(October 13, 2016 at 5:38 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 5:04 pm)Drich Wrote: I am not sure what you are refering... if you are going to quote me I ask you do it contextually.

I offer a initial talking point. one frought with many potential questions.

When I first started this, I would answer any and all questions I would think anyone could have.. but I quickly learned each one of you is different. meaning I could post something that answers every possible angle and you all would still ask me the same questions if I said nothing at all. AND if you follow this thread you will see I have answered the same questions multiple times. Which again is why I offer an initial topic and have always fielded every serious single follow up Question ever posted as far as i know.

maybe troll for a rule violation somewhere else.

And I offered a reply to which, so far, you have declined to respond to.  It was the only one you skipped over, in fact.

Must of missed it which post number?

(October 13, 2016 at 5:47 pm)Thena323 Wrote: [quote='Drich' pid='1415803' dateline='1476392328']

then please define the two..

I'm sorry..is something wrong with your Google? Stop being complacent and go make an effort.

Quote:I see decency as something that will ultimately free a person from a chain or shackle/something like this from which the bind themselves. even if like medcine it taste bad up front.

Your depth of perception is what I was asking for not the societal standard. because as I see it if you insist on using those words you must have redefined them to make them work... Or you are so near sighted that you have abandoned any long term effect.

Quote:Who are you to presume that Nymph is still in shackles over the event.

I did not assume anything. I labeled her having to relive the event and needing a day or two and not even being able to play 'mafia' as being shackled.. But your right I could be wrong, she could just be trying to use this event to manipulate emotion and support.. I wouldn't personally think someone would do this, but maybe you have deeper incite than I do.

Quote: Because she got angry at your VINDICTIVE response, which you clearly made in an effort to ridicule her? So what? 

Anger is not the issue. Anger can be a cleansing agent. if your goal is to not be angry.

Quote:That doesn't mean that she's as emotionally scarred by it, as when it first happened. Maybe that just means you're an asshole, asshole.

And, you have no clue as to the lengths people here are willing to go to help fellow board members. Are you privy to all of the PMs and outside correspondence and interactions board member's have with each other? No? 

You are right, but at the same time I am well aware of the the quality of effort being offered if these post are any indication of what is being offered in a PM. Which again is not the point or issue. If one wants more of the same to help them cope.. then what ever it takes.. I again am simply offering an alternative.

How arrogant are you to assume that everyone wants or needs what you or the consensus of this board is offering in the way of support.

Quote:Then, stfu. Your know-nothingness is showing.

Besides, are you offering something in the way of help, besides peddling your religious yabba-dabba, and generally flapping your gums? What is it?
Why is it so remarkable?

I've already outline the first step several times is in helping the abused reclaim power and even helping redirect some of the humiliation and shame into a form of honor and duty, in an effort to recapture some of the dignity that was lost.

Then we all must learn to properly grieve the loss, with out letting it consume us. As their is a part that has died, but in the vein of letting the dead bury the dead we can not remain/sacrifice the rest of the being die with the relatively small part that was taken away. When we offer platitudes and condolences when a story like this is offered, if the person is not in any type of recovery it offers them fuel to remain in this grieving process. I am assuming this happened years (more than 5) if not decades ago. I pushed to see if anyone needed help. someone does. You all want to throw logs of "support/pity" on this fire of grief that has not been extinguished. And again I can say that because of her retreat. which would indicate that she has never moved past any of this.

The rest does indeed center around alot of yabba dabba so I'll let the rest go at that.

Quote:DON'T use your personal transformation as a testament to the efficacy of your "approach"; because you're a motherfucker.

So your saying it is better for a victim to suffer daily even contemplate suicide if that person, can not recover in a way that allows you a third party no body to feel good about how you approach a rape victim?

If not then why is any method of successful recovery being taken off the table?

How self righteous and petty is that? that you would deny access to something that you a bystander who has no part in any of the suffering and shame, gets to dictate what can be offered and what can't be offered because you a 3rd party is made to feel bad about their 1/2 ass approach?

(October 13, 2016 at 6:03 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 12:50 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote: No, no.  Let's not try to wiggle away from your nasty assertion here.  You could have come into the discussion advocating for one of two general positions:

"Sexual assault victims should either -

1. Come forward and report their assault as soon as possible, even in the face of understandable fear, pain, and shame.  It may be difficult, but it's the best thing for their healing process, and it increases the likelihood that the rapist will be prevented from committing more crimes.

OR

2. Victims should do whatever they feel is best for their healing, even if that means keeping their trauma to themselves, and never coming forward."

That would be a perfectly fine topic of discussion, and you could provide evidence for which ever stance you take on the issue.  But no.  That's NOT what you did, is it?  You barged in and said:

"If you didn't report your rape, then you're lying!"

