6/10

I'm bored, annoyed, and have no idea what to do for a big Science Fair due in 1 week along with other projects.

(November 6, 2016 at 12:42 am)Losty Wrote: I'm feeling a bit...raw I guess. My cousin sent me a text today...an image of her face with a black swollen eye "I don't know what to, he says if I don't go back he's going to kill my dog" came shortly after. In the frenzy of trying to figure out if she was safe came more. A snap chat screenshot of him...killing her dog...and then another of him cutting up her clothes. The police were called but they said they didn't find a dog. She was too afraid to meet them there so they could help her get her stuff. I wanted to jump in the car and go get her but my body just can't handle the 14 hour drive. A sick sick man he is.

Then just now a close friend called. Her son killed himself. God he was always so bright and happy and outgoing. What? How can this be? But his note told a different story, of a kid with secrets he was too afraid to say that he's been having sex with the man next door..too ashamed. He thought no one loves him. They're coming over because they don't want to stay in their house. I've got to find my brave face in the meantime and try not to fall to pieces.

Christ, Losty ... that's awful.

I hope cousin's bf/hubby/asshole gets put away for a while.

Feeling frustrated and downbeat and overwhelmed by idiocy. Feeling alone and contemptuous. Feeling bitter. Not feeling myself. Feeling rather misanthropic. FML.

I just want someone to relate to.

And speaking of which I miss Gemini already

I think I'm inevitably gonna start internet dating at some point. Fuck RL but I'll be looking for an online relationship.

I just feel so alone and so misunderstood. FML.

(November 6, 2016 at 1:40 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: I think I'm inevitably gonna start internet dating at some point. Fuck RL but I'll be looking for an online relationship.

I just feel so alone and so misunderstood. FML.

Better get your act together first. You give the impression of constantly fishing for compliments by asking everyone what you should do.

Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I'm not the most secure person at the moment and I'm determined to erase and rewind. The first step is already taken in quitting the job I hated for the last 20 years. The next step is to see a lot of doctors my social security provides to get me back on some kind of track.

Only then I will consider what to do in the future. I have a few ideas, but I'm not entirely sure as of yet. Right now I just want to shed this old hull because it kills me.

I am not the impression I give. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was more interested in how I appear than how I am. I would want to be loved for the real me.

I don't care if it seems like I'm fishing for compliments, I'm not fishing for compliments. I don't care if it seems like I am worried what people think, I've already said that I'm not and that I'm just curious. I'm not interested in anyone who doubts whether I mean what I say I mean when I say explicitly that I do mean what I say I mean.

But if you give the impression here, how do you think to come over at online dating? I'm sure you're more than you appear to be on an internet forum, but that's the impression you give on the internet.

Remember I want to be loved for the real me, not the impression I give. I am not my impression.

I'm fully myself here on AF but I am not entirely responsible for the impression I give because I'm often misunderstood. I'm the same everywhere. The less conclusions jumped to shallowly the better.

There are those that see the real me, and those are the people I value the most.

Is it bad that if Trump were killed I literally wouldn't be able to give the most meagre thrust of a fuck, even if I wanted to?

Probably bad. I don't care.