Is the way we shame women for being promiscuous (slut-shaming) while we praise men for being promiscuous (virgin-shaming) simply an attempt to control women? Or is it something else? FWIW, I have heard far, far more "slut shaming" from women towards other women than I have heard it from men (and I was in a FRATERNITY.)

Obviously, religion had its fair hand in discouraging extra-marital sex - but why didn't it enforce it against men very effectively?

Because men wrote that shit.

I know this guy, btw everyone, so he's not some random stranger. Just so you don't think he's a shit and run.

Doesn't change my answer.

1 woman 5 men, 1 pregnancy. 1 man 5 women, 5 pregnancies. Long before we ever decided sex was bad, mmkay, there was a definite tilt towards promiscuity in males. With some notable exceptions we are the sexual aggressors (again, we're larger and we're bred to be aggressive). Then, after all of that was handled, we wrote some ridiculous bullshit. It's sort of a bad place to end up, bound on the one side by biology, the other by cultural convention.

(March 9, 2012 at 3:36 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: I know this guy, btw everyone, so he's not some random stranger. Just so you don't think he's a shit and run.

Righto, thanks for the warning. I'll give him a legitimate answer then

Wildurr Wrote:Is the way we shame women for being promiscuous (slut-shaming) while we praise men for being promiscuous (virgin-shaming) simply an attempt to control women? Or is it something else? FWIW, I have heard far, far more "slut shaming" from women towards other women than I have heard it from men (and I was in a FRATERNITY.)

Obviously, religion had its fair hand in discouraging extra-marital sex - but why didn't it enforce it against men very effectively?

Firstly, welcome

I don't shame anyone for having sex... but I don't remember if you remember the bad rap Clinton took for it? I don't know about the what the general population does... since I never hung out with them.

(March 9, 2012 at 3:41 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Doesn't change my answer.

Didn't expect it to.

I think Clinton got the bad wrap for his fling because he was married to another woman. I think single guys are encouraged to sleep around (and virgin-shamed if they haven't yet) while single women are labeled as bad "relationship" material if they have casual sex.

My opinion?

Before hormonal birth control and paternity tests, men only had to provide for the babies their wives had. Therfore, "smart men" would ideally marry a woman who either has a low sex drive in general or who is extremely picky in who she has sex with so the husband wouldn't end up a cuckold and raising children that didn't share his genes.

At the same time, men who slept with women they weren't married to effectively could avoid the burdens of providing for a child - leaving the women to care for the child by themself - which was practically impossible to do without the ability to work.

Therefore, it was in women's best social interest to remain chaste and put all of her sexual energy towards her husband - the one who would be providing for the care of her children. That is why we still have men who prefer "non-slut" wives and why women often label other women they don't like as a "slut" - it's a carry-over from an age where that reputation would make men hesitate to marry her - therefore dooming her to a life of loneliness (or prostitution).

Actually, men are slut shamed. They just don't know it because women are less likely to come right out and say rude things to random men, while a man can be found yelling slut at a stranger in just about any city on any given night. Believe me, women sit around talking shit about slutty guys often enough. It's not as if a man escapes the stigma. He just escapes the notoriety.

We were having this discussion over e-mail - guys are, at least nowadays, black labeled if they're "players".