In Praise Of Cops

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Mongo (I know, how original!) used to like challenges like locked doors. He made money when we were in port Long Beach by being a tackling dummy for guard dogs. There's video somewhere of him walking around in the gorilla suit with six dogs hanging off of him.

[no one]

Many moons ago, I was headed home after working. It's 0230ish. Blazing down A1A. If you are unaware, it twists along the northern Florida coast.

As I come around this one bend, I see some headlights, I blast past them, only to see a cop slam on his brakes and flip a uie. So, I pull over and wait for him.

Cop: I'm deputy sheriff so and so. Do you know why I stopped you?

Me: Yes, I was speeding.

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Fast!

Cop: Do you know how fast?

Me: 150?

Cop: 147! Do you know what the speed limit is?

Me: 35?

Cop: 35! Why were you going so fast?

Me: Cause I could.

Cop: (holding back snicker) I could arrest you for reckless driving.

Me: If that's what you have to do.

He then goes on to explain how 1-14 miles over the limit is X amount of dollars, while 15 miles and above, is XXX amount of dollars. As the officer goes back to the squad car, I start doing the math, and quickly realize, I'll be paying off this ticket until...... forever.

The cop comes back and gives me a 49 in a 35, because I was honest.

[arewethereyet]

The week after my ex and I got married we traveled to the town we had lived in when we met. One day while there I took the car and went to see a friend. I was heading back to where we were staying on the bypass around town, I was speeding but not flying. On came the lights and I pulled over. Officer asks for the usual license and registration. I handed him my license and started digging for the registration (not my car and husband wasn't the most organized person). Finally found it and handed it over. Of course my last name wasn't changed yet on my license and the registration address hadn't been changed so I really thought I was screwed.

The officer asked if it was the car I usually drive and I replied that no, it wasn't. I further explained that we had just gotten married the previous week so that's why names, addresses, etc. didn't match.

The officer proceeded to go on about how if the tires were different from the original tires it might make the speedometer off a bit...and essentially talked himself out of giving a ticket...not even a warning. I have been married to three different mechanics and known many others...I am still waiting for one of them to tell me that the speedometer can be out of whack due to new tires that are the same size as the stock tires.

[Angrboda]

I came flying around the corner of Highway 169 one day, late for work, and see a cop car facing the other direction in the median. As I'm slowing down I notice the windshield is filled with the newspaper he was reading. He never budged.