(October 24, 2023 at 11:03 pm)Belacqua Wrote:

(October 24, 2023 at 3:54 am)FrustratedFool Wrote: Present your best dating advice here.

I believe in the maxim "an interested person is an interesting person." 

So that means two things: 

1) show passion for something beyond oneself, that one can talk about. Some field of music, local history, restoring old houses -- something that shows you're not completely self-centered and take an interest in life. Plus you can grow friendships that can turn into dating. (Probably this wouldn't include an obsession with hentai porn or some other creepy thing.) 

2) Show genuine interest in the person sitting opposite you. Ask questions and listen to the answers. 

The least datable person is probably the one who says "I'm bored and boring, I need a partner to save me."

Some people don't have anything else to work with. All of my relationships have been made out of the other person pitying me. I don't know how else to attract people.

So, have you tried to be someone who isn't pitiable, who has a range of interests, who is interested in the other person, who doesn't act creepy, who doesn't overtalk, etc?

Ie, have you tried to improve your personality and social skills (like you tried to lose weight)?

I guess if you want to date then you should work at becoming dateable, bith physically and mentally. If you've genuinely repeatedly tried and can't change yourself, then I would try and find other ways to have a satisfying life. Some people are plausibly undateable, yes. You may be one. But you have to have seriously tried first to find out.

(October 25, 2023 at 1:10 am)FrustratedFool Wrote: So, have you tried to be someone who isn't pitiable, who has a range of interests, who is interested in the other person, who doesn't act creepy, who doesn't overtalk, etc?

Ie, have you tried to improve your personality and social skills (like you tried to lose weight)?

I guess if you want to date then you should work at becoming dateable, bith physically and mentally.  If you've genuinely repeatedly tried and can't change yourself, then I would try and find other ways to have a satisfying life.  Some people are plausibly undateable, yes.  You may be one.  But you have to have seriously tried first to find out.

I am not like other people, pretty much not at all. I have nothing in common with the average person. Girls want guys who are like, "society people". I don't give a fuck about society. I really do not see how trying to date a girl would work out. I don't think it would. What would we even talk about?

It seems to me that people asking for a dating advice are asking for something else because when did a dating advice ever help anyone? "Be yourself", "Wear clean socks", "Listen", etc. are all the usual advices, and people know them, but it still doesn't help them.

What people are asking for is "How do I stop being afraid and go on a date?", "How do I grow up?" Indeed, dating can be traumatic for many guys because they are confronting the scariest monster there is - themselves. When a guy goes on a date he is saying "This is who I am. This is what I accomplished in life. Now please judge me."

I'm not afraid of being judged, I just don't want the girl to feel like I'm judging her, because that will turn her off. But it's hard not to judge people.

(October 25, 2023 at 1:48 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: It seems to me that people asking for a dating advice are asking for something else because when did a dating advice ever help anyone? "Be yourself", "Wear clean socks", "Listen", etc. are all the usual advices, and people know them, but it still doesn't help them.

What people are asking for is "How do I stop being afraid and go on a date?", "How do I grow up?" Indeed, dating can be traumatic for many guys because they are confronting the scariest monster there is - themselves. When a guy goes on a date he is saying "This is who I am. This is what I accomplished in life. Now please judge me."

Maybe.  Though dating advice, if honest and practical, can definitely help people.  I think I give very effective dating advice - be good looking, be charismatic, move to where there's millions of people, go out and make friends with hundreds of people.  I think the biggest issue is that many people don't, or cannot, do those things.

I am more than happy to be judged, and I live my life pretty much as an open book.  Many people dislike that, and it certainly hinders my dating life, but I prefer to be open.

(October 25, 2023 at 1:19 am)Ahriman Wrote:

(October 25, 2023 at 1:10 am)FrustratedFool Wrote: So, have you tried to be someone who isn't pitiable, who has a range of interests, who is interested in the other person, who doesn't act creepy, who doesn't overtalk, etc?

Ie, have you tried to improve your personality and social skills (like you tried to lose weight)?

I guess if you want to date then you should work at becoming dateable, bith physically and mentally.  If you've genuinely repeatedly tried and can't change yourself, then I would try and find other ways to have a satisfying life.  Some people are plausibly undateable, yes.  You may be one.  But you have to have seriously tried first to find out.

I am not like other people, pretty much not at all. I have nothing in common with the average person. Girls want guys who are like, "society people". I don't give a fuck about society. I really do not see how trying to date a girl would work out. I don't think it would. What would we even talk about?

Fair enough.  I guess you don't want to date because you don't like people.  As a previously sex-repulsed caedsexual I totally understand that.

Are you satisfied with how you live?

I found romantic and sexual satisfaction when I was undatebale and didn't want to date by falling in love with tulpas and objects.  Does you gay hook-up life satisfy you?

(October 25, 2023 at 2:39 am)FrustratedFool Wrote:

(October 25, 2023 at 1:19 am)Ahriman Wrote: I am not like other people, pretty much not at all. I have nothing in common with the average person. Girls want guys who are like, "society people". I don't give a fuck about society. I really do not see how trying to date a girl would work out. I don't think it would. What would we even talk about?

Fair enough.  I guess you don't want to date because you don't like people.  As a previously sex-repulsed caedsexual I totally understand that.

Are you satisfied with how you live?

I found romantic and sexual satisfaction when I was undatebale and didn't want to date by falling in love with tulpas and objects.  Does you gay hook-up life satisfy you?

Well it is "good" but I am never satisfied. I always want more than guys are willing to give.

So long as you're as happy as is plausible to achieve, it's all good.

I want a boyfriend but if my parents found out I had one that would pretty much be the end of my life as I know it.