Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[Rev. Rye]

Found this stupid map on Reddit:

My first thought:




My second thought: Why the fuck are, of all areas, the Canadian Maritimes at Absolute Perfection?

[Silver]

My second thought: Why the fuck are, of all areas, the Canadian Maritimes at Absolute Perfection?

The map was created by a Canadian, obvs.

[brewer]

My second thought: Why the fuck are, of all areas, the Canadian Maritimes at Absolute Perfection?

The map was created by a Canadian, obvs.

No, it's secret eugenics manupliation. They have a master plan.

[Darinda]

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years your job will still suck.

[brewer]

ANTA CRUZ, Calif. (FOX26) —

The Santa Cruz Police Police Department is warning people that the man wearing a "Cookie Monster" costume is not with the city or the police department.

The man in the costume has residents concerned as he walks around the beach and wharf areas. Police identified the man as Adam Sandler, who has no connection to the actor by the same name. The police department has received calls and emails from people who say the man is 'creepy' and his presence and comments make them uncomfortable.

The police say that due to Sandler's history across the country, they are advising the public not to engage with this individual and steer clear of him. They say he has not committed any crimes in the city and is expressing his first amendment rights, but that you should avoid him anyway.

Community members have asked the police department if it's safe for children to take photos with this Cookie Monster, which they advise against. 

"It's a parent's prerogative and risk to allow their child to take a picture with this character," the department says.

Remember that SCPD advises the public not to interact with this person in the cookie monster costume due to his history of unpredictable vulgar comments and troublesome behavior.

The Santa Cruz Police Police Department is asking residents to make a report if they are a victim or witness a criminal act by this individual.

We ask that you assist SCPD in identifying and signing a complaint against the person(s) responsible. We also ask you to be willing to testify in court if necessary.

[Darinda]

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn’t talking to me.

[arewethereyet]

Oh no, the dogs would be in the house.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Oh no, the dogs would be in the house.

Winning an argument with the wife? Golly, I wonder what THAT’S like…

Boru

[Pat Mustard]

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Leixli...0vMDNfemhi

What's in 467's back yard?

[Darinda]

I’m considering removing my dog’s tail.
My mother in law comes next weekend and I intend to get rid of anything that would give her the impression that she is welcome.