Yep, for quite a long time. Complex PTSD is a bitch

One thing I'd say...from a person who's been to a person thinking of going. That ear won't necessarily be sympathetic. You can cry on shoulders anywhere. A licensed pro absolutely will say shit you don't want to hear. Considering to go, consider what you expect out of it. You wont be paying for a friend.

(September 22, 2021 at 11:36 am)The Grand Nudger Wrote: One thing I'd say...from a person who's been to a person thinking of going.  That ear won't necessarily be sympathetic.  You can cry on shoulders anywhere.  A licensed pro absolutely will say shit you don't want to hear.  Considering to go, consider what you expect out of it.  You wont be paying for a friend.

And if your therapist is becoming your friend, you may want to re-evaluate the relationship.

My therapist doesn't say much that I don't want to hear, but she also doesn't say the stuff that I want to hear, and that's good. She's neutral.

And if you find yourself fighting with your therapist a lot, it may not be a good match.

Now that we've handled our disclaimers. Elephant in the room...what concepts and ideas? I can't help but gawk and wonder...I don't think I'm even capable of imagining.

(September 22, 2021 at 7:39 am)Ten Wrote: Are you in therapy? Have you been in therapy before? Has it helped you at all? 

I've been thinking about it more and more in regards to my deconversion. It's only been a little over a year since I became atheist but I have a hard time with getting emotional in regards to certain concepts and ideas. I have a lot of bitterness towards religious people and ideas but it's all heavily tied to reactions to what happened to me. I don't know. I don't know if it's something I just need to wait to get over, like time and distance will calm me down. Or if I can't move on because I'm just not processing it on my own very well. These atheist communities are great and all but I'm not sure it's the best place to deal with my religious trauma.

You might also want to look into groups for former fundies. Even if you weren't a fundy, I'm sure they'd welcome you in. I've thought about going and I haven't been a believer since childhood. And I was never a fundy.

I have had therapy and it was amazing. Finding a compatible therapist is key, however. I recommend it to everyone, whether you believe you need it or not. If you open up and don't hold back it can increase your self awareness in ways you never imagined. If you don't participate, it won't do any better then going to the gym five days a week and sitting at the table drinking Jamba juice. The only reason I'm not in therapy now is the cost, which can be very high if your insurance doesn't cover it. Mine only covered a short period. I'm currently looking for loopholes.

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(September 22, 2021 at 11:36 am)The Grand Nudger Wrote: One thing I'd say...from a person who's been to a person thinking of going.  That ear won't necessarily be sympathetic.  You can cry on shoulders anywhere.  A licensed pro absolutely will say shit you don't want to hear.  Considering to go, consider what you expect out of it.  You wont be paying for a friend.

I'll second this and it can be a surprise if that's what you're expecting, so it's good you pointed this out.  I believe most of us find ways to hide what we don't like about ourselves from ourselves.  A therapist will pick that scab right off and show you how disgusting it is.  That's the bad news.  The good news is that you will find out how much more you can grow and develop when you stop hiding from yourself.  When you stop hiding from the truth.  The truth hurts but it is also liberating.

I've had mixed results with therapy. I certainly think it's worth a try. It has been of great benefit to me. But it's also been kind of worthless. It certainly isn't a surefire "go to therapy and you WILL get good results" situation.

Maybe what Spongebob said is important... finding a compatible therapist is important...

I'll add that my oldest daughter has been to therapy a few times, but wasn't as willing to participate and so has never seen results. She has some major issues that I believe she could improve but seems to be reluctant to fully engage with a therapist. Like many people, she may see it as a weakness or embarrassment.

(September 23, 2021 at 4:09 pm)vulcanlogician Wrote: I've had mixed results with therapy. I certainly think it's worth a try. It has been of great benefit to me. But it's also been kind of worthless. It certainly isn't a surefire "go to therapy and you WILL get good results" situation.

Maybe what Spongebob said is important... finding a compatible therapist is important...

The therapist I saw about 15 years ago was fantastic. There was an instant click as soon as I met her. She came highly recommended but, of course, what works for one doesn't always work for another. I probably would have benefited from seeing her for other issues but she did give me some tools and also gave me confidence in my ability to work through things myself...some things I had apparently been doing since I was quite young.

It was funny to me...I remembered things in like snapshots once we started peeling back some layers. There was one specific incident that appeared in my mind so clearly but I wasn't sure if it had really happened or if I had created it. I called my sister and found out that it had indeed happened. My time with her (and she was a doctor) was very helpful and I appreciate the help she gave me very much.

I was in therapy about two decades ago, when I had a panic attack because of an untenable increase in my workload. (Already doing the work of a full-time plus a part-time employee, and management added another department to my responsibilities.) In addition to a script for antidepressants I also got a referral to an excellent therapist, who listened to me vent and helped me figure out what to do next. The combination of meds and talk therapy was powerful enough that I only needed them for about six months, by which time I had the anxiety under control, more staff had been hired, and I was able to step back to doing part-time work for only two departments instead of six.