A Blast from the past. Plus bad spelling.

[Rhizomorph13]

Well, this is how close I was to calling it quits with the criticism.

Mundane song is mundane

[arewethereyet]

Yep, that was me.

And the poem isn't better the second time around.

Dam it, I don't know if I should jump off a bridge or swallow a bottle of sleeping pills.

Damn it...maybe you could just dam the river under the bridge.

[arewethereyet]

Well, this is how close I was to calling it quits with the criticism.

Mundane song is mundane

80s dreck...color me surprised.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The Ballad of William Bloat, by Raymond Calvert

In a rude abode on the Shankill Road
Lived a man called William Bloat;
And he had a wife, the bane of his life,
Who always got his goat.
So one day at dawn with her nightdress on,
He slit her bloody throat.

With a razor's gash he settled her hash,
Oh, never was crime so quick!
But the steady drip on the pillow slip
Of her life's blood made him sick.
While the pool of gore on the bedroom floor
Grew clotted and cold and thick.

Still, he was glad he'd done what he had
As she lay there stiff and still.
Til a sudden awe of the angry Law
Filled his soul with an awful chill.
So to finish the fun so well begun,
He decided himself to kill.

He took the sheet from his wife's cold feet
And twisted it into a rope.
Then he hanged himself from the pantry shelf - 
'Twas an easy end (let's hope).
In the face of death with his dying breath,
He solemnly cursed the Pope.

But the strangest turn to the whole concern 
Was only just beginnin',
For he went to hell, but his wife got well
And she's still alive and sinnin'.
For the razor blade was British-made,
But the rope was Belfast linen.

*****

Boru

[arewethereyet]

The Ballad of William Bloat, by Raymond Calvert

In a rude abode on the Shankill Road
Lived a man called William Bloat;
And he had a wife, the bane of his life,
Who always got his goat.
So one day at dawn with her nightdress on,
He slit her bloody throat.

With a razor's gash he settled her hash,
Oh, never was crime so quick!
But the steady drip on the pillow slip
Of her life's blood made him sick.
While the pool of gore on the bedroom floor
Grew clotted and cold and thick.

Still, he was glad he'd done what he had
As she lay there stiff and still.
Til a sudden awe of the angry Law
Filled his soul with an awful chill.
So to finish the fun so well begun,
He decided himself to kill.

He took the sheet from his wife's cold feet
And twisted it into a rope.
Then he hanged himself from the pantry shelf - 
'Twas an easy end (let's hope).
In the face of death with his dying breath,
He solemnly cursed the Pope.

But the strangest turn to the whole concern 
Was only just beginnin',
For he went to hell, but his wife got well
And she's still alive and sinnin'.
For the razor blade was British-made,
But the rope was Belfast linen.

*****

Boru

It is important to have quality tools for the job.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Willie saw some dynamite
And couldn't understand it quite.
Curiosity seldom pays,
It rained Willie seven days.

In honor of a gay friend.

[HappySkeptic]

Mundane song is mundane

80s dreck...color me surprised.

Not having been here as long, I don't know why Brian gets such a hard time.

As for the Diesel song, its so generic 80s "the band playing at your high-school dance" rock that its actually kinda awesome

[arewethereyet]

80s dreck...color me surprised.

Not having been here as long, I don't know why Brian gets such a hard time.

As for the Diesel song, its so generic 80s "the band playing at your high-school dance" rock that its actually kinda awesome

Brian is stuck in the 80s, so much so that even bands who came before or after are 80s to him.

Stick around - his taste in music is pretty lame.   

Ask him about the Ramones.  That's a fun little story that hasn't been retold nearly enough.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

80s dreck...color me surprised.

Not having been here as long, I don't know why Brian gets such a hard time.

As for the Diesel song, its so generic 80s "the band playing at your high-school dance" rock that its actually kinda awesome

My only real issue with Brian is his inability to take a bit of mild criticism. And his randomly launched Tourette’s-like insults. And his constant repetition. And his steadfast refusal to answer simple questions. And his childishness. And his victim mentality. And his inability to self-reflect. And his unrealized homophobia.

Other than that, he’s a peach of a fella.

Boru

[Rhizomorph13]

Thanks to a poem that Carlton said on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire I'll never forget the formula for sulfuric acid:

Little Jimmy took a drink but now he'll drink no more,
for what he thought was H2O was H2SO4!