She doesn't need their permission to drop the friendship.

(January 26, 2017 at 11:52 pm)pool the great Wrote:

(January 26, 2017 at 11:41 pm)Mamacita Wrote: I don't entertain racist, homophobic, or otherwise bully ideas. I also don't entertain people who do.

Did these people tell you they entertain racist, homophobic, or otherwise bully ideas?

I'm trying to respond in a non sarcastic manner.

I can't.

Yes, Pool. These specific people told me straight out that they're racist homophobe bullies of people with cerebral palsy and so I broke up with them.

People don't need to say something like that. This is something that can be implied. Something that can be obvious after a deep conversation. This is something that can be visible in many ways. I'm not one to play with small talk, so if I had a conversation that lead me to take certain conclusions, it's damn well based on something. But say I had my doubts. All it takes is to ask them if they know that this man made fun of a dude with cerebral palsy. If they say yes and still think he's fit to be president, that's all I need to know. YES. It's that BIG of a deal to me. No. I'm not shy about saying it. So what now?

You just plain rock, Mama.

(January 27, 2017 at 12:38 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: You just plain rock, Mama.

A very long term friend of mine is in (I hope) a temporary phase of 'Trump derangement syndrome' to the extent I think he's on the verge of needing professional counseling for paranoia or worse. He's let me know he's been odious to Trump supporters he's encountered, and I wouldn't be surprised at some point if he runs a car off the highway that is sporting a Trump sticker or gets escorted off an airline flight for refusing to sit next to someone he thinks smells like a Trump voter.

Hell, he voted for Ross Perot back in the day, and I clearly recall being unhappy about that, but I didn't nag him about it. He's usually calmer than me, this thing he's expressing is concerning, not sure what to think about it.

I just know I'm getting real tired of it. There's a zillion things we can talk about besides that, and he's not picking up on that's where I want to go . . .

Ordinarily, I would state that one should attempt to understand the other point of view.

However, when the other point of view is as ignorant as support for a man who will destroy America, then I state that censorship is merely cowardice.

(January 27, 2017 at 12:25 am)Mamacita Wrote:

(January 26, 2017 at 11:52 pm)pool the great Wrote: Did these people tell you they entertain racist, homophobic, or otherwise bully ideas?

I'm trying to respond in a non sarcastic manner.

I can't.

Yes, Pool. These specific people told me straight out that they're racist homophobe bullies of people with cerebral palsy and so I broke up with them.

People don't need to say something like that. This is something that can be implied. Something that can be obvious after a deep conversation. This is something that can be visible in many ways. I'm not one to play with small talk, so if I had a conversation that lead me to take certain conclusions, it's damn well based on something. But say I had my doubts. All it takes is to ask them if they know that this man made fun of a dude with cerebral palsy. If they say yes and still think he's fit to be president, that's all I need to know. YES. It's that BIG of a deal to me. No. I'm not shy about saying it. So what now?

All I know is these "racism" and "homophobic" type of things are extremely subjective. I could text my friend "wassup ma nigga" and not be called a racist but if I say that to an sensitive person it'll hurt them and they'll call me a racist. Same with homophobia, misogyny, androgyny and every other buzz word on the book. So it seems to me that when you say you cut ties with someone because they're a racist, homophobic etc it just translates "I just don't like him". I mean I'm not asking you to explain your decision, you don't have to and besides you can't explain why you like hanging out with certain people anyway, you just have the same vibe, you mesh really well and soon enough you're kicking off

(January 23, 2017 at 11:16 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(January 23, 2017 at 4:51 pm)abaris Wrote: Someone to trust, someone I can call at 4 in the morning for help, someone to share my secrets. All on a mutual basis.

My mother has a plaque hanging in her garage that reads, "A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A real friend is someone who's sitting next to you saying, 'Man, wasn't that fun?'"

And my dad used to say, "A friend isn't someone who tells you what you want to hear, a friend is someone who tells you what you need to hear."

Heh. Mine was fond of saying, ' A friend won't turn you in for murder. A real friend will bring the lime and help you dig the hole.'

Boru

I've always felt that you owe a real friend who hasn't deliberately hurt you beyond reason (knowingly slept with your S.O., stole your wallet, planted weed on you, shit like that) a chance to talk it out and lay on the line what's bugging you before you walk, give them a chance to make whatever case they might have. After hearing you, it might be them that decides to walk. This only applies to real friends, though; you can't owe a heart-to-heart to everyone you don't actively dislike.

(January 27, 2017 at 10:47 am)Mister Agenda Wrote: I've always felt that you owe a real friend who hasn't deliberately hurt you beyond reason (knowing slept with your S.O., stole your wallet, planted weed on you, shit like that) a chance to talk it out and lay on the line what's bugging you before you walk, give them a chance to make whatever case they might have. After hearing you, it might be them that decides to walk. This only applies to real friends, though; you can't owe a heart-to-heart to everyone you don't actively dislike.

I'm cool with this. Yeah, sure. Why not?