So that happened . . .

[Brian37]

We could go the color joke route here.

The Patriots are the red white and blue. But the Steeler's are "Killer Bees".

And the Sacramento Bees are just losers.

Ok, I got it, you hate journalists. You are glad that Putin and the Saudi Prince murder reporters.. And to think I trusted you to get me home from a hurricane.

I bet you hate spelling bees too!

---

Use "Covfefe" in a sentence.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

And the Sacramento Bees are just losers.

Ok, I got it, you hate journalists. You are glad that Putin and the Saudi Prince murder reporters.. And to think I trusted you to get me home from a hurricane.

I bet you hate spelling bees too!

---

Use "Covfefe" in a sentence.

I hate smelling bees. They make me sneeze.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

This is moderately humiliating, buy I'm going to tell it anyway.

Three years ago, we bought our first riding lawn mower.  Never having owned one before, I was a good little slave to the owner's handbook and did everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - it said to do: changed the oil after the first ten hours, cleaned the air and petrol filters - all of it.

At the end of the first season, it was recommended to change the blades and check the belt for wear.  Playing it safe, I ordered new blades and a new belt. Even bought this special clamp thingy to help take the blades off.

So...remove all the bolts and pins holding the deck on. Remove the old belt. Remove the drive cable. Drag the deck out and flip it over.  Clean the underside of the deck.  Put the new blades on, reinstall the belt, reconnect the drive cable, put the deck the deck back on.  I accomplished all of this with a minimum of injury and a maximum amount of bad language. Drive the mover back into the shed to store it for winter and found...

---

...the new blades I had ordered, sitting on a workbench, still in their packaging.

---

Boru

[Brian37]

""With a minimum of injury and a maximum amount of bad language."

You are a better man than me.... I would be both maximum injury and "bad language."

[Nakara]

When I was a kid I got off the bus and on the way home saw a hibiscus bush with beautiful white flowers with a red center. I went to go pick one for my mom.

I stepped ankle deep into a fire ant mound.

It was bad. Very very bad.

[Brian37]

I was in grade school, private school. My mom back in the 70s took me to a "nature film"  documentary. In it I saw a fawn being born from a deer. But the shot was profile. Meaning I could not see that there was an ass and a vagina. So when I saw the fawn being born profile I falsely thought it was coming out of the ass, not the vagina.

So that very Monday after seeing this nature documentary, I was on the school bus, I decided to brag about my new found knowledge of where I thought babies came from. Needless to say the entire bus of kids laughed at me, and even the bus driver had to correct me.

[Shell B]

I was in a road rage incident once with a few friends of mine. This lady pulled in front of us, stopped her car and FLIPPED out because she really didn't understand how two lanes merge. In the meantime, she'd taken her keys out of her car, locking her baby inside. Bahaha

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"Get the fuck out of my way" is taught in high school driver's ed., I think.

[brewer]

Randy Carson curse?

[Anomalocaris]

And you wonder why I am for gun safety?

Oh, please! The adults gave the child a gun and ammo and sent him off unsupervised to shoot play with the neighbor kids. Nothing bad has ever happened in that scenario.  

Hey, the adults could have given the child alcohol at the same time, but didn’t.  So what are you complaining about?