(May 13, 2018 at 8:09 pm)Aegon Wrote: I've noticed that ever since my transplant I have been very optimistic and motivated (or perhaps driven is an even better word.) My personality practically did a 180, because it reminded me of the fragility of life and the fact that I can't waste any time I might have. I didn't have these inclinations before my kidneys failed, to be honest. Do you think it is necessary for one to go through very bad times in order to make the most out of the good?

It's not necessarily necessary but it obviously helps. But there are people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk who have succeeded wildly without such adversity.

So, adversity is a great driver but exceptional individuals do not necessarily need it.

Depends on the individual. And I am PROFOUNDLY happy Aegon is doing so well !!

Had a rough go with hitting bottom/first stepping and then 'enjoyed' (really, but had no basis for comparison so underappreciated it) my first 6 months of sobriety.

And then jumped into the AIDS crisis as a hospice volunteer and essentially earned a not to be realized for nearly 30 years PTSD issue. I'd almost but not quite consider my experience with it to be in the range of what should be considered 'normal', but I'd hasten to add many or most others I've talked to about my 'primary' symptom and how it presented itself in 2 quite different modes have indicated they would consider it debilitating. I've had profound spells of INTENSE survivors guilt since 1987 it feels awful when it arises, except on some rare occasions it presents itself in a shroud of white hot euphoria, and that feels even worse.

I hasten to add, there were several other volunteers in the hospice group I joined and they thrived on the experience. And I note between encountering Brian and my unexpected HIV results, had I missed either, the PTSD would have been 'profoundly' less in my case.

(May 13, 2018 at 10:09 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: I think it depends on the individual.

There are those who go through a traumatic event and get a better appreciation for life.  And there are those who live every day that way without ever having anything bad happen to them (bastards!).

Then there's me.  I had a very bad motorcycle accident in my early 20s, and my heart stopped for nearly 20 minutes.  And I'm still the same miserable, somewhat psychotic individual I've always been.  Except, perhaps, that I have a death wish (according to my parents).

Yabut, the death wish is for others. :nods:

Beccs nearly dies in a motorbike crash and what does she get later in life? A fucking Harley! lol!

I'd hate to think what mum and dad think of your life choices!

Yeah, that daughter of ours, she's just stupid and won't amount to anything!

So then she proceeds to by a v8 muscle car to rub the salt in a little more... hehehe

And parachuting ...and .....

Going through a traumatic experience does not automatically teach people to truly appreciate living. Some people never get it.

(May 13, 2018 at 8:09 pm)Aegon Wrote: I've noticed that ever since my transplant I have been very optimistic and motivated (or perhaps driven is an even better word.) My personality practically did a 180, because it reminded me of the fragility of life and the fact that I can't waste any time I might have. I didn't have these inclinations before my kidneys failed, to be honest. Do you think it is necessary for one to go through very bad times in order to make the most out of the good?

Couldn't tell you. My traumatic experiences date back to 1956.

I don't know that being homeless truly changed me. I suppose some of us are simply hard-wired to be who we are, no matter what we experience.

As you can tell it definitely helps.

(May 13, 2018 at 10:09 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: I think it depends on the individual.

There are those who go through a traumatic event and get a better appreciation for life.  And there are those who live every day that way without ever having anything bad happen to them (bastards!).

Then there's me.  I had a very bad motorcycle accident in my early 20s, and my heart stopped for nearly 20 minutes.  And I'm still the same miserable, somewhat psychotic individual I've always been.  Except, perhaps, that I have a death wish (according to my parents).

Whoa!  You had an actual NDE.  What kept you from going into the light?  See any dead relatives there?  Did some old codger tell you "nope, not yet"?

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Personally I find every death-day, both the actual and the day it is commemorated, to have a similar effect. Those and the adrenaline rush of my own close calls make me more deeply aware of life's transience and preciousness. Hell, I can even get that from certain books and movies.

I was just hearing about some culture in which people try to remind themselves several times a day of their mortality. They're supposed to some of the happiest people on earth. Can anyone remember what group of people that would be?

Trauma affects people in different ways (obviously), so I'm firmly in the it-depends-on-the-individual camp. On a personal level, the two great traumatic experiences in my life don't seem to have materially altered my appreciation of how much fun it is to be alive.

Boru