You might be a douchebag...

[Dotard]

If you take a light-hearted joke thread and turn it into something it was clearly not meant to be......



...you might be a douchebag.


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And how did Douchebag become to describe a contemptible person? Douchebags cleanse away odor causing bacterias making vaginas fresh and clean. How the hell did it morph into a negative insulting slang word?

Really. I would be happy to be a vagina cleaner. Spreading freshness, helping blind men to stop greeting fish markets with a "Hello Ladies." when he passes by.

Might be a douchebag? Hell, sign me up!

[Rhizomorph13]

...if you drive under the speed limit in the fast lane to avoid dealing with merging traffic.

...if you think "alternative" was ever a viable description for a specific kind of music.

...if you stop five cars right behind you to let one car out of a parking lot.

This thread is going to change lives!

[fr0d0]

..if you're so anal you can't accept a little deviation now and then (!)

[theVOID]

You wear cargo pants with nothing in the pockets...

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

You wear cargo pants with nothing in the pockets...

Are a complete stranger and say "G'day Tex" because I'm wearing my black Akubra.

You use a cell phone within my hearing

Live in the suburbs,own and drive a 4x4.

You knock on my door;

9 am on a Sunday for any reason except to tell me( 1)my dogs are out or (2) my house is on fire.

I'm at a party,don't know you and you say to me "have you heard the good news?" If the good news is not (1)
hot free donuts or(2) "you have won $15 million on Cross Lotto," I may say something unkind.


0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Me and my Black Akubra: (xmas day2009)

[theVOID]

I'd tap that ^^^

[Dotard]

...if you drive under the speed limit in the fast lane to avoid dealing with merging traffic.

Oh go around. I'm within the legal posted limit. If I am avoiding the merging traffic in that lane then so be it. I paid for that lane just as much as you did.
Irks me that folks who want to drive over the posted speed limit think everyone should just be moving out of their way.

...if you stop five cars right behind you to let one car out of a parking lot.

'Cause I know none of you sorry S.O.Bs are gonna let the poor old guy out. Shit, I've been watching him sit there thru three light changes because no one had the curtisy to let him out. You can drive all grumpy and road raged if you wish. I just caused an old man to smile and, maybe, just maybe, renewed his hope for mankind. AND he just made my day 'cause I got a smile, a wave and appreciation for my kindness.

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Crocodile Dundy, the latter years.

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I'd tap that ^^^

Wait, what? You'd tap Pad?!

[theVOID]

I didn't think [/sarcasm] was necessary...

[Minimalist]

Nice hat.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Crocodile Dundy, the latter years. Smile

Very fucking funny. As it turns out,Paul Hogan (Mick Dundee) is elderly, (born 8 Oct 1939) whereas I am simply mature.

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Nice hat.

Thank you; THAT'S my Akubra. It was my Xmas present to me,in 2008. Always wanted one. I think I look both effluent and extinguished.