That Day will come as a trap on all the world

[Jackalope]

I always wondered what the aliens were supposed to learn from anal probing. If I were an alien and wanted to find out about specific peoples conditions I'd steal medical records.

In fact it was a running joke when I worked in a hospital when a set of notes went missing "the aliens had taken them".

Let's see, for beings capable of travelling lightyears, it seems rather stupid to only be able to get a grasp of human physiology by anal probes? Geez, even we have more effective methods, like MRI's and CAT scans.

The way I see it, it's somekind of freudian slip from the people that make up those stories.

Have you ever considered that the purpose of alien anal probes might be.... Entertainment?

Aliens be trollin' us.

[The Valkyrie]

I called my mother on the weekend.

"Are you still there?"

"Yes, why?"

"Don't feel any urges to rise into the sky and fly away?"

"What?"

"No strange trumpet noises from the sky?"

"No!"

"None of the friends or family disappeared? No random piles of clothes being found in the streets?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No, just confirming the results of another rapture claim."

"Rapture? Oh, that's bullshit!"

[Alex K]

Hi Alex, the professor will never be an atheist, and (Psst, a secret)- the world never ends.

There's this thing about the Vacuum instability of the Higgs field. I wouldn't hold my breath though, too speculative...

[DramaQueen]

Only the people of Bhutan will go to heaven

[Whateverist]

Have you ever considered that the purpose of alien anal probes might be.... Entertainment?

Certainly entertainment has been the purpose of what anal probing I've managed to do.

[Cyberman]

Did professor ever wrote a book?

The words "Professor" and "book" in the same sentence - comedy gold!

[Cyberman]

No Drama queen he did not.
He has 5 or 6 loose leaf notebooks above his computer at work which he has been compiling information over the last dozen years or so.

Hi computer has a stash of information on it as well as selected websites and his youtube account which has a scad of stuff in his "Favorites" list.

My guys have said if anything un-natural happens to me, they intend to access my files.
Better late than never.

Sometime around seven or eight years ago, my Sam made contact with a guy who may or may not have been her real dad (it's rather an involved story and one outside the scope of this vignette). From the first meeting, it was clear from what he was saying that something wasn't quite right with the man. I think it might have been the conspiracy to keep the public from finding out he was Tony Blair's brother. Or that one day he would marry a certain female pop star who keeps sending him secret messages in the titles of her songs. Of course, it could have been the doppelgängers of people he knows following him around and watching his every move. After all that, the invisible dog in a top hat that people were hiding from him to destroy his credibility was pretty much inevitable.

I wish I was making all this up.

The reason I mention it at all is that he came and stayed with us for a time, against my better judgement. Clearing up after he'd left, we found a stash of notes he'd been making. Sheaves of notepaper, scraps of cardboard, insides of boardgame boxes; every available surface was a window into the abyss. We sat and we read and we neither of us could speak, out of pure, undiluted shock.

Did I mention that he was an acoholic? Also a member of two churches - one baptist (iirc), the other spiritualist?

We found a local rehab clinic and persuaded him to visit it, whereupon the the ravings apparently diminished. He also lost interest in his churches, seeing them as parasites feeding off his delusions. Of course, that bit might have been my influence.

I offer this anecdote by way of illustration and inspiration. Take from it what you will.

Oh, incidentally he also had 'healing powers', which he tried to use once by pressing his hand onto Sam's head while she was having a seizure in the street. I chose the terms "tried to" and "once" deliberately.

[The Grand Nudger]

every available surface was a window into the abyss.

I'll be saying this for the rest of my life......thank you...

[professor]

Hi Stimbo,
If you guys are right about Obama leaving office peacefully- he will be precisely 666 months old at the time his term expires 12 noon Jan 20 2017.
My thanks to John Tng @ http://www.fivedoves.com ( John is extremely gifted in math/ numbers)

[The Grand Nudger]

LOL, More numerolgy eh, and he'll be precisely that old will he - you've worked it down to the second based off of his "fake" birth certificate? How, praytell - would you have done the math?

Use your fuckin head Proff.