The Philippines. What would you do?

[Cod]

I think a plane crash is the least of your worries. There are going to be situations in the future when you will have to maintain self control, stuff happens, and you don't have to be on holiday in the Philippines for stuff to happen.

[EgoDeath]

I wouldn't respect her if she didn't at least think about me of cheating on her in this situation.

Maybe that's valid. But she it didn't just cross her mind... it crossed her mind, and then she actually brought it up to you. And now you're not going...

She would have to be insanely naive not to.   I planned the trip out as a single, sexually active man, going to a country notorious for westerners like myself going and picking up women.  Not only that but my locations were to cities and areas specifically for that.  The original hotel I booked was in an actual red light district.  

Okay... Back up a second. You said:

I don't want to cheat and in my mind I've re framed the whole trip as being a three week kind of rehab for me. Get away from the horrible wet British weather, get some good sleep which I don't while I'm in work, eat healthy, go hiking, swimming, jogging on the beach and so on.

You said this in your first post. It sounds like this was going to be a good trip for you, whether or not sex was on the menu. And didn't you say the ticket was nonrefundable? So you cancelled a nonrefundable trip because your "girlfriend" of three months brought up concerns about you cheating? Wow... okay.

I wasn't going there specifically for prostitutes but my plan was that if all else fails at least I could pick one up if I wanted to.  This was as a single man. 

But anyway, the decision to go or not to go and the talk of cheating and infidelity was all a convo I was having with myself and thinking about myself.  I decided not to go now just because I realized I don't want to go without sex for 3 weeks that would kill me and also cheating on my girlfriend would kill me too. 

She was doing lots to encourage me to go because she would have felt guilty about stopping me, things have worked out alright now because we're both going together on a shorter trip to Cyprus if all goes according to plan, she re arranged her time off work to be when I'm off work.

Things have been going so well with this woman, I've just celebrated my birthday with her and had the best time with her and she got me the best gifts I've ever been given, I fully expect something tragic to happen. Maybe the plane will crash.

Okay... dude... wow. Look. You cancelled a three week, nonrefundable trip that you'd had planned for... how long? All because your insecure girlfriend brought up that she thought you might cheat on her because you'd be apart for three weeks?

Are you color blind or just willfully ignoring the red flags?

Talk of infidelity should not be coming up in a three month long relationship because you're going away for a couple of weeks. And are you really worried about not having sex for that long? You know there's like billions of hours of pornography on the internet, right?

This is not a great situation dude, and you're just refusing to look at it for what it is.

But okay. It's your life man. I have no dog in this fight. Good luck.

[Little lunch]

Careful EgoDeath, you're starting to sound like your Life coach. :-)

[paulpablo]

I wouldn't respect her if she didn't at least think about me of cheating on her in this situation.

Maybe that's valid. But she it didn't just cross her mind... it crossed her mind, and then she actually brought it up to you. And now you're not going...

She would have to be insanely naive not to.   I planned the trip out as a single, sexually active man, going to a country notorious for westerners like myself going and picking up women.  Not only that but my locations were to cities and areas specifically for that.  The original hotel I booked was in an actual red light district.  

Okay... Back up a second. You said:

I don't want to cheat and in my mind I've re framed the whole trip as being a three week kind of rehab for me. Get away from the horrible wet British weather, get some good sleep which I don't while I'm in work, eat healthy, go hiking, swimming, jogging on the beach and so on.

You said this in your first post. It sounds like this was going to be a good trip for you, whether or not sex was on the menu. And didn't you say the ticket was nonrefundable? So you cancelled a nonrefundable trip because your "girlfriend" of three months brought up concerns about you cheating? Wow... okay.

I wasn't going there specifically for prostitutes but my plan was that if all else fails at least I could pick one up if I wanted to.  This was as a single man. 

But anyway, the decision to go or not to go and the talk of cheating and infidelity was all a convo I was having with myself and thinking about myself.  I decided not to go now just because I realized I don't want to go without sex for 3 weeks that would kill me and also cheating on my girlfriend would kill me too. 

She was doing lots to encourage me to go because she would have felt guilty about stopping me, things have worked out alright now because we're both going together on a shorter trip to Cyprus if all goes according to plan, she re arranged her time off work to be when I'm off work.

Things have been going so well with this woman, I've just celebrated my birthday with her and had the best time with her and she got me the best gifts I've ever been given, I fully expect something tragic to happen. Maybe the plane will crash.

Okay... dude... wow. Look. You cancelled a three week, nonrefundable trip that you'd had planned for... how long? All because your insecure girlfriend brought up that she thought you might cheat on her because you'd be apart for three weeks?

Are you color blind or just willfully ignoring the red flags?

Talk of infidelity should not be coming up in a three month long relationship because you're going away for a couple of weeks. And are you really worried about not having sex for that long? You know there's like billions of hours of pornography on the internet, right?

This is not a great situation dude, and you're just refusing to look at it for what it is.

But okay. It's your life man. I have no dog in this fight. Good luck.

No she said she believed I wouldn't cheat on her after a while of taking about it. Me not going is my choice, based on I think I'll have a better time.

---

I think a plane crash is the least of your worries. There are going to be situations in the future when you will have to maintain self control, stuff happens, and you don't have to be on holiday in the Philippines for stuff to happen.

That's true but in my life of being a non celebrity with about average good looks I can't imagine I'll need to ever maintain as much self control as I would for 3 weeks in the Philippines. Women don't just randomly approach me at the gym, at work or on the streets. Most of my life is spent with family, at work, or with my girlfriend. I'm pretty happy with that set up too.

[EgoDeath]

Careful EgoDeath, you're starting to sound like your Life coach. :-)

I don't make enough money to pay for a life coach.... YET. DUN DUN DUN.....





But, in all seriousness, I think there are a couple of red flags popping up that he should be taking note of. But hey, it's not my relationship. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the dynamic between them.

No she said she believed I wouldn't cheat on her after a while of taking about it. Me not going is my choice, based on I think I'll have a better time.

Like I said, I have no dog in this fight. Just tryin' to help you out. You know the relationship far better than I, obviously. I'm just telling you that I don't think talk of concerns about cheating should be coming up that early on. They really shouldn't be coming up at all, but I suppose it's natural to worry about it. It's just strange to me that she even brought up because you planned to go on a trip that was previously paid for. If she's mentioned it this early because of a three week vacation, chances are it's going to come up again and again. However, I suppose it's good that she feels comfortable expressing herself to you, but if she already doesn't trust you, why are you two together? You shouldn't have even had to talk her down in the first place.

Then again, life is messy. As are the relationships we have within life. So, do you man.