical reading. I am very interested in the ways that communication fails. I recently wrote that one of my greatest sources of pride was my mother's pride in me. You might think that it would be impossible to be called a misogynist for writing such a thing. But what you write has almost no relation to what a person reads, if they read through the lens of their preconceptions and misconceptions about the writer or the subject material. This sort of distortion is what interests me most in these discussions.

[tackattack]

I think it’s better not to care about other people’s base reactions and care more about their thoughts and intent. Throwing the baby with the bath water smacks of waste and unresolved issues. If you don’t care it’s easier to analyze a situation and manipulate it towards your goal. Some would say that’s sociopathic though. I don’t think a normalized person could divorce themselves from emotion entirely. Because at its simplest element caring is one of the easiest ways to shape and focus will into action.

I think that your analogy about throwing out the baby with the bathwater is backwards. The baby gets thrown out with the bathwater over, and over, and over, and finally you just stop caring.

I'm not arguing that it's not a loop, or that it's not desensitizing. I'm simple positing that emotions are a driving force for good and bad actions that can't be easily divorced from cause. When we want something and are excited about it, it is a positive loop reinforcing our creativity and investment in a topic. When we are pessimistic (or less feeling than we once were) about something, we are more apathetic,which could feed a negative feedback loop. ie. This jerk always does x and he'll never change, I don't care about his opinion anymore. When you could be excited that This jerk always does x, but didn't this time, I wonder if he has a new insight I might learn from.

Caring, or feeling emotion about something, engages an emotive amplifier to our feedback loops. A more apathetic approach might prevent us from spiraling down on a topic, but it also prevents us from acting positively about a subject. If you're more apathetic about certain topics, I'm advising you should identify why it doesn't interest you anymore (assuming it did once). If it's not an effective use of your time and energies without the emotive amplifier, then don't waste your time discussing it, that's being a good steward of your energies. If it's because you have unresolved bias issues, communication issues, repressed emotions it's not. Jung always believed they will bite you in the ass eventually.

As far as your recent discussion on bias, you can't destroy someone's framework. While you're working on your own Johari window realize that "the other" category is populated with people that are looking through the tint of their own glass. Sometimes it's good to get a completely different tinted input, it's one of the reasons that I'm here. It helps me learn to communicate better. Much like women and men speak different languages, different ideologues speak and see through different tinted windows. Just try a different tack to get your points across if you want to.

[Shell B]

I was under the impression that thought vomit threads are welcome here.

Guess it depends on who you are.  shrug

Was he told it was unwelcome?

[Shell B]

I don't think that's obvious at all. I mean, you obviously hate women for some reason or another. I suspect it has to do with your mother, but that's neither here nor there.

What is the basis for your suspicion about my mother?

Freud.