Hi folks,

Been a devout anti-theist for about 12 years now. Didn't realise that there was even a forum for this until I explored on google.
After a bit of advice on how to talk about this kind of stuff with my extended family (all of whom are deeply religious).
I don't  want to offend or upset them but I feel very strongly about my beliefs (or lack thereof).
My parents have always allowed me to seek my own path in life and are pretty secular.


Any advice?
Much secular love
M X

As to how to talk about it, Shakespeare said " An honest tale speeds best, being plainly told" and I agree. But, you should be prepared for the consequences. There are several stories and lists of expectations about the interwebs. Search for coming out atheist

Just remind them that being an atheist doesn't make you suddenly a bad person. And still offer compassion and help when needed. If they push you away, that's on them.

Keep the parents. Get rid of the rest.

Best way is just to be yourself and talk to them honestly and rationally about it. Unless their reaction will be of the fanatically negative variety, then just keep it to yourself unless you want to lose contact with them or be harassed.

I am not really sure what a devout atheist would be. It's a contadiction in terms. But getting back to your family, . . . I'd ask myself some basic questions before I began any such conversation:

1. What is it you hope to accomplish? Is the goal merely to be honest? To avoid church? To avoid hearing about last night's conversation with Jesus? To deconvert them? Probably none of things can be accomplished without upsetting them. If you are very tactful you might just squeak by without offending them.

2. Just who is it that needs to know? Great Aunt What's it ? Grandparents seen twice a year. Just those relatives you see regularly?

3. How much will you care if it blows up in your face and some are all of these people stop talking to you?

Not saying you shouldn't come out, but I am suggesting you think very carefully about it first.

If you do tell them, consider how and when. I vote for telling individuals individually. Group announcements are just begging for confrontation. Obviously, when discussing how nanna is now in a better place at the funeral reception is not the best time or place.

One odd thing I've noticed about the religious, often they are just fine with my not believing in god,
but, being an atheist, that's awful. Strange but true.

Good luck.

(February 28, 2018 at 12:59 pm)Jenny A Wrote: I am not really sure what a devout atheist would be. It's a contadiction in terms. But getting back to your family, . . . I'd ask myself some basic questions before I began any such conversation:

1. What is it you hope to accomplish? Is the goal merely to be honest? To avoid church? To avoid hearing about last night's conversation with Jesus? To deconvert them? Probably none of things can be accomplished without upsetting them. If you are very tactful you might just squeak by without offending them.

2. Just who is it that needs to know? Great Aunt What's it ? Grandparents seen twice a year. Just those relatives you see regularly?

3. How much will you care if it blows up in your face and some are all of these people stop talking to you?

Not saying you shouldn't come out, but I am suggesting you think very carefully about it first.

If you do tell them, consider how and when. I vote for telling individuals individually. Group announcements are just begging for confrontation. Obviously, when discussing how nanna is now in a better place at the funeral reception is not the best time or place.

One odd thing I've noticed about the religious, often they are just fine with my not believing in god,
but, being an atheist, that's awful. Strange but true.

Good luck.

Anti theist isn't the same as atheist right?

If they let you do your own thing and their religiosity isn't controlling your life, why even bother trying to tell them? My mother still assumes I'm Catholic despite the fact that I've been atheist for 7 years. But she didn't make me go to church and doesn't push anything on me now, so I'll let her think it. I don't care.

LOL @ "devout anti theist" and "much secular love".

Anyway, I don't see the reason why you need to go out of your way to tell your extended fam. It's none of their business. If they happen to ask you, answer them honestly and objectively without being condecending. If they have a problem with it, thats their problem.

(February 28, 2018 at 11:32 am)MattyVigilante Wrote: Hi folks,

Been a devout anti-theist for about 12 years now. Didn't realise that there was even a forum for this until I explored on google.
After a bit of advice on how to talk about this kind of stuff with my extended family (all of whom are deeply religious).
I don't  want to offend or upset them but I feel very strongly about my beliefs (or lack thereof).
My parents have always allowed me to seek my own path in life and are pretty secular.


Any advice?
Much secular love
M X

I don't know you and I don't know what your relationship is like with your extended family... I tend to keep what I don't believe to myself when it comes to people I have to deal with for the rest of my life. What I don't believe is none of their fucking business and what they believe I could care less about lol

1) Don't rely on advice from internet strangers about how to live your life
2) It's your family, you know them best, so it is best for you to decide for yourself
3) If someone doesn't accept you for who you are, fuck 'em!