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At the start, and before, there was The Godfather. You can't sneak in anything else. After forever he got bored and he spoke, "There will be an amusementverse". After a year had passed he realised he hadn't created time yet. So he created time, so things could happen, and he tried again. The amusementverse was great but he was not pleased. He could not see it. So he made a light switch, and turned it on. He saw that it was okay, but rather empty.

He made a lot of really awesome stuff to look at. He saw all of his stuff and thought it was pretty okay too but he still wasn't satisfied. He wondered what could make this awesome universe better. Then he had an idea. God found a really tiny rock in his vast universe and zoomed in out it. He created microscopic plants. Then he created microscopic animals that looked all life size, because he was zoomed in. Anyways, God also made mankind and give them rule over the rock. Finally, to be sure that they would procreate he sprinkled a dash of horny dust over the rock.

The horny dust created much sexage. The animals we having a right good old romp. God was pleased. He created the concept of sin. Then he got horny. Then he got pissed off that he had created sin and it made him feel guilty about his horniness. So he edited his sin concept to exclude himself. God was then free to be a horny bastard as much as he wished while the animals started randomly feeling guilty every now and then during their romps. It amused God. It amused God when they felt guilty for no reason at random points. It amused him because he was allowed to be. Even though it was kind of dickish of him. But oh well he's God and he's automatically good and I'm telling the story so just believe me okay? Anyways...

Then he remembers that it was really important to have some main characters. So he killed all the sinful humans, and the rest as well. Then he started again, properly this time. He created Jenna's Sis, out of bits of dead other humans. Then he tweaked her nipple, so that Carl was created. He decided he would become obsessed with these two for the time being.

One day Jenna's sister was gardening near the forbidden strawberry patch when along came a sneaky caterpillar. The caterpillar sneaked up to Jenna's sis. She noticed him several minutes before he arrived at her side and was becoming quite annoyed with him when he finally got next to her. "Really, I can see you and you're not exactly a fast crawler, you can't sneak up on me" she said unto the caterpillar. The caterpillar told Jenna's sister about the strawberry patch. He told her if she ate from it, it would be a good way to get back at the Godfather for sprinkling Carl with too much horny powder. Jenna's sis thought this was a right dandy idea and she began formulating a plan in her mind to trick Carl into eating with her. She thought the best way to trick Carl into eating with him was to exploit his being under the influence of too much horny dust. So she waited in the strawberry patch and called for him. Carl came running over, visibly excited. He found Jenna and her sis lying down naked, suggestively eating strawberries. They picked some for him, making it clear that it was snack first, sex later. At this point he would have eaten his own foot to get with this action, so he tucked into the strawberries. But remember what we said, the big G didn't want them doing this. Well actually he did, so that he could do the thing to them that he'd been wanting to do. So he had to use reverse psychology. Clearly his creations were as dumb as he intended.

The Godfather stomped his angry god feet and stormed down from his mystical invisible hideout where he watches from. He quickly did up his god pants and hope Carl and Jenna's sis wouldn't think about the thing he does when he watches them. He was so angry that he cursed his own creations and he said "grr I'm really angry and I'm gonna curse you!" And so they were cursed. From that moment on Carl would always be thought a pig for his extreme horniness. Even worse, Jenna's sis would step on a Lego quite often and so would all of her children and her children's children and so on for all of eternity. Jenna herself was not punished, because the Great I AmG still refused to acknowledge that he had created her.

And so, yea, the Godfather did seeth his frustrated creations and it was good. Well, it was good for him. Because he liked observing Jenna's sis and her offspring step on legos. Many years passed and many more people did step on legos. There were many sore footsies and feets and the Godfather did have many shits and giggles about the whole thing. Sometimes I think it was kind of dickish of him but it can't be, I mean, come on, he's God. Anyways, the caterpillar turned up every now and then to annoy people, he was a very misunderstood individual and The Great G informs us that the caterpillar is nevertheless pure evil. Caterpillars cannot be trusted. As the Godfather's children were soon to discover...(seriously watch what happens next; it's so incredibly evil. I mean  it.)

The Caterpillar went running straight back to Big G to snitch on our heroes. It asked if it could now be turned back into a bat as it was sick of crawling. The Godfather said, "Nothing is beyond my power". The caterpillar waited for 20 minutes, then slinked off again to come up with more evil plans. The G man decided to curse the caterpillar and pulled off most of its legs, leaving the correct amount that caterpillars now have. But the caterpillar was still quite powerful, for a caterpillar. It could talk, for one thing. It would probably do some more evil things a bit later in the story when you'd forgotten about it. And remember, it was cursed.

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