Never went to church for a service. Even when I was a Christian I had a huge mistrust for churches.

Churches have no good things to offer that aren't grossly outweighed by the bad things.

I do not miss waiting an hour for a cheap cracker that usually demands at least a dollar in exchange. I also do not miss having a numb ass.

Yeah. I miss being told what to do in just about every aspect of my life. I miss feeling guilty about almost every aspect of my life. I miss not going to the movies because it's a sin. I miss not dancing, because it's a sin, but jumping up and down during worship, because that's the closest thing to dancing and it's allowed. I miss thinking everything related to sex is perverse. I miss having to give up my money. I miss being told to remain humble in every way and submit to Jesus and the leaders, or the god would have to humiliate me for my own good. I miss having to stop and pray before a super delicious dinner when I was super hungry. I miss serving with glee and humility during after church events, Sunday school, outreach events, etc. I miss being called to the pastor's office for "my side of the story" and then waiting to see if I will be put in discipline or if he feels I've done the right thing. I miss standing in front of 500 church members to say I'm sorry for getting pregnant (because if I would have taken the time to plan out my sin, I would have used a condom and then never had to apologize, since nobody would have known). I miss being locked in a room in a Bible institute for purification purposes (not for me, but for everybody else, so I didn't interfere with their cleansing). I miss being pushed by preacher's who wanted to seem powerful when I fell onto somebody's arms and then placed neatly on the floor along with all the other idiots like me. I miss the pastor making all the decisions for me on behalf of the god. I miss being invited to churches to preach and then performing all of these funnies unto them, like it was done unto me. I miss the little cup of grape juice and the little piece of salted cracker during the last part of Sunday service when I was mostly hungry. I miss laughing along with everybody else when the pastor said a lame joke during he sermon.

And oh, yeah, the cake sales, too.

To be fair, Ivy.. You are quite a temptation for anyone
did they wrReALly make u apologize to the congregation for being pregnant!!?? I'm making that a *fucked up religion meme!

You don't understand, luckie, I wasn't married yet. I had it cumming.

BZZZZZzzzt

*slams vibrator on desk*

That was wrong, Ivy (but so right).

Quote:I wasn't married yet.

Neither was fucking "mary."

I went to church every Sunday until I was fifteen, and I never found the church had any good things to offer.

When my dad found out that my mum was talking me to church, he almoust burnt that church down. My father is a protestant anglican, but for him, catholicism is the definition of backwords idiocy and facism and whatever.


And it was my fathers hatred for catholics which saved me from religious institutions as a child, since all religious institutions where we lived were catholic.