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Current time: May 18, 2022, 6:11 am

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Other burning bush
#1
Other burning bush
According to Christian tradition (and we all know how accurate that usually is), virgin Mary's vagina was something like a flamethrower.

So, in the "Gospel of James", we find a story where a woman named Salome was there when Mary gave birth to Jesus, and when she heard from Mary's midwife about Mary's virginity she doubted that Mary was a virgin, so she fingered Mary, and her hand went in flames.

Quote:And the midwife departed from the cave and met Salome and said to her, "Salome, Salome, I have to describe this new miracle for you. A virgin has given birth, although her body does not allow it."

And Salome said, "As the Lord my God lives, unless I insert my finger and investigate her, I will not believe that a virgin has given birth."

And the midwife went in and said, "Mary, position yourself, for not a small test concerning you is about to take place."

When Mary heard these things, she positioned herself. And Salome inserted her finger into her body. And Salome cried out and said, "Woe for my lawlessness and the unbelief that made me test the living God. Look, my hand is falling away from me and being consumed in fire."

Gospel Of James
https://www.asu.edu/courses/rel376/total.../james.pdf
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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#2
RE: Other burning bush
It's written in a book so it must be true!
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!

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#3
RE: Other burning bush
That's some hot nookie.....
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#4
RE: Other burning bush
Could have been a chemical burn. Or radiation.

We may never know.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem




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#5
RE: Other burning bush
(May 12, 2021 at 9:18 am)brewer Wrote: Could have been a chemical burn. Or radiation.

We may never know.

It was definitely radiation because then it makes sense why radioactive tests show that the shroud of Turin is from medieval times and not from the 1st century: because when Mary picked up the shroud she kept it around her radioactive vagina which messed up radiocarbon atoms in it.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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#6
RE: Other burning bush
maybe an alergic reaction to god stuff
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!

Reply
#7
RE: Other burning bush
fetal jesus had a frickin laser beam.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem




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#8
RE: Other burning bush
(May 12, 2021 at 6:01 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: And the midwife went in and said, "Mary, position yourself, for not a small test concerning you is about to take place."

You have to wonder whether she delivered that line shaking her fist.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#9
RE: Other burning bush
If the Holy Spirit says, nah, it's okay, I'm clear, don't believe that bastard.
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#10
RE: Other burning bush
(May 12, 2021 at 6:01 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: According to Christian tradition (and we all know how accurate that usually is), virgin Mary's vagina was something like a flamethrower.

So, in the "Gospel of James", we find a story where a woman named Salome was there when Mary gave birth to Jesus, and when she heard from Mary's midwife about Mary's virginity she doubted that Mary was a virgin, so she fingered Mary, and her hand went in flames.

Quote:And the midwife departed from the cave and met Salome and said to her, "Salome, Salome, I have to describe this new miracle for you. A virgin has given birth, although her body does not allow it."

And Salome said, "As the Lord my God lives, unless I insert my finger and investigate her, I will not believe that a virgin has given birth."

And the midwife went in and said, "Mary, position yourself, for not a small test concerning you is about to take place."

When Mary heard these things, she positioned herself. And Salome inserted her finger into her body. And Salome cried out and said, "Woe for my lawlessness and the unbelief that made me test the living God. Look, my hand is falling away from me and being consumed in fire."

Gospel Of James
https://www.asu.edu/courses/rel376/total.../james.pdf

so... what page is the gospel of james on?
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