Interesting conversations with my family and friends, good food, movies, my cat, and Mahjong.

(November 2, 2018 at 4:06 pm)Dragonfly Wrote: What brings you comfort when life is hard? I'm especially interested in any book recommendations or videos that I can turn to repeatedly when times are tough. They don't have to be by atheists or about atheism. Any secular source will do. 

thanks

Any book that helps me escape everyday pressures and pain is a good book. My personal tastes might be different than yours but here are few I've read recently:
In the Darkroom by Susan Faludi
Sapiens by Yuval Noah Hariri
Any book by Junot Diaz

I also listen to my favorite violinists on youtube - Arabella Steinbacher (Bach and Tchaikovsky) and Jascha Heifetz (Bach). I always feel better after listening to them.

I've read this poem over and over when I've been going through bad times. At one point I was reading it so much I almost knew it by heart. And there are lots of other great poems out there waiting to be discovered by those of us who need a boost.

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life that you could save.


-Teresa

Long story short, my transition from Christian to Atheist left me with a panic disorder--realizing my mortality was terrifying and now I'm pretty much stuck with dealing the occasional panic attack and periods of intense anxiety.

It's taken me years to recover and I'm still not there yet, but I've since found some semblance of peace. Mostly through nature and meditation, on a bad day I might go to the woods and just sit there and listen, or if it's night I'll stare up at the vast starry sky and wonder about all those little bright dots. Music is also a big comfort--I usually listen to video game or movie soundtracks, and am especially fond of the music in Studio Ghibli films. Art is another way for me to escape, it gives me a way to vent without saying anything.

I've learned to enjoy the little things in life, to feel the sun on my skin on a fair day, to eat my food slowly, to just BREATHE because it's so nice. And I still "pray", except now I KNOW I'm only talking to myself, it's a bit of a meditation thing. So don't quit praying unless it makes you feel silly xP

Oh, and tea. Tea's a big help. Decaf tea.

I've realized I don't need an imaginary friend to get by in life. Some people act like they can never be whole without a god, and while I'm not exactly "whole" as far as my anxiety goes, I'm wholly capable of overcoming it myself sans-god, and so are you ^^

@Dragonfly:

In my therapy I’ve been taught a technique where I decide on a "happy place", which is somewhere I’ve been that makes me feel peaceful, or else some imaginary creation. I then try to clear my mind and think of this place, imagining the sights, sounds, feelings on my skin, and so on. With a bit of practice it can mentally transport me, and I start to really feel those sensations and the serenity of the location.

Don’t try and stifle any intrusive thoughts while you’re doing this, just imagine them floating by. Let them drift off into the distance.

Harry Potter movies. Binge watch all 8 movies in a single weekend. Oh, and get a cat. Those help too.

The laws of physics.

I may be atypical of atheists in that I'm not at all cool with the idea that I am nothing more than a piece of meat that came into this world in 1959 because my parents decided to fuck one night and am destined to be nothing more than worm food. I do not at all subscribe to the platitudes that the finite nature of our lives bestows special meaning there. Indeed, I view that as a very cruel aspect of reality. Being bestowed life and a desire to continue to live while the current situation makes that impossible is the ultimate cruelty.

Maybe I'm not really that rare and many of my fellow atheists share in that viewpoint but will not admit it. But I won't go there other than to raise the possibility.

I think most of my fellow atheists vastly underestimate how amazing this universe we live in really is. Its laws pf physics limit us but that still leaves us amazing possibilities.

The entire universe may be a simulation - someone's equivalent of a video game.

More advanced beings who were here long before us made it their mission to encode all life in digital form. We are preserved in that way.

I cannot say these things will comfort me much on my death bed as I understand they are just speculation but it is something.

We really do live in an amazing universe. I encourage people to not underestimate what intelligence is capable of.

Something else to consider:

You’ve realised that this life is finite, and that means it is extremely valuable. You made this discovery while you still have time to seize life and make the most of it. Some people go through their whole lives thinking this is just the warmup.

(November 3, 2018 at 3:04 am)robvalue Wrote: Something else to consider:

You’ve realised that this life is finite, and that means it is extremely valuable. You made this discovery while you still have time to seize life and make the most of it. Some people go through their whole lives thinking this is just the warmup.

Hardcore believers go all the way and suggest that God can do ANYTHING with you - torture for as long as he likes or reincarnate as much as he wants. That's worse than life in North Korea with Kim Jong Un in some sense.

That’s true, realising that such a horrible possibility is off the table would hopefully be a comfort.

I noticed that a number of you suggest meditation.
That is mostly bizarre because through meditation you reach the stage in which God is within and you are that entity.

Very strange suggestion indeed considering that is coming from atheists.