Your favorite joke?

[Violet]

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To be frank, I find these things both to be jokes. I think I'm a bigger joke though ^_^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tDMJ2KVsas

The Pan of Awesome.

---

Your username is funny if said out loud.
*Aerzia Saerules Arktuos*

Now here is something really funny, you have beaten the browser dictionary.

Poor browser.....

One more joke...........our young hobbit on Middle-Atheistforums.

*Somehow doesn't feel insulted, but definitely feels confused and worried about Emporion's mental health*

[Emporion]

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To be frank, I find these things both to be jokes. I think I'm a bigger joke though ^_^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tDMJ2KVsas

The Pan of Awesome.

---

Your username is funny if said out loud.
*Aerzia Saerules Arktuos*

Now here is something really funny, you have beaten the browser dictionary.

Poor browser.....

One more joke...........our young hobbit on Middle-Atheistforums.

*Somehow doesn't feel insulted, but definitely feels confused and worried about Emporion's mental health*

Hense why it was done at 2:23 in the morning.

[Darinda]

CATHOLIC HEART ATTACK


A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass
Surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of
nuns at a Catholic Hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was
going to pay for his treatment.

She asked if he had health insurance.

He replied, in a raspy voice, 'No health insurance.'
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.

He replied. 'No money in the bank.'

The nun asked, 'Do you have a relative who could help you?'

He said, 'I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun.'

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, 'Nuns are not spinsters!

Nuns are married to God.'

The patient replied, 'Send the bill to my brother-in-law.

[Diamond]

A smart guy, an average guy, and an idiot are trapped on a deserted island. They one day come across a magic slide with a sign that reads "State a liquid and it will await you at the end of this slide".
The smart guy tries it first, saying "Water!" as he slides down. And, sure enough, he lands in a pool full of water.
The next day, the average guy goes down the slide saying "Coke!" and ends up in a pool full of coca-cola.
The next day, when the idiot tries out the magic slide, he goes down saying "Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

[Minimalist]

Q: How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The invisible hand of the market will take care of it. What are you, a socialist?

[Rev. Rye]

A man walks into a confessional. A priest sees this and goes to the other booth. He asks "My child?" The man says "Fuhgeddaboudit, padre. There's no toilet paper in this stall, either!"

[Violet]

---

Your username is funny if said out loud.
*Aerzia Saerules Arktuos*

Now here is something really funny, you have beaten the browser dictionary.

Poor browser.....

One more joke...........our young hobbit on Middle-Atheistforums.

---

To pronounce it more correctly, it is:

Ire-Zee-Ah Sigh-Roo-Lez Ark-two-ose

Might sound a little less funnier than whatever you're doing

Not that I mind people trying to wrap their mouths around sounds that are not there ^_^

[Cinjin]

A man comes home from a night of heavy binge drinking.
As he walks in the door he smashes the flower vase all over the floor, trips through the living room breaking the coffee table. He then procedes to piss all over the floor mat in the bathroom, completely missing the toilet.

The next morning he awakens to find his wife had not only cleaned up everything but also greets him with a warm smile and a hot plate of breakfast.

The man's son told him of his actions the night before and the puzzled man simply asked, "Why is she treating me so well? How did this happen?"

The son replies, "All I know is that after you went in your room and passed out on the floor I heard you yell out, "GET OFF ME WOMAN, I'M A MARRIED MAN!"

Flower Vase = $18
Coffee Table = $120
Saying the right thing at the right time = Priceless

[Minimalist]

This requires a thick Jewish accent.

A cop walking a beat in Brooklyn sees a big young black man beating the shit our of a little old Jewish man. He grabs each by the back of the neck and pulls them apart.

He looks at the black guy and demands "what are you crazy? You're twice his size...you'll kill him."

“He called me a black bastard,” the black man replied.

The cop shakes his head, looks at the old man and says,

“What's wrong with you? You got a death wish? Look at the size of him!” asks the policeman.

The Jewish man replies, “Oy, officer, this man is a fine gentleman. I would never call him such a name. I don’t know what got him mad. He asked me for directions to the Motor Vehicle Department and I told him ‘You’re a block past it.’”

[Darinda]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath,
Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them
around. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen
very, very
closely......


a r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?