Posts: 30
Threads: 2
Joined: April 25, 2011
Reputation:
1
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Yeah, there's a lot of repercussions from having the guilt and worthlessness that comes with Christianity shoved down your throat... I was depressed/suicidal for years because of this stuff. I really hope that I can get her to see it, I hate to see her living a lie simply because that's what her grandmother brainwashed her into. She's not the sort that's so clouded by it that she believes God is going to alleviate her debts and that kind of thing, so that's good lol.
I hate going to church. It's boring, and reminds me of the brainwashing and mental torment that I had to go through for so many years. I'm just not really sure how to bring it up to her that I don't want to go anymore. I guess I could just straight up tell her, but I don't want to come across as an insensitive asshole.
Posts: 5097
Threads: 207
Joined: February 16, 2011
Reputation:
44
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Im beginning to wonder if Cheesy choad is a bot, or a spammer
Posts: 3872
Threads: 39
Joined: August 25, 2008
Reputation:
43
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 6:04 pm
(This post was last modified: April 25, 2011 at 6:13 pm by Ace Otana.)
(April 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm)reverendjeremiah Wrote: Im beginning to wonder if Cheesy choad is a bot, or a spammer
I was thinking the same thing. Look through his posts...
Odd behaviour. 
Quote:I don't even want kids, but she says she may some day and I guess I'd make one if she wanted it, but that'd be the biggest problem.
Be careful with that one. It was that very problem that caused me and Jess to never speak or see each other again. Relationship killer. Best of luck to ya. 
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan
Mankind's intelligence walks hand in hand with it's stupidity.
Being an atheist says nothing about your overall intelligence, it just means you don't believe in god. Atheists can be as bright as any scientist and as stupid as any creationist.
You never really know just how stupid someone is, until you've argued with them.
Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation:
45
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 6:15 pm
(This post was last modified: April 25, 2011 at 6:18 pm by Doubting Thomas.)
Well one thing you really need to get out in the open right now is if you do get married, will she expect you to attend church with her every Sunday? If you hate going, you had better let her know that you don't want to go every week. You don't have to be an insensitive asshole, just tell her that you get no enjoyment out of it. You can compromise and go with her during important holidays such as Christmas or Easter, but if you hate going now and she expects you to go with her, you're going to end up really resenting her and her religion. You need to let her know right now that you hate going to church. Going with her right now is just telling her that you're going to keep doing so after you get married.
It's great that she still loves you and wants to be with you even though you don't share a faith. But, like most Christians who have loved ones who are atheists, she probably thinks that you're "lost" and need help being religious again. But before you get married, just make sure she's not going to pull any of that "unevenly yoked" nonsense later on.
Oh yeah, I've been married 11 years to a Catholic woman. When we got married I was still religious, though a few years after I started having serious doubts which I should have communicated to her then. But even though she forgave me for not being totally open & honest with her, she still wants me to "find my faith again." While she doesn't make me attend church with her, she drops little hints here & there like, "Do you want to go to church with me?" But out of respect for her I usually do go with her on Christmas and Easter.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Posts: 19788
Threads: 57
Joined: September 24, 2010
Reputation:
85
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I went with my former girlfriend to church almost every weekend when we dated, as well as a lot of the social functions that occupies the rest of the day that she likes to go to. Hints that we would have unresolvable conflict when raising out children appeared when she used every excuse to not get out of church a little earlier than usual on the one weekend out of 6 month when I asked her to attend a social function I was invited to.
Posts: 14259
Threads: 48
Joined: March 1, 2009
Reputation:
80
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Sounds like you're in fundy hell. Everything sounds like bollocks, including your reasons not to believe. I can just imagine the car crashes of discussions. Maybe you're meant for each other?
Posts: 19788
Threads: 57
Joined: September 24, 2010
Reputation:
85
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 6:53 pm
(This post was last modified: April 25, 2011 at 6:58 pm by Anomalocaris.)
You can't grasp my reasons for not believing, Fr0do, which is why you settle for the juvenile solution of believing. And she is meant more for you, fr0d0.
There was never any doubt that christainity is complete bullshit, and a disgrace to every believer However her church did make me understand more vicerally just how much it stank, and how severe a disgrace it is to those who embrace it.
Posts: 69248
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
259
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 7:00 pm
Quote:I guess I could just straight up tell her, but I don't want to come across as an insensitive asshole.
Well..... a noble intention but...
Quote:This is a revolution, dammit! We've got to offend somebody!
--John Adams, 1776
Posts: 30
Threads: 2
Joined: April 25, 2011
Reputation:
1
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Thanks for the replies Doubting Thomas. I'll try at least pointing out that I don't enjoy it and see what comes of that. Maybe if I start off slow like only going on Sundays or something it will be easier on her.
I guess she has to think that I'm a lost soul or whatever, but so far she hasn't treated me as such. Of course, so far the debates that she's started have all ended with her basically just being stumped and either resorting to the "I don't know God's smarter than all of us" bullcrap or just trying to rationalize it as his will or something.
My lady doesn't seem to be as harsh on it as yours, Chuck. She doesn't throw a fit or anything if I'm late (which I generally am by 30 minutes or so) or if I leave to go to work or something like that.
fr0d0, your post doesn't really help anything.
I understand what you're saying Minimalist...I just want to find the most unconfrontational ways as possible to deal with this...
Posts: 5097
Threads: 207
Joined: February 16, 2011
Reputation:
44
RE: Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance
April 25, 2011 at 8:13 pm
(April 25, 2011 at 7:13 pm)Kaptinjoo Wrote: I guess she has to think that I'm a lost soul or whatever, but so far she hasn't treated me as such. Of course, so far the debates that she's started have all ended with her basically just being stumped and either resorting to the "I don't know God's smarter than all of us" bullcrap or just trying to rationalize it as his will or something. Atheism is difficult to talk someone into. To become an atheist, you have to be willing to ask yourself difficult questions and accept the difficult answers.
(April 25, 2011 at 7:13 pm)Kaptinjoo Wrote: fr0d0, your post doesn't really help anything. You will soon discover that is a recurring theme on this forum with said individual
|
