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trying to adopt an amoral worldview
#41
RE: trying to adopt an amoral worldview
It's a long one, but I think it was worth it, not just for a look at a strange cause celebre in transphobic circles, but for a look into why inconsequential shit like the Younger case seems like the hill to die on, why it might seem like society is demanding insane shit from them, when, in practice, it's just something like "Dude, your kid is trans, I know it can take a while to come to terms with it, but eventually, you have to do so, because Luna is highly unlikely to go back to being that boy you helped sire and your refusal to acknowledge it will make life shitty for everyone, including your own damn self."
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]

I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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#42
RE: trying to adopt an amoral worldview
I've been watching his others since, lol. Pretty good narrator.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#43
RE: trying to adopt an amoral worldview
If the OP is still around, may I suggest the following video:

"The Superiority of Secular Morality"







It is an hour long, but well worth the time.

You'd believe if you just opened your heart" is a terrible argument for religion. It's basically saying, "If you bias yourself enough, you can convince yourself that this is true." If religion were true, people wouldn't need faith to believe it -- it would be supported by good evidence.
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#44
RE: trying to adopt an amoral worldview
Nice, Matt does a good job of explaining how a secular morality is basically objective. I listen to The Atheist Experience a lot.
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#45
RE: trying to adopt an amoral worldview
(January 18, 2021 at 8:48 pm)HappySkeptic Wrote: Most girls do like nice guys.  They also like confidence and success.  

My own personal take on this is to strive for competence not confidence. There is of course an internal value to feeling confident. However, if there's one thing I've gleaned from the psychological literature its that confidence rarely maps unto reality. It tends to not have predictive value. People report feeling confident about a great many things that they do poorly on; even to the extend of outright delusion. So I've come to the conclusion that confidence has very little utility beyond mental health and possibly attracting a partner. And I'm not entirely convinced it does even that reliably well. Your display of confidence can be interpreted as arrogance by one person, and cockiness by another, both of which lowers attraction.

Competence in contrast has utility. It is by definition the ability to do things well. And I think striving to do things well creates the kinds of growth than will reliably be seen as confidence by others. And it opens the door to the kinds of successes that will be considered attractive. 

As for the niceness problem. I think the solution is to strive to be a good man not a nice guy.
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#46
RE: trying to adopt an amoral worldview
(January 25, 2021 at 11:39 pm)John 6IX Breezy Wrote:
(January 18, 2021 at 8:48 pm)HappySkeptic Wrote: Most girls do like nice guys.  They also like confidence and success.  

My own personal take on this is to strive for competence not confidence. There is of course an internal value to feeling confident. However, if there's one thing I've gleaned from the psychological literature its that confidence rarely maps unto reality. It tends to not have predictive value. People report feeling confident about a great many things that they do poorly on; even to the extend of outright delusion. So I've come to the conclusion that confidence has very little utility beyond mental health and attracting a partner. And I'm not entirely convinced it does even that reliably well either. Your display of confidence can be interpreted as arrogance by one person, and cockiness by another, both of which lowers attraction.

Competence in contrast has utility. It is by definition the ability to do things well. And I think striving to do things well creates the kinds of growth than will reliably be seen by others as confidence. And it opens the door to the kinds of successes that will be seen as attractive by others. 

As for the niceness problem. I think the solution is to strive to be a good man not a nice guy.

A good point in general. That said, if I'm reading the OP accurately, since one of his main motivations is being able to get the girl, confidence is certainly key.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]

I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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#47
RE: trying to adopt an amoral worldview
Certainly, but I think that when you look at confidence under a microscope, what is actually attracting a girl is competence in various facets. Competence in communication (not overtexting). Competence in self-management (dressing well, hygiene, health). Competence in action (decision-making, personal responsibility, goal-oriented).

I think the issue with confidence is that it leans too heavily on demonstration. It's not enough to be internally confident; you have to perform it for others to see. And so men often seek to imitate the stereotypes of what they think confidence looks like, rather than putting in the work that leads to genuine results.
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