(January 13, 2018 at 5:41 pm)MysticKnight Wrote:

---

(January 13, 2018 at 5:41 pm)Thena323 Wrote: Jesus Christ on a cracker...What in the hell have you done, MK? 
I kind of worry that you must've done some seriously horrendous shit, to have made yourself this guilt-ridden and sick.

If so, then quit fucking around and just tell them where the bodies are, son! Only then will you begin to find peace.

There are some sins they are just to dark to speak about, but thankfully it was not murder.

Hmm. If you can't even bear giving voice to your "sins", I'd imagine a sincere effort at making amends to those whom you've actually wronged and offended might be out of the question. That can prove to be extremely trying and stressful, especially for those in delicate states.

Best to assuage your guilt with redemption from uninvolved, invisible parties, I suppose.

(January 13, 2018 at 5:41 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: You can assume whatever you like.

---

(January 13, 2018 at 5:41 pm)Thena323 Wrote: Jesus Christ on a cracker...What in the hell have you done, MK? 
I kind of worry that you must've done some seriously horrendous shit, to have made yourself this guilt-ridden and sick.

If so, then quit fucking around and just tell them where the bodies are, son! Only then will you begin to find peace.

There are some sins they are just to dark to speak about, but thankfully it was not murder.

You ate pork?

(January 13, 2018 at 6:17 pm)Thena323 Wrote:

(January 13, 2018 at 5:41 pm)MysticKnight Wrote:

---

There are some sins they are just to dark to speak about, but thankfully it was not murder.

Hmm. If you can't even bear giving voice to your "sins", I'd imagine a sincere effort at making amends to those whom you've actually wronged and offended might be out of the question. That can prove to be extremely trying and stressful, especially for those in delicate states.

Best to assuage your guilt with redemption from uninvolved, invisible parties, I suppose.

I did try to apologize to that person but I didn't want to trigger the memory if they didn't remember.  It was something I did when I was in grade 3.  Society would never punish me for it but it opened enough dark portals in my book of deeds that would lead sooner or later to insanity as my mind desperately tried to hide the memory away for 24 years after.

(January 13, 2018 at 6:24 pm)MysticKnight Wrote:

(January 13, 2018 at 6:17 pm)Thena323 Wrote: Hmm. If you can't even bear giving voice to your "sins", I'd imagine a sincere effort at making amends to those whom you've actually wronged and offended might be out of the question. That can prove to be extremely trying and stressful, especially for those in delicate states.

Best to assuage your guilt with redemption from uninvolved, invisible parties, I suppose.

I did try to apologize to that person but I didn't want to trigger the memory if they didn't remember.  It was something I did when I was in grade 3.  Society would never punish me for it but it opened enough dark portals in my book of deeds that would lead sooner or later to insanity as my mind desperately tried to hide the memory away for 24 years after.

Sounds as though it could've been pretty bad, though due to your age at time, I have no clue as to whether you were the victim or the offender, neither, or both. 
Or if these "dark portals" you speak of are normal urges or truly sick, destructive proclivities that impose harm on others. Nowadays, you appear to be driven almost exclusively by binary thought patterns and indoctrination, so it's difficult to tell.

I don't suspect that you wish to clarify things any further, so I'll just err on the side of caution- 
IF your religious faith is the only thing capable of preventing you from doing truly unspeakable, horrible things, then please hold on tight and don't let go.

I'd also suggest that you quit coming here to test your debating skills and/or personal mettle, IF indeed that much is at stake.

(January 13, 2018 at 7:07 pm)Thena323 Wrote: IF your religious faith is the only thing capable of preventing you from doing truly unspeakable, horrible things, then please hold on tight and don't let go.

I would kill myself if I remembered this deed and had no faith in God.  So it was good my mind protected me from the memory till I came back to faith.

I am glad you don't have my dark past, but darkness of sins would of destroyed me without religion for sure.

(January 13, 2018 at 7:10 pm)MysticKnight Wrote:

(January 13, 2018 at 7:07 pm)Thena323 Wrote: IF your religious faith is the only thing capable of preventing you from doing truly unspeakable, horrible things, then please hold on tight and don't let go.

I would kill myself if I remembered this deed and had no faith in God.  So it was good my mind protected me from the memory till I came back to faith.

I am glad you don't have my dark past, but darkness of sins would of destroyed me without religion for sure.

What sins are you referring to from your past MK? I ask because I truly doubt they are nearly as bad as you may think...

(January 13, 2018 at 7:39 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(January 13, 2018 at 7:10 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: I would kill myself if I remembered this deed and had no faith in God.  So it was good my mind protected me from the memory till I came back to faith.

I am glad you don't have my dark past, but darkness of sins would of destroyed me without religion for sure.

What sins are you referring to from your past MK? I ask because I truly doubt they are nearly as bad as you may think...

Trying to get a confession? How Catholic of you!

(January 13, 2018 at 7:39 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(January 13, 2018 at 7:10 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: I would kill myself if I remembered this deed and had no faith in God.  So it was good my mind protected me from the memory till I came back to faith.

I am glad you don't have my dark past, but darkness of sins would of destroyed me without religion for sure.

What sins are you referring to from your past MK? I ask because I truly doubt they are nearly as bad as you may think...

I just remembered it this year and it distressed me a lot.  I haven't told anyone explicitly and don't plan to.

I just hope God in the next world doesn't expose that sin on the day the witnesses shall stand and makes people including myself forget it, because, I don't know how I can live with it's memory forever.

MK, if you were in 3rd grade, you need to go easier on yourself. You were just a kid. Doesn't mean what you did wasn't wrong, but give yourself some slack. You were, what, 9 years old? Your culpability is greatly lessened by the fact that you were a young child.

(January 13, 2018 at 7:49 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: MK, if you were in 3rd grade, you need to go easier on yourself. You were just a kid. Doesn't mean what you did wasn't wrong, but give yourself some slack. You were, what, 9 years old? Your culpability is greatly lessened by the fact that you were a young child.

There is no just a kid, even when we are in mother's wombs, we are being shaped by God, that is our spiritual image is being shaped, what the soul is and what the human is,  we can't decide ourselves. 

There is a reason people trust kids, because they are good by nature, but I early on took to mischief and chose evil from the start.  It explains a lot of what befell after, through out time, and eventually madness. Madness had to take me,  there are sins that break barriers and there are sins that bring down tribulations and that are sins that change favors and there are sins that prevent prayers from being answered, and it makes sense now. All of what I faced in my life makes sense now, why the Devils wanted me to join their forces, why sorcerers always call me to join the legion of Jinn and humans, is cause my heart was dark, and there came a time, where I was so close to joining them.

And for the leaders and guides to let go of barriers meant I was perpetual in mischief.  It is true I never did anything again that dark in my life, but never the less, it explains why I was what I was, and they call it ADHD maybe,  I was prone with some genetics to that, but now I am sure now ADHD as a kid resulted from the dark portals I opened, and I am sure my madness was my fault in every moment, all I had to was embrace love for a moment but I could not. I was filled with darkness and hate, and could not let go, and still am cursed with the dark companion from Satan's forces that prevents me from remembering God as I ought to remember him.