So, I've been denying my atheism for years, but man, I just can't do it anymore. That said, there's a reason I've been avoiding it. I'm terrified right now. I don't get how anyone's supposed to be happy like this.

I feel like...all I can do is cope with life now. I don't see what there is to look forward to, or to take reassurance in. Everything just seems empty.

(Why yes, I'm on meds and seeing a counselor. Doesn't help much.)

Pray for redemption or suck it up.

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You might want to try to be more specific. What religion was it that you gave up? How long ago? What has you so scared?

(November 3, 2017 at 12:47 am)Rayden_Greywolf Wrote: So, I've been denying my atheism for years, but man, I just can't do it anymore. That said, there's a reason I've been avoiding it. I'm terrified right now. I don't get how anyone's supposed to be happy like this.

I feel like...all I can do is cope with life now. I don't see what there is to look forward to, or to take reassurance in. Everything just seems empty.

(Why yes, I'm on meds and seeing a counselor. Doesn't help much.)

if everything is empty, then you get to fill it with whatever you want, just use your imagination... isn't that freedom great?

There is no afterlife. You'd better make the most of this one. 

Is the fear you feel based on a religious fantasy falsehood? Think about it.

You could go back to the bullshit promises that can't be proven or substantiated.

(November 3, 2017 at 12:47 am)Rayden_Greywolf Wrote: So, I've been denying my atheism for years, but man, I just can't do it anymore. That said, there's a reason I've been avoiding it. I'm terrified right now. I don't get how anyone's supposed to be happy like this.

I feel like...all I can do is cope with life now. I don't see what there is to look forward to, or to take reassurance in. Everything just seems empty.

(Why yes, I'm on meds and seeing a counselor. Doesn't help much.)

The first thing to keep in mind about atheism, IMO, is that it is neither a goal in itself nor very consequential at all.

Happiness for us comes from, far as I can tell, pretty much the same channels as anyone else's.  It just turns out to be unhindered by reliance on promises of afterlives and painful Stockholm Syndrome-like negotiations with others.

I take it that you used to value afterlife expectations or something comparable?

What are you unhappy with?

Also, welcome to our little band of heathens.

I've been an atheist all my life. It helped me with two things especially, my resistance to being "programmed" and my lack of worry about whether or not I'm offending some imaginary being.

But the most valuable thing I got from being an atheist was all those Sunday morning lie-ins.

(November 3, 2017 at 12:47 am)Rayden_Greywolf Wrote: So, I've been denying my atheism for years, but man, I just can't do it anymore. That said, there's a reason I've been avoiding it. I'm terrified right now. I don't get how anyone's supposed to be happy like this.

I feel like...all I can do is cope with life now. I don't see what there is to look forward to, or to take reassurance in. Everything just seems empty.

(Why yes, I'm on meds and seeing a counselor. Doesn't help much.)

Hi there!

Please ignore the curmudgeons.  They mean well.

I went through quite a bout of anger/depression/fear after finally letting go of God.  I will tell you, it lasted year, and I still get bouts of it.  But it gets better! I swear it.

Likely you are feeling a lot of things.  Fear of death now that the afterlife seems a more remote possibility, lack of inherent meaning, lack of equality of fairness because no one fixes it all, anger that you were lied to or that other people are foolish enough to not see through the lies., etc.  I don't want to put words or ideas in your mind, just trying to point out that it's quite common and normal to have a lot of mixed, negative emotions at this early stage.

I recommend patience and understanding with yourself, and trying to see the humor in it all.  Find like minded people to talk to, and don't give up on yourself! Find things that are meaningful to you, and let those things guide you.

Also, I recommend you watch to This (Julia Sweeney, letting go of God).  I hope it gives you a laugh, and some perspective.

PM me if you need to chat more.  Peace.

Curmudgeon, hey?  Just for that stay to hell off my lawn.