Became an atheist, need advice on Christian fiance

[fr0d0]

A chillaxed superstitious follower of primitive desert cult who sport cannabal face tattoo, No?

Non superstitious thankyou very much

[Doubting Thomas]

This family I knew, I think they went Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday evening, and I think Saturday evening. I think that much "fellowship" would drive me insane.

[Xyster]

buy her a book: 50 reasons people give for believing in a god by Guy Harrison

Its a good book read it then have her read it......

[Jaysyn]

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Hey everybody, I'm new here and have a situation. I've recently become an atheist after months of study/questioning/etc. Ultimately I've come to the conclusion that there is no supreme being and that evolution is the most logical theory. I come from a background of being a fundamentalist Christian (attending an "anti" Church of Christ) for 15 years. I was baptised at age 9 and have been heavily involved in religion and whatnot until around the first of this year, when I began to study atheism and such things to help my fiance's little brother become faithful. The end result was myself becoming an atheist lol. Anyway, my fiance is still a fundamentalist christian attending the church of christ that we have went to for the last 7 years. She's very much indocrinated into their beliefs, as was I. I cannot seem to break her grasp on religion free. She continually dismisses my arguments and claims that atheist are immoral evil people, in addition to a lot of other "standard" claims that christians make about god and salvation and other garbage. We've been together for 7 years, and have been engaged for 3 of that. I love her with all my heart and would do anything in the world for her, so ending the relationship over some lies told by a suspicious desert people thousands of years ago seems absolutely stupid. The problem is that it's causing strain on our relationship, mostly in that I do not wish to help her convert her little brother, or anyone else, to christianity. Nor do I see sense in praying and doing the other activities a christian is supposed to do. I still go to church with her to appease her, but I would much rather her come to her senses and embrace the truth of atheism. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

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Thanks a lot

Run. Run away as fast as you possibly can.

Reasons:

1.) She isn't going to change her mind & the harder you push & more hints you drop the more she will resent you & push back against "the evil influence of Satan".

2.) Her family will eventually grow to dislike you. Even more so if you somehow get her to leave her religion.

3.) Deep down, she doesn't respect you or your decisions. Right now she's in "pat him on the head" mode, hoping this will go away. It only gets worse.

4.) You do not want to raise children with this girl. This will become as big an issue as your burgeoning atheism.

5.) You're obviously younger. By the dates you've given I'm guessing 24 tops. In five to seven years or so your outlook on life WILL change & you probably won't want her around anyhow.

6.) She's probably lousy in bed. I've fooled around with the religious & non-religious & the non-religious are hands down better in the sack. Unless you *like* hang-ups & uninspired sex, then go for the bible-thumpers.

[prayforme]

Yeah I don't think it will work. Not too long ago I might have said to give it a shot anyways but have since realized that some differences cannot be reconciled. She will have to figure it out for herself before you can move on with the marriage with any confidence.

[Doubting Thomas]

Probably not bad advice. Make sure you work out ALL the religion issues before you think about getting married. She'll want to get married in her church, and if you give in and do that, she'll expect your relationship to be centered around her religious beliefs. Because, after all, if you stand there in the church in front of a preacher and agree to all the God stuff in your wedding vows, then she'll expect you to agree to religion in your marriage. This means going to church with her all the time, baptizing your kids and raising them Christian, etc. Better to find out now that you won't be compatible rather than after you get married.

[A Dead Relative]

I have been in a few different relationships, with women that were xian, but we both knew our stances when we entered the relationship. Fortunately, we were accepting of the other, and I even went to church with one of them, a few times. The last xian woman I dated called me out on Facebook, which didn't go over very well, but I dealt with it.

When I was still a believer (I've always had doubts), I was dating a Fundy that ended up making me question religion, even more. I never talked to her again, after we split up, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I'm now an atheist, because of her.

[eric209]

I agree with the posters here that give the advice to get away as fast as possible. It sounds like the only reason she would be able to marry with her religious views is if she either sees you as like minded or is in denial of your atheism thinking she can win you back.

When and if kids are introduced you are going to have major issues most likely. I am secular humanist athiest / social liberal and my wife is angostic and moderately liberal and we have some pretty involved disagreements with some of the finer points of how to raise children.

For example. She was at first insisting on baptizing any children we might have because it couldnt do any harm and it would appease her religious family (some catholic some liberal non denominational christian). Since i have helped her to decide it would be best not to lead her family into thinking that we arent a secular household. I could see this issues like this being alot worse.

All in all i feel really bad for your situation. It sucks to realise that your ideals are so drastically different so late into a relationship. Ignorance is bliss they say.

[bbrettle]

2 corinthians 6:14 ....Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

my best suggestion is to rip this verse out of the Bible or take it that you are going to have some CRAZYYYYYY arguments for the rest of your life.......

[Gawdzilla]

Something I posted over at AF.com:

Some of you dread the day you have to make your disinterest in religion known to a friend or relative. It's not always easy.

Here's something I did with a lady I knew. I asked her to write down my good and bad aspects down and save them. I asked her to look over the list 24 hours later to see if she wanted to change anything. I promised her I would never ask to see that list. 48 hours after she made the list I told her that I was an atheist.

"I don't know what to say."

"Just do me a favor. Look at that list you made, and see if anything I just said changes anything on that list."

"I can tell you right now it doesn't."

I asked her to marry me one month later, after asking her to look at that list one more time.