I'm so sorry for your loss, CL. No one in this world deserves to lose a baby, no one.

I'm so sorry CL. I will agree that one pregnancy does not indicate a pattern.

Let me also say that my oldest was born with Down syndrome. Despite a bunch of medical issues, her "disability" of having Down syndrome has not stopped her from becoming a beautiful and wonderful young lady. She's now 21 and has a great quality of life.

And...seven years after I had her, I went on to have a healthy baby girl, with no problems, who now, at the age of 14, simply has a smart mouth due to being a teenager. She makes the Distinguished Honor Roll every marking period in school and is in all advanced, honors classes.

I wouldn't lose all hope yet. I was 24 when I had my first one and 31 when I had my second one.

Hugs, my friend.

Your feelings are, I think, normal for someone who had a traumatic experience like this, we had them as well after our experience, and we will likely have them again, hopefully less severe. We had decided that we wanted a kid, but we were very scared about the prospect of having to survive another 9 months, including all the possible health scares and sorrows that go with it.
If the geneticist gives the ok, I find it very unlikely that a problem like the one you had would occur again, there's just no reason.

Thank you for the kind words, condolences, and encouragements/reassurance. I needed that today.

(November 17, 2016 at 3:41 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Thank you for the kind words, condolences, and encouragements/reassurance. I needed that today.

(November 17, 2016 at 2:42 pm)Minimalist Wrote:

Quote:poor brain development, delayed anatomical development, an enlarged and dysfunctional placenta,

There are much finer medical minds than mine on this board but I can certainly see how #3 could cause #'s 1 and 2.  I don't know if this will help but you might look it over.

http://www.healthline.com/health/placent...ufficiency

Quote:Outlook

Placental insufficiency can’t be cured, but it can be managed. It’s extremely important to receive an early diagnosis and adequate prenatal care. These can improve the baby’s chances of normal growth and decrease the risks of birth complications. According to Mount Sinai Hospital, the best outlook occurs when the condition is caught between 12 and 20 weeks. 

Your OB-GYN should be your first point of contact.

Good luck, dear.

Thank you Min, you are 100% correct. 

The placental insufficiency was causing the developmental problems and it was also the reason he died... as he was not getting the proper nutrients. Our hope was to find an answer as to why the placenta was bad. Also, while placental insufficiency explains the developmental problems, it does not explain the possible spina bifida if he had it, or the facial deformities. So I fear there were multiple issues at play. 

A problem was first identified during his 18 week sonogram, and initially we thought it was down syndrome with physical defects as well. It wasn't until 20 weeks that we were able to diagnose the placental insufficiency and rule out Down Syndrome with a DNA test of the amniotic fluid (they stuck a needle in my belly to extract some). Unfortunately his condition was severe enough at that point that there was nothing that could be done, and that's when they told me he wouldn't make it to term.

(November 17, 2016 at 3:26 pm)Nymphadora Wrote: I'm so sorry CL. I will agree that one pregnancy does not indicate a pattern.

Let me also say that my oldest was born with Down syndrome. Despite a bunch of medical issues, her "disability" of having Down syndrome has not stopped her from becoming a beautiful and wonderful young lady. She's now 21 and has a great quality of life.

And...seven years after I had her, I went on to have a healthy baby girl, with no problems, who now, at the age of 14, simply has a smart mouth due to being a teenager. She makes the Distinguished Honor Roll every marking period in school and is in all advanced, honors classes.

I wouldn't lose all hope yet. I was 24 when I had my first one and 31 when I had my second one.

Hugs, my friend.

I've seen pictures of your daughter and she is beautiful. If I may ask, when/how did you find out she had Downs? And how did you handle it emotionally?

Wow really seems like you're going through a lot right now, this must be terribly difficult for you. Sorry to hear about all of this.

Best wishes and thoughts to you CL, I cannot imagine how difficult all of this must have been, and continues to be.

I don't know if you are interested in advice, and if this is too forward, please just ignore it. I think you should talk to your husband about your feelings. Perhaps they will change if you give yourself a little more time to mourn, but you shouldn't feel rushed into a pregnancy you aren't ready for. I don't know how old you are, but women can and do have healthy pregnancies commonly into mid to late 30's nowadays, so unless you are like 38, don't feel rushed. I've known women who have lost babies and then born perfectly healthy ones after, so agree with others on that. But your emotional readiness is very important, too, don't ignore your own feelings on the matter.

Again, best wishes and hugs!

Catholic Lady, I'm really sorry to see this. I didn't know about your pregnancy, as I've only recently begun spending more time here. My wife miscarried in '88 but managed to bear our youngest in '89. No cause was ever found in our case, either. Hopefully everything is OK and you can try again.