I Don't Care

[Belacqua]

Saying to someone who you have never engaged with before (me), “I guess that’s your metaphysical commitment”, is simply calling that person closed minded using bigger words.

Everybody has metaphysical commitments. I had no idea you would interpret this as calling you closed-minded.

[Amarok]

Everybody has metaphysical commitments. I had no idea you would interpret this as calling you closed-minded.

So more of the same from you 

[bennyboy]

Hmmmm.

I don't want to take a position on the various people currently talking about language, but let me say this: I don't think that fighting back, including swearing, is the same as deeply dehumanizing language. People swear-- it's a way to show emphasis to the negative feelings they have in a situation-- without dehumanizing someone, and certainly it's more than possible to dehumanize without swearing.

I'm not so much against word choice as against truly malicious intent-- a clear desire to do emotional harm to someone you dislike.

For me, just getting mad in a discussion and saying "Fuck you man, you're a real asshole" isn't that bad. But a systematic attempt to hurt is.

I can give you an example-- in my thread about rage, I described an incident from about 10 years ago. My intent was to show one case in which rage was fairly functional (it aided me in a real confrontation with another man who was threatening me), and one case in which is was dysfunctional (it was a very unpleasant moment with a loved family member). Since then, at least one member has repeatedly called me a wife / child abuser, a monster, a manipulative asshole, kept saying how unlucky my family is to have me a part of it and so on. This is not just someone venting in the moment-- I believe there's a real intent to do emotional harm, there. You guys can weigh in on whether I'm right about that-- but certainly, it's not something I've ever done or would do to anyone else in these forums, and I don't feel I deserve to be the target of that kind of behavior.


As for Yonadav-- it's easy to look at this thread and see that Yondadav was tilted. Without any context, just this thread alone would put him pretty obviously in the wrong. But I'm willing to bet I could find posts where he was trying to engage sincerely in some issue, and where there was some real asymmetric toxicity that eventually set him off.

I think what it is is that he was venting conservative views in this predominantly progressive social context, and that this is interpreted as an attack, and the response is to attack back. I think it's very much tribal. I don't think I ever really saw him attack an individual member in the way that he was the target of personal attack-- though given some of his positions, I have to imagine he knew what was likely to come.

[The Grand Nudger]

Conservative views?  Oh heavens no!  He was a True Liberal™....complaining about the libtards, member?

[bennyboy]

Conservative views?  Oh heavens no!  He was a True Liberal™....complaining about the libtards, member?

Yeah, I gotta say that if you use the word "libtard" around here, you'd better have on your tap-dancing shoes. You're unlikely to be showered with love an affection at that point.

[Amarok]

Yeah, I gotta say that if you use the word "libtard" around here, you better have on your tap-dancing shoes!

And frequently used other Conservative buzzwords

[bennyboy]

Yeah, I gotta say that if you use the word "libtard" around here, you better have on your tap-dancing shoes!

And frequently used other Conservative buzzwords

No doubt.

[LadyForCamus]

Saying to someone who you have never engaged with before (me), “I guess that’s your metaphysical commitment”, is simply calling that person closed minded using bigger words.

Everybody has metaphysical commitments. I had no idea you would interpret this as calling you closed-minded.

I did. If you didn’t mean it that way, then I apologize for misunderstanding you.

[Alan V]

Conservative views?  Oh heavens no!  He was a True Liberal™....complaining about the libtards, member?

He complained about "illiberals" a lot -- people who said they were liberal but were intolerant of many different points of view.  I guess he was referring to extreme political correctness, or people trying to be polite to each other or something.  I wasn't quite sure.

I thought of that as mind-reading too.

[Athene]

Hmmmm.

I don't want to take a position on the various people currently talking about language, but let me say this: I don't think that fighting back, including swearing, is the same as deeply dehumanizing language.  People swear-- it's a way to show emphasis to the negative feelings they have in a situation-- without dehumanizing someone, and certainly it's more than possible to dehumanize without swearing.

I'm not so much against word choice as against truly malicious intent-- a clear desire to do emotional harm to someone you dislike.

For me, just getting mad in a discussion and saying "Fuck you man, you're a real asshole" isn't that bad.  But a systematic attempt to hurt is.

I can give you an example-- in my thread about rage, I described an incident from about 10 years ago.  My intent was to show one case in which rage was fairly functional (it aided me in a real confrontation with another man who was threatening me), and one case in which is was dysfunctional (it was a very unpleasant moment with a loved family member).  Since then, at least one member has repeatedly called me a wife / child abuser, a monster, a manipulative asshole, kept saying how unlucky my family is to have me a part of it and so on.  This is not just someone venting in the moment-- I believe there's a real intent to do emotional harm, there.  You guys can weigh in on whether I'm right about that-- but certainly, it's not something I've ever done or would do to anyone else in these forums, and I don't feel I deserve to be the target of that kind of behavior.

Well, I never called you a child or wife abuser, actually. Or an asshole. 

I did indeed express sympathy for them because your a self-professed violent powder keg, who refuses to seek professional intervention.
You made several posts and an entire thread that based on the premise that you should be able to terrorize/attack your family and others without being made to "feel bad" about it, OR ELSE you will terrorize/attack others much worse (land later stating that denying you this unique privilege could eventually drive you to hurt/kill yourself.) That your rage, aka "the rage of man" was natural, yet any anger demonstrated by those you victimize or who criticize you is egregiously immoral, and basically akin to a hate crime.

Emotional blackmail at it's finest.

Yes, I do think your're a manipulative monster and quite full of shit.