Trite but true, 'tis better to be liked for who you are than who you aren't.

I'm not saying I think this is the case, but just in case it is, you never have to feel like you have to please me Hammy. I love you just the way you are - even if I'm not around much these days to say it - and it's not conditional

Can I just say....

I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you when you were around; I just trashed you like you were nothing.
Now, I miss how you much you warmed my bones.

Come back, summertime. Give me another chance....please!

I... I...I love you. Okay?
Do you know how hard it was for me to say that? 

I'm trying!

(September 7, 2016 at 1:17 am)Emjay Wrote: I'm not saying I think this is the case, but just in case it is, you never have to feel like you have to please me Hammy. I love you just the way you are - even if I'm not around much these days to say it - and it's not conditional

I love you too. I miss you.

Everyone leaves

(September 7, 2016 at 1:35 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote:

(September 7, 2016 at 1:17 am)Emjay Wrote: I'm not saying I think this is the case, but just in case it is, you never have to feel like you have to please me Hammy. I love you just the way you are - even if I'm not around much these days to say it - and it's not conditional

I love you too. I miss you.

Everyone leaves

I know it sucks sometimes but everything changes... everything has it's time and place and nothing lasts forever. That's perhaps the biggest Buddhist message of them all; everything is transient. I'm not gone I'm just going... dialing back. But it doesn't have to mean the end of a friendship... I have friends I don't see for years at a time but when I do see them we can just pick up where we left off as if I'd only seen them yesterday. That I think is the mark of a true friendship... and I think/hope we've got that sort of friendship

Emjay Wrote:I have friends I don't see for years at a time but when I do see them we can just pick up where we left off as if I'd only seen them yesterday. That I think is the mark of a true friendship...

That's a beautiful message of hope to me.

Emjay Wrote:[...]and I think/hope we've got that sort of friendship

Of course we have. You're, like, one of my nexties

I felt less close to you because of all the distance... but now I think you're right. We can still be close even when we don't talk as much. I think if we talked all the time we'd eventually get sick of each other.

Again, I love you Squishy

CIJSAIJBH

Fear of abandonment as you know and as I have said: is my second biggest fear. My biggest fear was drifting apart. But now I'm starting to think that my fear of drifting apart was completely irrational and if I wasn't so afraid of it it would have never happened. Now my biggest fear is getting too close because I think that's how drifting apart happens. But closeness is also ultimately my biggest desire. So I think I just need to lose all these fears and be me.

Who knows, perhaps distance can bring closeness and closeness can bring distance. I think it's all about health and balance. Ultimately friends are close because of who they are.... and who they are deep down-- not who they become when they've lost the balance.

This is about as close to poetry as I get. I hope someone out there appreciates it

We had a bad day. I don't know why.

I don't know what to SAY. And it's driving me INSANE.

CIJSAIJBH

You're nothing like me and I wish I'd never related to you. You fuck with my head.

CIJSAIJBH:

I love more than one person. I have one super love that will never go away but I love several people and have compassion for all.

And CIJS: I did get obsessed. You're right. Or at least: I got attached. I tried to prevent it a long long while ago... when someone I am close to gets attached it's hard for me to not attach harder. I tried to prevent it. When we both tried it was then too late. Nothing lasts forever but never say never.

Music I adore to go with how I'm feeling:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovrLT6jIqao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KWAxFtIeJw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3tE3CUGP3o