In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.



The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:



Dear Dr. Laura:



Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.



1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?



2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?



3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.



4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?



5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?



6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?



7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?



8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?



9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?



10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.

Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.



Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia



I've done a variation of my own. I call it the Dr. Laura Gambit Redux.

A Teacher has trouble with her unruly students. It must be noted that the Bible contains excellent advice for this problem in Deuteronomy 21:18-21. "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid."
Some dilemmas arise from this situation:

1) Do teachers have the same authority to condemn the children under their care as parents, especially since they act "in loco parentis" (in place of the parents)?
2) Should heavy drinking on the student's part be required for a stoning to take place, or is rebellion enough?
3) Does one need stones to carry it out or would a bullet be a useful alternative?
4) If you're going to use the argument that Jesus made some parts of the Mosaic Code obsolete, then how do you explain Mark 7, where Jesus criticizes priests for failing to follow this particular rule?
5) Is the fact that a rule is Biblical enough reason for it to be treated as relevant in this day and age?

I secretly dream of the day when someone uncovers a secret stash of Dr. Laura horse porn. Yeah, probably not going to happen, but man I can't stand her.

(May 18, 2012 at 8:26 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I secretly dream of the day when someone uncovers a secret stash of Dr. Laura horse porn. Yeah, probably not going to happen, but man I can't stand her.

Yeah, there's been at least one leak of nude pictures of her.

(May 18, 2012 at 8:32 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote:

(May 18, 2012 at 8:26 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I secretly dream of the day when someone uncovers a secret stash of Dr. Laura horse porn. Yeah, probably not going to happen, but man I can't stand her.

Yeah, there's been at least one leak of nude pictures of her.

Nude pictures just bring notoriety and publicity. Horse porn, man, nobody is going to explain that away.

(May 18, 2012 at 8:38 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Nude pictures just bring notoriety and publicity. Horse porn, man, nobody is going to explain that away.

What if I said it was mine and I left it there after a lesbian night together with her?

Makes sense to me... then she'd only have to explain hypocrisy

(May 18, 2012 at 10:10 pm)Violet Lilly Blossom Wrote:

(May 18, 2012 at 8:38 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Nude pictures just bring notoriety and publicity. Horse porn, man, nobody is going to explain that away.

What if I said it was mine and I left it there after a lesbian night together with her?

Makes sense to me... then she'd only have to explain hypocrisy

No no no, you misunderstood me. I didn't mean her personal stash of horse porn, I meant horse porn in which she starred.

I loved "The West Wing " This clip perhaps shows why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWuXpfXSl5Y