This

I can safely tell them anything in confidence

And this
If I needed them, they would do everything in their power to help me

Is what makes me provide an honest answer to the question. There's no such person, nor do I think there could be. I don't think anyone could ever fulfill the last part, that's insane. So either rob gotta change his OP or I think the lot of you are lying when you claim there are people who fit the bill in that way.

(September 1, 2016 at 10:12 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:

(September 1, 2016 at 10:04 pm)Stimbo Wrote: See, that wouldn't work for me. The eyes are what attract me and make me fall in love with a person, so they could tell me anything and I'd just accept it.

Apart from "fuck off and stop staring into my eyes, you fucking creep."

If people respond to you like that, kill them with an axe.

Funnily enough, it's when I get my chopper out that things get complicated and policey.

(September 1, 2016 at 2:23 pm)Losty Wrote:

(September 1, 2016 at 2:02 pm)abaris Wrote: I'm very well aware that there's no such thing as anonymity on the internet. That however doesn't mean that I'm sharing all my personal details and predicaments with the whole world. I'm not on facebook or any other social platform. For one because the virtual company there doesn't interest me at all. And secondly because I know that it's a giant and glorified marketing profile generator at it's base.

In that aspect AF is one of the better places. But still, I don't see any reason to spill my personal beans here for everyone to see. A little bit, yes, but certainly not everything that makes or breaks me as a person.

Haha you missed my point entirely. I'm not talking about what you would share. I was only saying that it is possible to build real meaningful relationships over the Internet with people you've never met. Sure there's always a slight risk even then, but so is there afk. People can lie to you in person too.

And on this note I'd like to say that Losty as my best friend in the whole world is the person I trust above anyone else (anyone else) I've ever known in the nearly 28 years I've lived. She is my #1 friend and I am extremely lucky to have her as my friend.

And I've never 'met' her. But to me there becomes a point when to say that certain online friendships are not 'RL' starts to sound silly to me.

Agreed. Although part of me would be afraid that hanging out with an AFer over pizza and dry white wine would wind up disappointing, somehow, so I kind of like the buffer that is the screen.

(September 2, 2016 at 12:20 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote:

(September 1, 2016 at 2:23 pm)Losty Wrote: Haha you missed my point entirely. I'm not talking about what you would share. I was only saying that it is possible to build real meaningful relationships over the Internet with people you've never met. Sure there's always a slight risk even then, but so is there afk. People can lie to you in person too.

And on this note I'd like to say that Losty as my best friend in the whole world is the person I trust above anyone else (anyone else) I've ever known in the nearly 28 years I've lived. She is my #1 friend and I am extremely lucky to have her as my friend.

And I've never 'met' her. But to me there becomes a point when to say that certain online friendships are not 'RL' starts to sound silly to me.

Hey, what a coincidence, I like Losty too and I've never met her.  

(September 1, 2016 at 10:04 pm)Stimbo Wrote: See, that wouldn't work for me. The eyes are what attract me and make me fall in love with a person, so they could tell me anything and I'd just accept it.

Apart from "fuck off and stop staring into my eyes, you fucking creep."

I fall in love with voices, and use the eyes as a metric -- because if the voice is spewing bullshit, the eyes will tell you.

(September 1, 2016 at 10:14 pm)Excited Penguin Wrote: This

I can safely tell them anything in confidence

And this
If I needed them, they would do everything in their power to help me

Is what makes me provide an honest answer to the question. There's no such person, nor do I think there could be. I don't think anyone could ever fulfill the last part, that's insane. So either rob gotta change his OP or I think the lot of you are lying when you claim there are people who fit the bill in that way.

... or you have to fall in love, or become a parent.

Or you could just quit trying to think that your experience is the only possible experience, and maybe -- perhaps? -- learn from others?

You're right, that ain't gonna happen. Never mind.

(September 1, 2016 at 3:37 am)robvalue Wrote: I've been thinking about how many people in my life I truly trust. I'm talking about people that I feel I have had enough experiences with that I could vouch for them. I'm sure you know what I mean, but I'm talking about this kind of thing:

I believe that:

-They would never intentionally hurt me
-I can safely tell them anything in confidence
-I would trust them with the safety of others
-They would never betray me, even if they had the perfect opportunity and could get away with it
-If I needed them, they would do everything in their power to help me

And so on.

So the question is: how many people do you know that you would vouch for? I'm not asking people to name their vouchees of course. It can be both people you know "in real life", and online contacts.

I think I have counted 7. I know many other people who I would feel pretty confident trusting, but I just haven't had enough close contact to be able to vouch for them beyond question.

The list was fairly large until I hit the bottom criteria. Everything in their power? What does that mean? Lay down thier life for me? Bankrupt themselves? Look after me 24/7 for years? If you mean drop everything to help me in a jam, five. If it's answering yes to my first three questions, perhaps one, but I'd rather he didn't.

Drop the last criteria and the answer is over 20.

(September 2, 2016 at 12:42 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(September 1, 2016 at 10:14 pm)Excited Penguin Wrote: This

I can safely tell them anything in confidence

And this
If I needed them, they would do everything in their power to help me

Is what makes me provide an honest answer to the question. There's no such person, nor do I think there could be. I don't think anyone could ever fulfill the last part, that's insane. So either rob gotta change his OP or I think the lot of you are lying when you claim there are people who fit the bill in that way.

... or you have to fall in love, or become a parent.

Or you could just quit trying to think that your experience is the only possible experience, and maybe -- perhaps? -- learn from others?

You're right, that ain't gonna happen. Never mind.

You just had to go ahead and be an asshole, you couldn't control yourself.

The thought of someone you're in love with or being a parent didn't cross my mind at the time, but I agree with it now that you mentioned it. Stop being a fucking dick to me and try and imagine that I can fuck up too.

(September 2, 2016 at 12:20 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: But to me there becomes a point when to say that certain online friendships are not 'RL' starts to sound silly to me.

True love happens when you are together in silence inside the moment.

How do you recognize that moment online?