Wow! 18 pages in 2 days. Looks like child abuse is a hot topic. My father was a moron socially but very rational (not counting his religion). He tried his level best to spank plenty for our own good. Fortunately for me, as a sailor, he wasn't home a lot. I would never hit my dog with the thought that it would improve their behavior. Trust is paramount. How much more so between parents and kids? If you're going to swat a kid, at least admit it did you more good that it did them.

---

(July 17, 2014 at 3:26 am)Jacob(smooth) Wrote:

(July 16, 2014 at 7:13 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Yeah, I hear you. I make it a point to never let my anger go unchecked in front of or directed towards my son. He's had motivation issues at the alternative school that was a bitch to get him into, and one afternoon when he brought a note home from a very frustrated teacher...

I dressed him down with the command voice I learned as an NCO in the army. Message received loud and clear - kid knows Dad is serious when the volume goes up. Dad doesn't get angry. Dad doesn't yell. Oh fuck, Dad is serious about this shit.

Trick is, you can't yell at 'em all the time or they get numb to it.

I'm no model parent to be sure, and no two kids are alike - which is why I'm not absolutely anti-corporal punishment. It's the wrong tool for *me*, and it seems very often misused, over-used, unnecessary, and sends a very confusing message.

LOL. Truth. I think its the contrast. Mrs Jacob does a lot of shouting and it has very little impact. I use it very rarely but when I do it does get results (although I hate doing it).

I suspect that corperal punishment is similar. If people use it every week it would become background. Swat your child once in 5 years when they run into the road and the impact will be infinitely greater.

Still not found a situation where its the only option I can think of, but I wouldn't rule it out!

Oh and as to being model parents, the only model parents I know are people who are not yet parents. Those "supernanny" programs make me want to hurl stuff at the tv. Very easy to be smug and detatched and sactimonious when you have no emotional attachment, are well rested, can go home and have a cup of tea afterward. At 829 in the morning, you're sleep deprived, when you have to be out by 830 and thing one has just poured shampoo into thing two's school bag and thing two hit thing one with a transformer in retaliation, and you have to stay calm and explain to them the reasons their behavior is wrong so they can grow into well adjusted and thoughtful adults...

I think you're both incredible parents. (I love that you call your kids thing 1 and thing 2 by the way, Jacob.)

Weetbix is divine.

Quote:Hmmm. This starts to sound familiar, I've noticed that my stepdaughter has started doing some sort of Cato-like attacks on me whilst I'm trying to cook her tea.

Literally Lol!

Quote: I hate her (take that lightly I don't literally hate her) because she assumes everyone has unlimited time. No I am not going to sit in my child's doorway facing out all night while I listen to her cry, who has time for that? Bedtime is time to sweep and mop and laundry and shower and all the stuff I can't do when I have three small kids running around.

Yeah. It that moment where the bunny of best practice hits the bumper of 18 wheeler articulated life hurtling down the morning at you at 75 MPH with its airhorn going.

Quote:I think you're both incredible parents. (I love that you call your kids thing 1 and thing 2 by the way, Jacob.)

Why thankyou. But no, we're merely average. Not the worst and not the best. I'm certain we'll screw our kids up in a variety of ways, just trying to make sure that they are not serious, rifle-up-a-clocktower type ways.

(July 17, 2014 at 3:26 am)Jacob(smooth) Wrote: Oh and as to being model parents, the only model parents I know are people who are not yet parents. Those "supernanny" programs make me want to hurl stuff at the tv. Very easy to be smug and detatched and sactimonious when you have no emotional attachment, are well rested, can go home and have a cup of tea afterward. At 829 in the morning, you're sleep deprived, when you have to be out by 830 and thing one has just poured shampoo into thing two's school bag and thing two hit thing one with a transformer in retaliation, and you have to stay calm and explain to them the reasons their behavior is wrong so they can grow into well adjusted and thoughtful adults...

I missed this last bit about the smugness of non-parents. This is perfect. And you are quite right about the supernannys. Not many would put a high schooler in charge of kids these days, but that's what I did after school for years. And it is quite different when you know you get to go home afterword. Heck just not being their parent is useful.

But, supernanny is not the only sanctimonious shades we can put on. Get a few years outside the pre-teen years and you can forget immediacy of all the little problems that feel soo much bigger at the time. I know my memory is fading fast. Give me a couple more decades and I'll have been the perfect parent of toddlers.

(July 16, 2014 at 9:44 pm)Losty Wrote: You probably also cannot imagine being a pregnant single mother of 2 babysitting an infant and 3 other toddlers. I don't have to imagine it because I lived it. I lived on a really small road the speed limit 10 mph. I would take all the kids out and let them play sometimes.

Situations like this are what fences are made for.

Quote:I stood by the road. I'm not an idiot, I knew she couldn't be trusted to keep herself safe. That's why I was standing there, I was honestly surprised that she just stepped out, but I was prepared also.

Sorry, but you couldn't possibly have been prepared to grab five kids by the hair.

(July 16, 2014 at 7:22 pm)Jenny A Wrote: But regardless, each BDSM person must be either theist or atheist. It isn't a religion.

I know many bdsm persons (I'm one myself) and I'd like to add that I think the percentage of them spanking their kids is likely to be lower than in the chart. Someone just made up a number to make a cheap point for atheists over the backs of another minority.

(July 17, 2014 at 11:01 am)alpha male Wrote:

(July 16, 2014 at 9:44 pm)Losty Wrote: You probably also cannot imagine being a pregnant single mother of 2 babysitting an infant and 3 other toddlers. I don't have to imagine it because I lived it. I lived on a really small road the speed limit 10 mph. I would take all the kids out and let them play sometimes.

Situations like this are what fences are made for.

Quote:I stood by the road. I'm not an idiot, I knew she couldn't be trusted to keep herself safe. That's why I was standing there, I was honestly surprised that she just stepped out, but I was prepared also.

Sorry, but you couldn't possibly have been prepared to grab five kids by the hair.

Oh well fuck me, why the fuck did I not think of building a fence
No I was not prepared to grab 5 kids by the hair.
I was however prepared to see every time a car was coming. This gave me enough time to see where each kid was and make whatever decision necesarry to make sure everyone would be safe. Every kid was safe. I had the littlest one in my arm. The other three were by the house (not enough time to run to the street and get hit)
And LeliBug was right next to me. I never in a million years would have guessed that she'd step out, but I was standing right next to her and I did have my attention on her.

(July 17, 2014 at 12:02 pm)Bibliofagus Wrote:

(July 16, 2014 at 7:22 pm)Jenny A Wrote: But regardless, each BDSM person must be either theist or atheist. It isn't a religion.

I know many bdsm persons and I'd like to add that I think the percentage of them spanking their kids is likely to be lower than in the chart. Someone just made up a number to make a cheap point for atheists over the backs of another minority.

I'd like to see a source for the chart. It's a weird chart anyway because it shows percentage of spankers by group rather than the percentage of parents in each group that spank. Here's a site that has demographics on spanking by sex, race, and age. http://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=a...d-spanking

(July 17, 2014 at 1:15 pm)Jenny A Wrote: I'd like to see a source for the chart. It's a weird chart anyway because it shows percentage of spankers by group rather than the percentage of parents in each group that spank. Here's a site that has demographics on spanking by sex, race, and age. http://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=a...d-spanking

Yeah, I was wondering if anyone was gonna ask for a source on that.

I'm aroused by some BDSM fantasies and I'm not a violent person, in fact I despise violence. The 'violence' I like is not really an aggression since it's consented, and only has the purpose of sexual satisfaction, not discipline