(August 9, 2016 at 10:46 am)Rextos Wrote: cool thing about atheism is you really see how life works and its nice to know that you can choose to live and if you don't like it you always have the option to commit suicide without any fear of hell after you die - but either ways you know that it is only a matter of time before you die anyways, and time doesn't stop so ya might as well hang in there cus if you end up paralyzed for life that will be a REAL hell! 

but i am 27 years old and i know that girls like guys who are confident - i understand it at all tbh, i guess being super hot but having low confidence = being fat and ugly with average confidence? 

but as an atheist now it all makes 100% sense, its all SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!! - you see maybe i like girls with nice butts and round mommy boobies, because my instincts are telling me this broad can carry children nicely? and maybe girls like guys with lots of money and confidence cus their instincts tell them that this guy can provide me with money and stuff and also protect me and secure the future my myself and my child. 

but i feel like lot of guys just fake the confidence, cus they try to act confident and say lame ass things, and i can see right through their bullshit - but i guess girl's instincts can't? 

also how can i become asexual? because - i feel like maybe asexuality is kind of a genetic failsafe. because life is survival of the fittest, but what if an organism realizes that it is not fit to reproduce, does it at that point have a cognitive dissonance and just lose the desire to get a girlfriend?

because the thing is i know girls don't like me beacuse of my confidence and social anxiety and mental illness - and i spent years working on it, but im so tired and tbh i am happy with how i am and i really don't care if i stutter when i talk when i first meet people cus once i get comfortable with them i am ok, but since survival of the fittest immediately puts that as a red flag, girls don't like me - but the problem is my subconscious mind did not innate the asexual protocols - so now i am stuck unable to get a girlfriend, but i still really want to bone the hell out of a nice hot girl with a fit nice ass nice and mommy boobies...what do i do??

Ever heard of porn?

One thing about this particular discussion is that asexuality is not always defined as lack of sexual drive, but rather lack of sexual attraction towards others.

Did OP disappear?

(August 10, 2016 at 12:51 pm)Irrational Wrote: One thing about this particular discussion is that asexuality is not always defined as lack of sexual drive, but rather lack of sexual attraction towards others.

True, but again celibacy or repressing your attraction to others is different from not having any.

(August 10, 2016 at 12:52 pm)FatAndFaithless Wrote: Did OP disappear?

I did suggest he try porn, so maybe he's wanking himself happy.

I wish all wankers a happy wanking. I'm benevolent like that.

(August 10, 2016 at 11:30 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: Sublimating sexual energy is not removing your sex drive.

It is if you don't have sexual feelings at all.  Because that's what "drive" means.

(August 10, 2016 at 1:06 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote:

(August 10, 2016 at 12:51 pm)Irrational Wrote: One thing about this particular discussion is that asexuality is not always defined as lack of sexual drive, but rather lack of sexual attraction towards others.

True, but again celibacy or repressing your attraction to others is different from not having any.

I don't know what you mean by not having any. Like benny just said, you can make yourself not "have any". That's not repression and it's not "celibacy". Those are different things altogether. Repression is an act of trying to ignore your sexual feelings, whereas we're talking about taking them out of the picture completely, not even feeling their absence. And celibacy describes the usual aftereffect of that, depending on how long you keep it up, but not it.  If I were to guess, you know this, but you still insist on pretending you don't for whatever reason.

If you don't have a drive you don't have a drive. If you do have a drive you do have a drive.

If you sublimate your desires that doesn't equate to not having those desires, it equates to sublimating them.

Repressed desires are still desires. The subconscious part of the mind exists.

Bah why do I bother arguing this is ridiculous. You can't just repress yourself and then pretend like that part of yourself doesn't exist. If people have a sex drive they have a sex drive and resisting that drive's urges consistently to the point where you are no longer aware of your urges doesn't mean they don't exist. Sexual people have sex drives whether they resist or repress their urges or not.

/rant

Ugh.

(August 10, 2016 at 1:52 pm)Excited Penguin Wrote: I don't know what you mean by not having any. Like benny just said, you can make yourself not "have any". That's not repression and it's not "celibacy". Those are different things altogether. Repression is an act of trying to ignore your sexual feelings, whereas we're talking about taking them out of the picture completely, not even feeling their absence.

That IS repression. Repression is when you suppress your desires to such an extent that they become subonscious so you are no longer aware of them on the conscious level. It's why it can cause psychological issues, because the problem ends up expressing itself in more covert ways because you have suppressed it to the level of the subconscious.