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God Seen At Local Church!
April 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Oh ...
My ...
God ...
We we're all wrong!!!!!!!!
Quote:God Makes Surprise Visit To Local Church
April 21, 2009
FAYETTEVILLE, NC—Parishioners at the First Presbyterian Church were left stunned and in awe of His glory Sunday, when the Lord God Almighty dropped by their 11 a.m. service unannounced.
![[Image: God-Makes-R.article.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=www.theonion.com%2Fcontent%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2FGod-Makes-R.article.jpg)
Interrupting Pastor Terry Pridgen's sermon on His unending mercy, God appeared suddenly before His flock as an intense beam of white light, instantly dispersing the earthly forms of those seated in the first two pews. Sources said the remaining congregants had to avert their eyes from their Creator, whose booming celestial voice overwhelmed their worldly senses and humbled their hearts as He politely apologized for not calling first.
"I AM the God of Abraham, the LORD MOST HIGH, who brought you forth from the bondage of Egypt," God said unto church members, many of whom cowered in reverent fear of Him. "Thought I'd just pop in and see how things were going. Please, pretend like I'm not even here."
The Supreme Being then thanked the choir for its "lovely introduction" and took a seat to the right of the altar.
According to wholly repentant witnesses, who were scarcely able to look upon the Alpha and Omega, much less conceive of the enormity of His Might, God did not speak again for the entirety of the service, but was seen nodding approvingly during the Nicene Creed.
Attendees reportedly did not ask the One Who Made Them Flesh why He had chosen to visit their small parish, though some suspected the church's new electric organ might have had something to do with it.
"I don't think anyone knew He was coming," said churchgoer Ron Stiehl, adding that, for once, he was happy his wife dragged him to church. "At least it seemed that way when He started walking toward us and everyone was yelling their heads off like it was Judgment Day."
"Turns out the King of Kings was just making the rounds," Stiehl continued. "I thought He'd be taller."
[ Read The Rest Of The Article Here]
Enjoy 
Kyu
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 22, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Time to rename this "Theist Forums" eh?
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 22, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Personally, it's not God I dislike, it's his fan club I can't stand.
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Just hand over the admin account details at the door K Adrian 
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 22, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Well its more convincing than the Jezus apperance in a kitkat chocolate bar here in Holland.
Best regards,
Leo van Miert
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 22, 2009 at 4:52 pm
 Praise be to the Almighty! Glad to hear he's chillin' in Fayetteville!
"We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation, or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation, we consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values."
-President Barack Obama
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 22, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Hmph
When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I often spoke to god on the great white telephone in my bathroom.--On my knees,embracing the huge device with both arms,and moaning "Oh GOD!"
OK,he never spoke back.
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 23, 2009 at 3:58 am
(This post was last modified: April 23, 2009 at 3:58 am by Giff.)
It's so ridicilous that I almost get mad
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 23, 2009 at 4:31 am
(This post was last modified: April 23, 2009 at 4:37 am by Kyuuketsuki.)
(April 23, 2009 at 3:58 am)Giff Wrote: It's so ridicilous that I almost get mad
Why? It's funny!
Kyu
(April 22, 2009 at 8:29 pm)padraic Wrote: When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I often spoke to god on the great white telephone in my bathroom.--On my knees,embracing the huge device with both arms,and moaning "Oh GOD!"
I used to use the GWT to call Hughie ... he never answered either
My brother had more happier times with the GWT ... whilst still in the happy state he used to stick his head down it and start singing, " The Wunnerful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wunnerful things! Their tops are made outta rubber! Their bottoms are made outta springs! They're flouncy, trouncy, pouncy, bouncy, fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! The Wunnerful Wunnerful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one ... I'm the only one!"
That was very funny!
Kyu
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RE: God Seen At Local Church!
April 23, 2009 at 10:00 pm
The onion news network is awesome in general btw.
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