I honestly told my father once that I got the cigarettes in my pocket from my mother, who frequently bought them for me. I wasn't believed and got a good shove into the couch for my troubles.

(May 20, 2019 at 11:48 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Went for a skinny dip. Trusted older brother to watch my clothes. You can take it from there.

You trying to explain to the officer , "You don't understand sir." I am sure that is not the case, but still. How many people saw you before you could get back to shelter?

---

One really embarrassing thing I did, was when I went to the 9:30 Club in DC to see the band Living Colour. I got drunk off my ass. Next morning I get a call from my friend who took me back stage to meet them, shouting in my ear over the phone, "YOU ASSHOLE, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?" He was furious at me, and rightfully so. When he took me back stage to meet them, I said, "If I had closed my eyes I never would have known you were black." I was mortified I said that and wouldn't have blamed them if they had beaten the shit out of me. I didn't mean it that way. I meant that I loved seeing crossover music. Fortunately for me, the band realized I was shit faced.

Probably the penis spider bite when I was around 10 to 12, and only funny now in hindsight. Was staying with the grandparents for the summer so first had to show it to grandma. By the time I got scared enough to do show and tell it looked like an angry bell clapper. She didn't say much more than "oh my" and whisked we off to the doctor. 

Then at the doctor, after the steroid shot, an attractive young nurse was instructed to give me hot and cold packs. Felt like it lasted hours, and the erection didn't help. Neither did the constant smiling. 

I suppose the streaking events in high school count, but many people have those tales.

My grandma passed away recently. The lucky thing is that it wasn’t a particularly serious funeral. A lot of people stood up to tell good memories and we all laughed together. But at this moment no one else laughed except my brother-in-law and me. A man stepped up that no one recognized in a very fancy suit (this was noticeable because the requested attire was casual because you would never have caught my grandma dressed up). He told a story of how he met my grandma when he was 8 years old and fell madly in love with her. He told how she had married and he’d lost his chance and then she’d divorced but he was married and finally how when my grandpa had died (just months before) and he was single he finally saw his chance to be with the woman he loved. He told of how he had written letters back and forth with my grandma for the last few months but then she had died and now his chance was gone forever. Then he stood there at the podium to an absolutely silent room staring at him in shock. But my brother-in-law made eye contact with me with a look of horror on his face and I lost it. We both laughed to tears. The guy stepped down and my uncle rushed up to save the day by telling another funny story about my grandma. Some of my family members were upset that we had laughed at that moment. The poor guy was probably traumatized, though I think it serves him right tbh. It’s such a creepy thing to say about how now that someone’s dead you lost your chance to be with them. Wut.

(May 20, 2019 at 2:56 pm)Brian37 Wrote:

(May 20, 2019 at 11:48 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Went for a skinny dip. Trusted older brother to watch my clothes. You can take it from there.

You trying to explain to the officer , "You don't understand sir." I am sure that is not the case, but still. How many people saw you before you could get back to shelter?

This was a local creek, not much more than a ditch with running water, but it was what we had. In high summer it was golden, trees on the banks gave shade and the water level was several feet below the surface around it. Kid heaven.

When my brother took off with my clothes I discovered that I am very much not body conscious. I walked home naked.

(May 20, 2019 at 5:29 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:

(May 20, 2019 at 2:56 pm)Brian37 Wrote: You trying to explain to the officer , "You don't understand sir." I am sure that is not the case, but still. How many people saw you before you could get back to shelter?

This was a local creek, not much more than a ditch with running water, but it was what we had. In high summer it was golden, trees on the banks gave shade and the water level was several feet below the surface around it. Kid heaven.

When my brother took off with my clothes I discovered that I am very much not body conscious. I walked home naked.

So the girls along the way didn’t see anything there?

Eh?

..

Perhaps my bad habit of holding in my pee for too long. One time I laughed at my own joke so hard I leaked a bit of urine in my pants - which that in itself is funny so I laughed some more. At this point I couldn't contain the unstoppable flow and just let everything go in front of everyone.. as they watch my lower half get soaking wet. I mobbed the floor, still laughing and red afterwards. 

Well, when my mother (long since departed) had her first heart attack, myself and two of my siblings found ourselves at some ungodly hour sitting in a cold sweat outside the cardiac ICU. For hours. Small talk only lasts for so long, so the three of us lapsed into some hours of fretful silence.

As we sat there, (making it worse) two EMTs wheeled another sorry bugger in to the ward past us. Talk about grim. That guy was all hooked up to a monitor. Beep...Beep...Beep went the monitor as they rushed him in. This did nothing to improve the general gloom.

Weirdly, they misjudged the door and the corner of the trolley caught the jamb of the door causing a sudden impactful halt to proceedings. The monitor did "Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep BEEBEEEBEEBEEEBEEEBEEEBEEE".

All three of us dissolved into hysterics.

It was a bit Monty Python.

Sure, it was the result of the pent up tension that must be released. But medical personel, relatives, passers by, whoever sure gave us some stony glares.

(May 20, 2019 at 9:41 pm)AgnosAtheis Wrote: TL;DR - peed myself indoors at 16.

Moderator Notice
Link removed for violation of 30/30 rule.

Looks darn misleading in that order. I suggest moderators specify the exact reason for link removal cause y'know it looks as if some serious offense had been violated but 30/30 = New members must make 30 posts and be a member for 30 days before they are allowed to post external content, such as links, images, or videos. Unique rule there. Ha.. @Losty

For anyone wondering, it's just a face of an anime dude blushing.