You single-handedly invalidated the assaults of hundreds of thousands of victims all over the country, including the assault of a member on this forum who has bravely opened up about her trauma.  You called Nymph a liar, and then you acted baffled as to why she got upset with you.  THEN you deflected her anger back onto HER, accusing her of playing the victim-role, instead of taking responsibility for your words.

@Drich, this one ^

Whoa... where did I say any of that?

Or is that all that you can see?

I need a citation a literal untouched quote, and a post number most of my first thoughts were from page 3 forward.

Show me where I called anyone a liar or said any of the things you claimed i said or simply admit you are having to change the narritive inorder for your straw man witch hunt to work.

Can't you see if you have to change my words to make me seem evil enough to direct the hate you have in your heart towards me, that your actions in changing my narrative is the only true evil being perpetrated? you are literally bearing false witness inorder to justify your witch hunt. What happenes when I smack you back with the truth? are you then going to try and rejustify your hate with the mental gymnastics you used to change what I actually said to what you wish I had said? Sorry Mr. Clinton I am not one of the brain washed idiots who must rely on your interpretation of truth and fact inorder to discern what is and is not happening. I know what I said and why I said it. Your "quoting skills" would have been counter productive to my larger point.

I am not like you. I don't speak from emotion. I speak from a foundation and build on it, sparking debate and discussion along the way giving people an opportunity to THINK outside of their boxes. What this does not allow me to do is just to speak randomly. Everything is carfully worded inorder to challenge what you all take for granted. That is how I know you lied and misquoted me. Because again one you can not find what you said i said anywhere, and two it is counter productive to my whole interaction to this thread.

Now imagine what would happen if I admit to being apart of this thread 5 years down the line, but there were no way to prove what i did say and didn't say... And all we have to go one was someone who was mad at me and all we had was your recollection to go off of and my own word...
Here and now you 'feel' if you are on the side of right and morality even though I can show you had to literally lie/misquote me to come to your position of self righteousness.

What happens 5 10 years down the road in the case of a mishandled sexual relationship with one partner feels as you do and there is no proof?

(October 13, 2016 at 6:30 pm)Thena323 Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 5:12 pm)Drich Wrote: it depends on the person.

There is one of me and at any given time 10 or 15 of you.

What works for the majority today may fail tomorrow, or someone catching up a week from now.

But it may work with the person who simply lurks and never posts anything.

No, I'm talking about YOU, dummy.

You're not well-adjusted by any stretch of the imagination, Drich. You're actually quite fucked up emotionally; that much is evident.
Any attempts to "learn" someone, would more likely hurt them, than help.

You are confusing one's ablity to choose to be apart of a greater social order and one's mandate/duty toward pop morality...

Your words mean nothing unless you can demonstrate that being 'well-adjusted' in this current generation's social order is indeed the one and only standard from which all society must be judged.. What a pitiful elitist view.

Example: In an Islamic state showing distain for Jihad shows a maladjustment towards that soceity.

In Nazi Germany harboring Jews shows a maladjustment towards that soceity.

In Clinton's purposed America Showing disdain for 3rd trimester abortions on viable babies shows "A deep seated religious view that will not be tolerated and will be changed."

My recovery would allow me to live under any three of these regimes. However my personal conviction would have me not participate in what society demand I do inorder to show my allegiance to a given culture's morality.

Let me slow it down just incase...

How can you say I am not 'well adjusted' if you are grading on a different standard? all you can say is I do not comply to what your standard is. You cant say with any honesty or truth behind your words your standard is better, right or any degree higher or lower than my own.. All you can say with any truth is that mine is different.

Therefore the question becomes can I operate under your rules and still maintain my own standards? 4 years and nearly 10,000 posts say yes i can. Meaning I can socially adapt and curb my beliefs to sucessfully operate in a 'different culture.' i can adjust to fit with in your rules so long as they remain static. I simply do not swear my soul to your rules.

Now let's contrast the one example of someone from your side of the fence who has claimed to experienced what I had...

Do they or more specifically can you take a live and let live (do whatever it takes approach) to recovery?
Can you allow anyone else to have a different approach or must they conform to what you think is right?
Can you honestly support the the accused position/the raper after being the victim? (the need for SoL)
Can you champion your position after being hated to the same degree as I have?

Seems to me your own inflexibility to see this topic only one way makes you the maladjusted one.

(October 14, 2016 at 9:04 am)Vic Wrote:

(October 14, 2016 at 7:02 am)Iroscato Wrote: Who the hell is Drich?

I kind of always imagined him as a Grinch, only yellow and with sunflower petals coming out of his head

Great to see you back again!

(October 13, 2016 at 8:02 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(October 11, 2016 at 12:40 pm)Drich Wrote: Here's a thought...

IF it takes a woman or man waits 5 years to report a rape... it wasn't.

If someone drills you in the can and you seriously did not want to be drilled in the can, then why wait over 5 years to report it?

It is far more likely that alleged 'victim' seeks or see to further benefit from said can drilling by changing their consent status. After all how can one prove consent? Now how can one prove consent after such a long time? oh, that's right they don't say anything for more than 5 years.

