Posts: 67079
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 12:55 am
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 12:56 am by The Grand Nudger.)
It's an interesting tick for a person who makes their living off of their image to have. If he becomes professionally toxic due to general creepiness then his bedroom game becomes a poor career choice, and I can't really feel bad for him on that count. That's aight though, there are other jobs....and at least he's not staring down a trial.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 12806
Threads: 158
Joined: February 13, 2010
Reputation:
111
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 12:56 am
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 12:58 am by Shell B.)
I’d be a strange woman if I didn’t prefer a night with this creep over actual assault.
Quote:hat's like saying it's odd for someone planning to murder someone to not do it and call the person a cab
That is odd.
Posts: 4068
Threads: 70
Joined: February 16, 2016
Reputation:
91
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 12:58 am
There’s a thin line we need to watch out for. I have been sexually assaulted before as a child and as an adult. I know the difference between uncomfortable awkwardness and force. Being a weirdo is not equal to being a sexual predator.
As a mother of two boys (one of them autistic), I’m worried. What if one of them has awkward sex one day and then the girl or boy they’re with runs off and tells the world that they’re a creep who made them uncomfortable, only for the world to respond by labeling them as predators? What is this? I’m teaching my kids to respect boundaries and watch out for others. I’m teaching them to respect what makes other people uncomfortable. But... what if?
Thin line, this one.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Posts: 67079
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 1:06 am
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 1:08 am by The Grand Nudger.)
If either of our sons pulled an Aziz I'd be confident in suggesting that we had failed in teaching our kids to respect boundaries and watch out for each other. Rape or not, that's hardly the sort of shit that's gonna make daddy proud. I;d be more worried about the poor girl my son had just skullfucked. 
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
133
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 1:06 am
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 1:07 am by Edwardo Piet.)
No means no and rape is wrong. But indeed this doesn't translate as "men should be telepathic".
Posts: 11697
Threads: 117
Joined: November 5, 2016
Reputation:
43
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 1:23 am
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 1:25 am by Amarok.)
Quote:I’d be a strange woman if I didn’t prefer a night with this creep over actual assault.
No and nowhere did i imply that .
Quote: Wrote:hat's like saying it's odd for someone planning to murder someone to not do it and call the person a cab
Quote:That is odd.
It's odd to compare the fact that both a rapist and a murder can lose their nerve and call their victim a cab . (note i'm not saying he's a rapist ) i think not .
(January 16, 2018 at 1:06 am)Hammy Wrote: No means no and rape is wrong. But indeed this doesn't translate as "men should be telepathic".
No but if a women says she is uncomfortable and shows clear non verbal signs she's not interested in fucking . But a man continues to pressure for sex and aggressively touches after said discomfort is expressed . That does not require a telepath .
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Inuit Proverb
Posts: 4068
Threads: 70
Joined: February 16, 2016
Reputation:
91
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 1:25 am
(January 16, 2018 at 1:06 am)Khemikal Wrote: If either of our sons pulled an Aziz I'd be confident in suggesting that we had failed in teaching our kids to respect boundaries and watch out for each other. Rape or not, that's hardly the sort of shit that's gonna make daddy proud. I;d be more worried about the poor girl my son had just skullfucked.
Who said anything about making daddy proud? I’m not saying it’s behavior I hope my kids practice when they grow up, I’m just saying it’s not predatory. Creepy, weird, but it doesn’t make him a predator.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Posts: 11697
Threads: 117
Joined: November 5, 2016
Reputation:
43
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 1:28 am
(January 16, 2018 at 12:58 am)J a c k Wrote: There’s a thin line we need to watch out for. I have been sexually assaulted before as a child and as an adult. I know the difference between uncomfortable awkwardness and force. Being a weirdo is not equal to being a sexual predator.
As a mother of two boys (one of them autistic), I’m worried. What if one of them has awkward sex one day and then the girl or boy they’re with runs off and tells the world that they’re a creep who made them uncomfortable, only for the world to respond by labeling them as predators? What is this? I’m teaching my kids to respect boundaries and watch out for others. I’m teaching them to respect what makes other people uncomfortable. But... what if?
Thin line, this one. If someone is autistic then it should be known beforehand so a greater emphasis on boundaries can be applied.And as i said it was not just him awkward.
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Inuit Proverb
Posts: 12806
Threads: 158
Joined: February 13, 2010
Reputation:
111
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 1:28 am
Well you said I was an odd woman because I said I would prefer to have had a night like hers instead of the actual assaults I’ve lived through, so yeah. You did say that. It sounds like sh could have been assertive and got out way before she did. A lot of women wish their nights had gone so easily. Adults have a responsibility to themselves to do what they want. If you want to go, leave. Don’t hang out naked in som dude’s apartment, express your discomfort, THEN give him a blowjob. Assuming it all went down this way, she could have ended it. I’ll add the caveat that, if there is something the public missed or that she didn’t share with the “journalist,” I may have a different opinion. My statements are only based on the info available.
Posts: 2069
Threads: 30
Joined: May 15, 2016
Reputation:
54
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 1:29 am
I read the young woman's account on babe.net, the NY Times story, The Guardian's story and a few opinion pieces. I believe what it boiled down to was a serious gap in communication and bad sex.
Unfortunately, I've been in a few similar situations and I've learned it's not uncommon for young women to not know how to articulate themselves when they need to.
When women learn they have agency and how to use it out loud, not "non-verbally", instead of being a virtual bystander during their own date and waiting for the guy to decide what to do, dates are far less likely to end badly.
I like Aziz Anzari's comedy and I loved Master of None and I think he and his career are going to be ok even after this.
But I'm not going to throw shade on the young woman. People have been doing that to women for centuries when it comes to he said/ she said; no need for me or anyone else to pile on her now.
-Teresa
.
|
