(January 17, 2018 at 4:54 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Ok, but based on what we actually know - the story. Does the story depict sexual assault?

Yup, and also a series of unfortunate decisions that would irritate the shit out of any prosecuter. Big giant shitshow. Like a car crash, but with genitals.

Just for your own future reference, saying, "You said it, not me" is a phrase used to mean, "I agree with you, but I wouldn't have said it." Therefore, your response could have rationally been taken to mean, "Yes, I think him not asking you means he's a rapist, but I don't want to say that." Having clarified that this isn't your first language, it's logical to assume you've heard the phrase before and used it, but didn't fully understand the nuance, and that's perfectly cool. If you didn't mean it that way, and just used the phrase wrong, it's all good. To be fair to myself, though, it was a logical assumption based on the turn of phrase you chose for your post.

To be honest, I never really did think you meant he was a rapist, but were just kind of being a tool. Turned out I was wrong too. Now I think you may have been using the term as a defense, like "I didn't say that. You said that," which would have been more clear. Anyhow, Tibs isn't a rapist. It's all good.

(January 17, 2018 at 4:56 pm)Khemikal Wrote:

(January 17, 2018 at 4:40 pm)Cyberman Wrote: Trial by media is never a good thing to want. Trial by biased journalism even less so. Throughout all this discussion, we've only had one side of the story, one account of events.

Not precisely.  He responded to the allegation not by denying her version of events but by pleading a radically different perception of them..and apologizing, ofc. He knows that he did what she said he did (assuming for the sake of convenience), but he thought she was into it- is the gist.

That's all from the babe article, yeah?

(January 17, 2018 at 4:58 pm)Tizheruk Wrote:

(January 17, 2018 at 4:55 pm)J a c k Wrote: So, she’ll tell a half story? Assumptions.

She might tell some of it now but be to afraid to release all the details . Yup it's an assumption in my counselling work i have found people only tell you part of the story at first . Then as they get confident more comes out . Darker details often as they are more painful .

I have had cases of domestic abuse victims who only start with the light stuff first . Then as the grow more comfortable with me. The more traumatizing elements come forth.

And I know this. I was the same way and I’m a social worker, so I see this all the time. What I’m saying is that you can’t label someone a predator or label an act as assault based on a half story.

His response?  No, not as far as I;m aware.

Quote:"In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual," Ansari wrote in a statement obtained by CNN on Sunday.

-cont

Quote:"I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue,

http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/15/entertainm...index.html

(January 17, 2018 at 4:59 pm)Shell B Wrote: Just for your own future reference, saying, "You said it, not me" is a phrase used to mean, "I agree with you, but I wouldn't have said it." Therefore, your response could have rationally been taken to mean, "Yes, I think him not asking you means he's a rapist, but I don't want to say that." Having clarified that this isn't your first language, it's logical to assume you've heard the phrase before and used it, but didn't fully understand the nuance, and that's perfectly cool. If you didn't mean it that way, and just used the phrase wrong, it's all good. To be fair to myself, though, it was a logical assumption based on the turn of phrase you chose for your post.

To be honest, I never really did think you meant he was a rapist, but were just kind of being a tool. Turned out I was wrong too. Now I think you may have been using the term as a defense, like "I didn't say that. You said that," which would have been more clear. Anyhow, Tibs isn't a rapist. It's all good.

And i think there was a misunderstanding as well . And for it i apologize . It seems were crossing swords a lot lately . Can't say i like it . It feels off . So truce ☮

(January 17, 2018 at 5:07 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: And i think there was a misunderstanding as well . And for it i apologize . It seems were crossing swords a lot lately . Can't say i like it . It feels off . So truce ☮

Truce, for sure. I'll try to clarify what you mean more if I think I've got my wires crossed.

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(January 17, 2018 at 5:05 pm)Khemikal Wrote: His response?  No, not as far as I;m aware.

Quote:"In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual," Ansari wrote in a statement obtained by CNN on Sunday.

-cont

Quote:"I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue,

http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/15/entertainm...index.html

Nah, he clearly said "by all indications," meaning she didn't indicate it wasn't consensual, which is the other side of the story. It's not much. Maybe he'll clarify more. Maybe we'll all be left to wonder what Tom Haverford really did that night in 2016 . . .

(January 17, 2018 at 5:04 pm)J a c k Wrote:

(January 17, 2018 at 4:58 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: She might tell some of it now but be to afraid to release all the details . Yup it's an assumption in my counselling work i have found people only tell you part of the story at first . Then as they get confident more comes out . Darker details often as they are more painful .

I have had cases of domestic abuse victims who only start with the light stuff first . Then as the grow more comfortable with me. The more traumatizing elements come forth.

And I know this. I was the same way and I’m a social worker, so I see this all the time. What I’m saying is that you can’t label someone a predator or label an act as assault based on a half story.

As i said it's a personal opinion . Which is why i'm not making an officially labelling him. But it does make me curious if there is more based  on the pattern of how  a lot of these cases go . But i'm solid on the idea he was aggressive and she was overt about her disinterest in more intimate acts if the story so far is warranted . But not enough if i were a judge.

---

Quote:Ok, but based on what we actually know - the story. Does the story depict sexual assault?

legally to early to tell . Personally i think an argument could be made .But that's all that is personally .

(January 17, 2018 at 4:58 pm)Tizheruk Wrote:

(January 17, 2018 at 4:55 pm)J a c k Wrote: So, she’ll tell a half story? Assumptions.

She might tell some of it now but be to afraid to release all the details . Yup it's an assumption in my counselling work i have found people only tell you part of the story at first . Then as they get confident more comes out . Darker details often as they are more painful .

I have had cases of domestic abuse victims who only start with the light stuff first . Then as the grow more comfortable with me. The more traumatizing elements come forth.

Soooo you're accusing this man of sexual assault based on the fact that Grace might not have told us a part of the story that would incriminate him?

That is the most unreasonable thing I've ever heard.

(January 17, 2018 at 5:22 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(January 17, 2018 at 4:58 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: She might tell some of it now but be to afraid to release all the details . Yup it's an assumption in my counselling work i have found people only tell you part of the story at first . Then as they get confident more comes out . Darker details often as they are more painful .

I have had cases of domestic abuse victims who only start with the light stuff first . Then as the grow more comfortable with me. The more traumatizing elements come forth.

Soooo you're accusing this man of sexual assault based on the fact that Grace might not have told us a part of the story that would incriminate him?

That is the most unreasonable thing I've ever heard.

No i already addressed this above

Quote:legally to early to tell . Personally i think an argument could be made .But that's all that is personally .

And jack asked something similar

Quote:As i said it's a personal opinion . Which is why i'm not making an officially labelling him. But it does make me curious if there is more based  on the pattern of how  a lot of these cases go . But i'm solid on the idea he was aggressive and she was overt about her disinterest in more intimate acts if the story so far is warranted . But not enough if i were a judge.