So how does NY have a statute of limitations on rape? Because at one time the state law makers had a modicum of common sense.

There are a lot of reasons why women don't report being raped. It is not an uncommon thing at all. If there is enough evidence to support the rape years after it happened, I don't see why it can't be investigated and the criminal brought to justice.

What is so hard to understand that you can not prove intent, or more specifically consent? one day after... let alone 5 years later.

Consent is the only difference between sex and rape.

And consent because it is in the mind with no absolute DNA clad proof tied to it can be changed as an after thought especially when tied to emotion. Look at Lady for campus' posts for an example of truth being traded to support an emotion built narrative.

The ONLY (not good) but ONLY means we have to discern consent is time.

Meaning if there was a rape it has been determined that in the state of NY that 5 years separates sex from rape.

Rape being defined as unlawful sexual activity.

When I say if in the state of new york (or any state with a SoL) a Rape is not Reported with in that SoL, the sexual act can not be identified as unlawful, as the law allows only a ______ year window to report said rape. Therefore in the eyes of the law despite what happened the sex act can not be considered unlawful. It becomes unwanted sex.

(October 14, 2016 at 9:45 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: I often wonder what the deal is with that creepily innocuous avatar of his.

It's a flower garden Trich grew shortly after we were married, and she was taken off to rehab. At that point my family had turned on me for supporting her recovery, and not getting a divorce. (big trailer park type shouting match where my dad tried to have me arrested from drugs, because he was sure if "she was on em he was on em.")

 Between those two things and everything else going on at the time I finally broke down and prayed for mercy.. I could only mutter two words... God, Mercy... Over and over.. That one sunflower grew taller than my house and bloomed into a basket ball sized monster.. (Sunflowers were my wife's fav flower, i had to take a pic of it because she was 2 weeks into a month long rehab less than a month from our wedding day) from that day forward it started to get better.

I use it here as a reminder, that no matter how dark you guys get, it is nothing compared to what God has already carried me through.

(October 14, 2016 at 12:39 pm)Drich Wrote:

(October 13, 2016 at 8:02 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: There are a lot of reasons why women don't report being raped. It is not an uncommon thing at all. If there is enough evidence to support the rape years after it happened, I don't see why it can't be investigated and the criminal brought to justice.

What is so hard to understand that you can not prove intent, or more specifically consent? one day after... let alone 5 years later.

Consent is the only difference between sex and rape.

And consent because it is in the mind with no absolute DNA clad proof tied to it can be changed as an after thought especially when tied to emotion. Look at Lady for campus' posts for an example of truth being traded to support an emotion built narrative.

The ONLY (not good) but ONLY means we have to discern consent is time.

Meaning if there was a rape it has been determined that in the state of NY that 5 years separates sex from rape.

Rape being defined as unlawful sexual activity.

When I say if in the state of new york (or any state with a SoL) a Rape is not Reported with in that SoL, the sexual act can not be identified as unlawful, as the law allows only a ______ year window to report said rape. Therefore in the eyes of the law despite what happened the sex act can not be considered unlawful. It becomes unwanted sex.

I think there may still be ways. For example, if the girl goes to the hospital after the rape and it is documented that she has tears in her genitals and scars/bruises and that she is in an emotional state of extreme distress or shock. Or if there are witnesses who come forward, and/or video evidence (sickeningly enough, rape of unconsciously drunk girls in college and high school parties do get recorded sometimes). 

IF there is enough evidence (and that's a big if), I don't think there should be a time limit to seek justice for it. And I can definitely see how there could still be evidence years later.

(October 14, 2016 at 12:51 pm)Drich Wrote:

(October 14, 2016 at 9:45 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: I often wonder what the deal is with that creepily innocuous avatar of his.

It's a flower garden Trich grew shortly after we were married, and she was taken off to rehab. At that point my family had turned on me for supporting her recovery, and not getting a divorce. (big trailer park type shouting match where my dad tried to have me arrested from drugs, because he was sure if "she was on em he was on em.")

 Between those two things and everything else going on at the time I finally broke down and prayed for mercy.. I could only mutter two words... God, Mercy... Over and over.. That one sunflower grew taller than my house and bloomed into a basket ball sized monster.. (Sunflowers were my wife's fav flower, i had to take a pic of it because she was 2 weeks into a month long rehab less than a month from our wedding day) from that day forward it started to get better.

I use it here as a reminder, that no matter how dark you guys get, it is nothing compared to what God has already carried me through.

We may have our differences and I may feel very disappointed in the manner in which you addressed Judi's situation, but that does not take away either one of our humanities. 

I am very sorry for what you went through in your past. I hope you are in a better place now.

The only crime that has no statute is murder. The reason there are limits on all other crimes isn't to protect the accused but to protect society including the innocent that might might get accused from an over zealous government. Innocent people do end up accused and wrongly convicted