Why can't I own Canadians?

[Dundee]

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Dr. Laura's Bible

Several years ago someone sent a letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the talk show host. That letter was quoted in Playboy and mentioned in a dialog on the TV show The West Wing. I find it humorous and something to consider when pondering New Testament versus Old Testament. Here is the letter:



Thank you for doing so much to deducate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.


(1) When I burn a bull as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is, my neighbors claim the odor is not pleasing. Should I smite them?


(2)I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?


(3) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstral uncleanliness (Lev. 15: 19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Why can't I own Canadians?


This is a text that has been on the internet for quite a while.

So you may already know it.

But I think it is worth while to post it here, too. 



More about it:

from:

Moderator Notice
Link removed due to 30/30 violation

Any comments?

[zebo-the-fat]

I own a small Canadian, I keep him in a locked box and feed him through a slot

[Dundee]

Does anyone know this text?
This satirical letter to a certain Dr. Laura?

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 This Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Yes, I’ve seen it.

Boru

[brewer]

I think you need to purchase with loonies.

[Rev. Rye]

Does anyone know this text?
This satirical letter to a certain Dr. Laura?

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 This Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality

Did my own twist on this little bit of copypasta over a decade ago.

Hell, it was on an episode of The West Wing almost a decade before that.

[GUBU]

Why can't I own Canadians?

Because you're not mature enough to mind one, as evidenced by your join date.

[The Valkyrie]

They're impossible to house train and have a tendency to hump your leg.

[onlinebiker]

They're impossible to house train and have a tendency to hump your leg.

And they drink all the beer.....

[Paleophyte]

They're impossible to house train and have a tendency to hump your leg.

And they drink all the beer.....

Not a worry. Murican beer is too feeble for any Canadian to imbibe, even accidentally. It would be classified as soda pop by our customs agents if it weren't for the distinctive second-hand flavour.