The Contract

[Red_Baron]

This bullshit contract states that
i will be kicked out if i do not follow theses rules

agree to get ready for church when be told and with out arguing and using inappropriate language.

will attend church on Saturday or Sunday.

if i do not do so they will cut off all money and everything.

sadly I signed it.....
I guess it bought me time to find a place to go.

idk i feel bad like i lost all hope like i just wanna sit there paralyzed staring at nothing.
fucking church its like they made them so no one will escape as if they brainwashed their minds making think that if they don't make their kids go they will go to hell.

the church uses hell to... get money, beating religion into people, and use the Communism fear to control.

communism = control
religion = control
communism = religion

[Rhizomorph13]

Bummer man, sorry to hear it; my parents were much the same. I would suggest you leave ASAP, stabalize your life, then establish an adult relationship with your parents. They are not necessarily wrong in what they do, they are simply doing the best they know to keep you safe. Don't be passive aggressive, when you go to church be respectful and remember the contract you signed. Don't fight it, just breath a lot, and stay calm. You will be fine.

I'm sure my message will be lost amongst the angsty replies of "FUCK RELIGION" "You should go on a hunger strike!" or whatever reactionist message people come up with. Hopefully you will prevail AND build a healthier relationship with your parents AFTER you leave the safe warm nest.

[Cinjin]

I don't understand why they would have you sign a piece of paper????? What are they gonna do that's worse than telling you to leave? Take you to court??
The whole thing is just stupid. Your parents are tools pal. I'd leave and never pick up the phone again. If they decide to call you on their death bed than that's their loss, not yours.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Some day when you have your own family and your own rules for your own life - you can probably forgive their stupidity and compartmentalize them into the tiny little space in the back of your mind. I had the same parents ... and they stay in the back room of my mind where they can't do any damage any more.

[Rhizomorph13]

Wow, and like, right on cue... Cinjin! Glarf thanks you for making me an acurate prophet!

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that.

My parents did the "under my roof,my rules" thing to me too.(chronic Catholics)

I complied for about 9 months. At 18, I found a job in another city and left.

Very silly and short sighted behaviour on the part of my parents. Their attempts to control me caused deep resentments which permanently soured ( but did not destroy) my relationship with them. I can only hope you are more forgiving than I have managed to be.

[Minimalist]

You're dealing with a pair of assholes, lad. The sooner you can get away from them the better off you will be.

When you leave remind them of why you are leaving and that they chose their fairy tales over their own son.

[reverendjeremiah]

This bullshit contract states that
i will be kicked out if i do not follow theses rules

Fuck!! They went through with it?!?! I have honestly been worrying about you on and off since you told me about it. That is VERY FUCKED UP of them to do such a thing, especially at your age? My daughter is going on 18 years old and I would never DREAM of making her sign a contract stating she would stay away from religion and church...even though I raised her to be a freethinker. She tells me "Dad, Im one of those 'I dont give a shit' agnostics. I only give a shit if they force it on me." I would NEVER make her sign such a contract, and I shouldnt have to. Even if she became religious I would still love her and do no such thing...as long as it wasnt some really off the wall religious cult - THEN I would worry. Remember what your parents are doing to you now and make sure NOT to do it to your children. That is your power...when you say; "That shit stops here, with me, from now on!" and you pass that empowerment down to the next generation. I hope that inspired you.

agree to get ready for church when be told and with out arguing and using inappropriate language

Easily done. Yeah, it sucks, but you did what you had to do to survive. Just stay DEAD quiet. Did they say you have to like it? How good can you act? Well, to be honest, if they put that in the contract they are basically asking "We want you to act like you like it and convince us".

will attend church on Saturday or Sunday.

But not both? These are things you need to take advantage of. Find yourself a nice hunk of sweet woman (or man, if you are gay..Im straight) at the church (even if she is older...MILF's are experienced!) and try to get some whoopie. Might as well make the most of your forced stay. Learn how to fake it around the fundies and be convincing...you dont have much of a choice now.

if i do not do so they will cut off all money and everything.

..and save as much money as you can if you want to get away from them. Now is the time to get your game plan together. Your parents are ALSO doing this to help force you out of the house. If you dont realize this is more than about religion by now, then you need to catch on quick.

sadly I signed it.....
I guess it bought me time to find a place to go.

You had a choice? You did what you had to do.

idk i feel bad like i lost all hope like i just wanna sit there paralyzed staring at nothing.
fucking church its like they made them so no one will escape as if they brainwashed their minds making think that if they don't make their kids go they will go to hell.

Of course. Its a mind trap, a money trap, and all of that conspiracy crap. You know it and I know it. Fear and enemies make for a common gathering ground. Check out world politics..they use the same tactics.

the church uses hell to... get money, beating religion into people, and use the Communism fear to control.

I found that funny, considering the bible story of what the apostles of christ did after his ascension. They created a theocratic commune. All worldly possessions were sold by the members and the money had to be surrendered to the leader of the church in order to join. In fact God himself struck dead a husband and wife who decided to hold back some of that cash for themselves. Dead, right then and there, and the apostle even told them that they lied before they were murdered by god. Communism, theocratic style, is all over the new testament. Of course, slavery is allowed in that theo-communistic society. And misogyny. And racism.

communism = control
religion = control
communism = religion

Communism as long as it isnt their church in control. Then it isnt called "communism". Its called "Gods kingdom on Earth" and they control every aspect of it.

[Minimalist]

The first thing he has to do is lose the idea that he signed any kind of "contract." Basic contract law is that a contract cannot be entered into under duress.*

No. What you have here is a diktat. A harsh settlement imposed on the defeated or helpless. You will not always be helpless and turnabout is a bitch.

Your parents, I'm afraid, will always be controlling assholes who think they can impose their will simply by saying so.


* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duress

Duress has been defined as a "threat of harm made to compel a person to do something against his or her will or judgment; esp., a wrongful threat made by one person to compel a manifestation of seeming assent by another person to a transaction without real volition"

[Rhizomorph13]

Min,

While you might be right according to law, this obviously isn't about trying to "win" some legal matter is it? Wouldn't it be better for the kid to keep the peace? THEY have all the power in this relationship and if they choose to abuse it, no amount of fighting is going to improve Red's life. Lest we conflate this with some heroic fight for independence; we aren't talking about the drafting of a new constitution. We are talking about the proper application of the psychological concept of reframing so Red can pragmatically improve their happiness in life until they move out. There is no court in the world that will force Red's parents to "treat him fairly." There is, most likely, no argument that will accomplish the same, so the only logical course would be to bite the bullet and get the "F" out of there without ruining the most important relationship a person has.

Padraic,

It really is too bad that you couldn't repair the relationship, but I get it, I still harbor a few grudges against my folks.

[Minimalist]

While you might be right according to law, this obviously isn't about trying to "win" some legal matter is it?

Of course not. However, for his own sense of self respect he needs to understand that he did not enter into any sort of "contract" with his power-crazed parents. They presented an ultimatum and he has little choice but to comply. He is not an equal party to this agreement.

They are the ones who are misstating their action as a "contract" in order to pretend to themselves that they are acting for his good and not their own.

It's typical religious bullying. I wonder what the minister would say if he knew about this arrangement. I imagine like most "men of god" he'd be fine with it because most of them are scumbags....but maybe ( just maybe) he'd tell the parents that they are doing more harm than good in the long run. Red is not going to simply become a good xtian at this point. He is too angry and the shit doesn't make sense to a rational mind anyway.