Being an Atheist Father

[vdubmechanic]

New entry to my blog. Sorry it has taken me so long to write. My arthritis has been flaring up making it difficult to do so. Let me know what you think! Thanks! Oh and out of all the forums I'm a regular member of, atheistforums.org has been my top referrer. You guys are awesome!
Being a Atheist Father.

[Zen Badger]

New entry to my blog. Sorry it has taken me so long to write. My arthritis has been flaring up making it difficult to do so. Let me know what you think! Thanks! Oh and out of all the forums I'm a regular member of, atheistforums.org has been my top referrer. You guys are awesome!
Being a Atheist Father.

I like it, we( my ex and I) let our six kids make their own choices regarding religion or the lack thereof.

Funnily enough they are all atheist.

Though Daughter No5 did have a brief flirtation with a local church she soon realized what a load of rubbish it was.

[thesummerqueen]

Isn't it funny that one of the things theists like to level at atheists is that we have no capacity to love? I'd like to argue that it takes a larger capacity to love to let your children be free to make their own decisions instead of telling them what to do, even if you disagree with it.

[Rhizomorph13]

Nice article, I've heard the sentiment that children shouldn't be labeled by the ideologies of their parents and I agree. There was some verbiage about choice that I didn't like in the article but I imagine it would take punch out of the article to refer to a child arriving at a belief through exposure to belief systems rather than saying that the child would choose this or that ideology. My belief is that "belief" is an artifact of the degree the person is convinced. We are exposed to some idea and we accept it or reject it based on our epistemic structure. If belief were a choice I promise that I would chose to believe in the most popular ideologies among my peer group, because that would give me the best advantage.

Belief isn't a choice.

The biggest problem with trying to "win" children for Christ is that their epistemic structure, quite often, is no more complex or formed than to accept whatever idea makes them happiest or which idea will make mommy and daddy happy. The same goes for atheism; I certainly do not want to solidify my children into a belief against god unless they have a good reason.

My daughter wants to pray before mealtimes and she gets really sad when I tell her that she can pray but I choose not to. I haven't fully decided whether or not to alot time for prayer, but I want her to respect my religious freedom as much as I would respect hers. Any ideas welcome.

[Thor]

I find it interesting that most atheists I've encountered allow their children to decide for themselves whether or not to believe in a god, join a religion or attend church. Quite simply, they want their children to think and make their own rational decisions.

On the other hand, it's nearly unanimous that believers pound their religion into the heads of their children as soon as the kids can talk. They wouldn't even think of allowing their kids to make a decision like this for themselves. Can you imagine a Catholic parent telling their kids to check out Islam, Judaism or Hinduism and letting them decide which religion to follow? Or to even discard religion if they so desire? Absolutely not! What the parents believe, the kids have to believe!

And they think atheists are "closed minded"!

At least the Amish allow their kids to decide if they want to join the church once they become of age. However, the kids are almost exclusively exposed to the beliefs of their parents, which doesn't give them much in the way of being exposed to other viewpoints. And there is the societal pressure to join the church. So, although the kids do get to choose, I don't know that they really have much of a choice.

[thesummerqueen]

My daughter wants to pray before mealtimes and she gets really sad when I tell her that she can pray but I choose not to. I haven't fully decided whether or not to alot time for prayer, but I want her to respect my religious freedom as much as I would respect hers. Any ideas welcome.

Rhiz, may I ask how your daughter came to want to pray in the first place?

[OnlyNatural]

I was fortunate to also be raised with parents who didn't force religion on me. I flirted briefly with Christianity, but that went the way of Santa Claus by the end of my teens.

You sound like a wonderful father. Kids need to be able to explore different ideas, and learn to think for themselves. Theist parents cripple their child's capacity to think and question things when they indoctrinate, but I guess that's the point all along.

[Rhizomorph13]

My daughter wants to pray before mealtimes and she gets really sad when I tell her that she can pray but I choose not to. I haven't fully decided whether or not to alot time for prayer, but I want her to respect my religious freedom as much as I would respect hers. Any ideas welcome.

Rhiz, may I ask how your daughter came to want to pray in the first place?

My fiance used to be religious so her and her ex-husband used to pray on occasion. The weird thing is that they never prayed before meals and my fiance doesn't know where she got the idea. I imagine that she saw it on a movie and found the ritual to be soothing, who knows? I don't want to encourage or discourage the behavior and wonder how to handle it.

Another thing that I wonder about is if I should allow them to go to church or even take them if they are curious. I don't want to sheild them from the experience or color it with my atheist leanings but I certainly don't want them to have to deal with fearing hell and seeking salvation at their young age! (they are 7 and 9) If they want to go with a friend I will allow them to go, but I know it will lead to some interesting discussions that could get nasty when I explain that I do not believe.

[thesummerqueen]

I would visit the place yourself first. When my ex and I were discussing marriage and children, I stoutly put down my foot and said that our kids would be raised Jewish (this was before I even realized it was "okay" to be an atheist, but I would have made the same choice - non-religious children would have been out of the question). Why? Because the church he was raised in, and struggled all his life to get back to, was a hellfire and brimstone Baptist church. As an adult, he thought it was fine. When the question of kids came up between us, he seemed to have forgotten anything negative he said about the place. I refuse to put my kids through that kind of emotional abuse. Sometimes it takes a fresh pair of ears and eyes for anyone to realize what's actually being said though.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Isn't it funny that one of the things theists like to level at atheists is that we have no capacity to love? I'd like to argue that it takes a larger capacity to love to let your children be free to make their own decisions instead of telling them what to do, even if you disagree with it.

Indeed. Such a simple thing becomes glaringly obvious if missing.

My father came from a background which considered children to be their property. No dissent was ever tolerated,about anything. I left at 18 and moved to another state,.