Hello!

[Nay_Sayer]

Welcome, SnoopSqueak! My welcome is from a fellow member. Like you, I have no power to create policy here. IMO, it's a decent place for an atheist to hang out.

I agree with you that the 30/30 rule is misguided. I'm convinced it has driven many good contributors away. The thing is, if you play in someone else's game, you have to play by their rules. That's just a fact of life we all have to make peace with. The 30/30 rule is definitely annoying but it doesn't last long.  I believe you may find what you're looking for here if you put up with it for the requisite 30 days.

I'm not sure how asking a poster to earnestly contribute and not be an ad bot is "driving people away" but ok.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Welcome, SnoopSqueak! My welcome is from a fellow member. Like you, I have no power to create policy here. IMO, it's a decent place for an atheist to hang out.

I agree with you that the 30/30 rule is misguided. I'm convinced it has driven many good contributors away. The thing is, if you play in someone else's game, you have to play by their rules. That's just a fact of life we all have to make peace with. The 30/30 rule is definitely annoying but it doesn't last long.  I believe you may find what you're looking for here if you put up with it for the requisite 30 days.

I’m not in full agreement with all of our rules myself, but there we are.

Boru

[Angrboda]

I find that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, most times, by showing themselves unable to abide by what are good but imperfect rules, and eventually getting the boot. Belacqua excepted.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I find that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, most times, by showing themselves unable to abide by what are good but imperfect rules, and eventually getting the boot.  Belacqua excepted.

Bel does a fair amount of kvetching about the Rules but seems to abide by them pretty well.

Of course, if we had rules against hypocrisy, twisting facts, and being a general pain in my bollocks, he’d have been gone long ago.

Boru

[SnoopSqueak]

Thank you all. I will try not to take things personally, I will try to exercise more patience. It is difficult. Backwards impulses were violently programmed into me. I am unsure where I will be in 30 days, I have to move away from here. I made the mistake of trusting christians again. My landlady invited me to express myself, said I would not be a bother. I expressed myself honestly, including as much context about my abuse as I could, but now I am told my lease will not be renewed. Her husband threatened to hit me and evict me, though I did not actually do anything more than text somebody who told me it was okay to text them.

My life has never been worth living. I do not know where I am going next. I am worried I will not survive this year.

[Nay_Sayer]

Thank you all. I will try not to take things personally, I will try to exercise more patience. It is difficult. Backwards impulses were violently programmed into me. I am unsure where I will be in 30 days, I have to move away from here. I made the mistake of trusting christians again. My landlady invited me to express myself, said I would not be a bother. I expressed myself honestly, including as much context about my abuse as I could, but now I am told my lease will not be renewed. Her husband threatened to hit me and evict me, though I did not actually do anything more than text somebody who told me it was okay to text them.

My life has never been worth living. I do not know where I am going next. I am worried I will not survive this year.

988

Call or text.  It was an invaluable help when I was in a very bad place not that long ago.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

^Exactly that. No shame in seeking help.

Boru

[Mister Agenda]

Welcome SnoopSqueak. I hope you like it here and that things improve for you.

[The Grand Nudger]

Thank you all. I will try not to take things personally, I will try to exercise more patience. It is difficult. Backwards impulses were violently programmed into me. I am unsure where I will be in 30 days, I have to move away from here. 

One way to exercise just a little touch of control is to be here - telling us how the last thirty days have gone.  Needing to move is a pain in the ass under good circumstances.

[SnoopSqueak]

My frustration stems from the fact that I put so much of myself online already, but I have to start over here. I guess I can post my links in another 7 days, but by that point my introduction has already been established on a much worse note. Oh well. It isn't a big problem compared to everything else, I can say I overreacted.

One way to exercise just a little touch of control is to be here - telling us how the last thirty days have gone.  Needing to move is a pain in the ass under good circumstances.

Good idea, thank you. Yes, it has been fairly stressful. I managed to find a new place, but I haven't finished moving everything yet. I would like to get away from the bible belt and those who hurt me, so my ultimate goal is to try living in Colorado, but for now I am moving from Missouri to Kansas. I am trying to get retirement money out to give me more leeway while I set a new course for my life. I was a web developer, but the job market is currently a mess and I may want a change of pace anyway. I've also thought about going back to college, even if it means taking out student loans again, but I am unsure whether that would be wise. I was thinking electrical engineering or teaching, though I recognize teachers are typically overworked and underpaid. I worry I would spend years and the rest of my money getting another degree, but still be unable to do anything with either degree. I could have kept my somewhat lucrative job at the bank I worked for, but that work was doing more harm than good.

Society rewards wrong behavior and punishes doing the right thing. I never wanted to be a sellout, but it can be easy to ignore the consequences of our actions when we are so disconnected from them. So I might rather die than work another "evil" job, and I am going vegan as of this year. I want to focus more on healthy sustainability, but I have decades of bad habits. Part of me would like to become an ecologist or otherwise somehow help with the human waste situation, climate change, etc. The average person is still regularly choosing to make the future worse for everybody. It is what we have been conditioned to do, and change is often difficult.

I never wanted much out of life. My happiest memories are of playing games with my childhood friends; I wish I could have stayed there. I want to see a better world where more people have the opportunity to be happier and healthier. I am unsure how to help us get to that when I am so encumbered by my problems, but that is what I would like to spend the rest of my life on. Future generations do not deserve the mess they are inheriting.